The Nerd Has A Boner 2: Summer Deeds

Chapter Eight

"Life is too short to hold grudges with the wrong people. You could hate them and still hug them. You could care about them and never ask how they're doing. If life is short, why do we miss out on doing the things that matter most?"-Anonymous

Sarah Hill

Max won't stop talking about his birthday. He was born on a day Mother would call unexpected. Her due date wasn't for another six days. Papa was out at work. One thing we did know is that Max was coming into this world one way or another. That's a brief story on Max's birth. He's getting a party and, I'll make sure.

What if Fredrick isn't the only one next?

They could be questioning him or trying to bribe him for his friends. I've been having a bad past with friends lately. Though, the sweet aroma of chicken and waffles wafts my nose. It does its job by distracting me. Chicken and waffles are some of my favorite dishes.

There are also a lot of calories in it but I don't care. I look to my side at Papa and Max taking out the cooked wings from the oven. They are all still tense and angry but they are only gathering because it's dinner. I feel my heart still accelerate at the thought of Rodger coming back and bringing his people. How can I be so sure that is the last time? Will he try to press charges to take all we have?

I help wash up the dishes and set the table. During dinner, I take three waffles and two pieces of chicken. I want to apologize for everything that's happened. I have to learn that I shouldn't because I didn't cause this to happen. I walk to the kitchen counter to glance down at the buttermilk waffles that dripped syrup and honey. Max licks what fell on his finger. Papa is washing dishes after. He stops to walk around the counter.

"I heard back from Mom. She's isn't complying at all but they said that is normal at the start of withdrawal. One week still left until she's released," He tells us. Max and Sandy are quiet next to me.

"How long will this last?" Max asks. My body feels like folding into nothing. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes. My hand on my other quivers.

"What do you mean?" Papa wipes the last dish dry and turns to Max.

"How long will the pain last?" He questions all of us now.

"The pain I get because we'll never be a happy family." Max is hurting too. We all are now. I try to stop my leg from shaking and my ears from replaying the sound of Rodger's nose breaking. The sounds of my cries seeing Oliver weak in a hospital bed. The thought of Jay and his father make me cower and want to defend myself. I see my Mom still in bed with Rodger on the night my life changed. I'm freaking out on the inside and I can't stop the anxiety.

"I need to go. I need to leave...I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I start hyperventilating. Papa goes over to me quickly and I move away and out of my seat. I feel myself fall and I get up quickly with adrenaline in my veins.

"Sarah, breathe. Calm down." I need to be alone to get over this one.

"I'm okay," I cry, bringing my legs up and tucking my head in my knees. I breathe unsteady. I want to go back to Brooklyn where we had no problems. Every day was a happy day. No drugs. No violence. No anorexia. No father with anger issues. No assault.

I cough and splutter as I cry. I try to think of a happy place. A happy place. I thought of Oliver and I. When we're in Venice on my birthday. We were taking Polaroids and smiling. My breathing is decent now.

"Get her some water," Papa said. I watch him and take in a breath before letting it out. Max goes to the sink and fills a glass with ice and water. He comes back and hands it to Papa. I feel my eyes settle my hands stop shaking. I blink my eyes at how ashamed I am for letting another attack take me down like this. This was panic.