The Nerd Has A Boner 2: Summer Deeds

Chapter Nineteen

"Family is there through thick and thin. They do what's best for everyone and conquer a lot. Nobody leaves others behind and does not look back. They're not family if they do."-Anonymous

Max Hill

I haven't seen flower girl in a while. She's usually playing video games or putting on stuff I think is makeup. Audrey plays things that are my age when we're together. She doesn't see me as a man. I don't like that about her.

For my birthday, I'll make sure Audrey knows that turning nine is a whole new me. My guy friends have kept me busy when they have time. Any other time, I'm alone. I took my bicycle out yesterday. That was fun for a while. Then Dad did that thing. That guy looked so bad. Sarah kept telling me to go and I couldn't move. I felt stone cold.

My game console is getting boring with the same games. Sarah doesn't talk to me and when she does, it's about my birthday. We don't talk about her anxiety attack or what Dad did. It's too private.

With Sandy gone, I don't hear punk rock music late at night. My stuffed animals aren't any use if they cannot respond. If anyone saw my collection of stuffed animals, it would be embarrassing. Especially, if Audrey saw.

Mom and Dad have each other. He took the books he got to the center she's at. Dad said a few more days we'll be able to go see her. I'm only learning so much day by day. I had tried to beat this level of a game I was playing when I heard Dad was telling Sarah about my birthday. I had just told Dad earlier how rude Oliver was. Oliver and I are not friends. I don't mind pretending. Oliver was being mean. That isn't nice. Not even to girls.

I don't think it's a good thing to tattletale, though. I don't know why I did it. It felt wrong but also good because Dad acknowledged me. He doesn't do that a lot. It feels like most of his attention goes to Mom. I get that she isn't doing well but I'm forgotten. It's unfair. I had tiptoed out of my room to see Sarah and Dad cooking together. They were whipping up something good. I could smell it from here. I wondered what it was.

Finally, they finished and Dad joined me upstairs. He's watching me play as he asks me how long I've been playing.

"Well, I don't know, however long until it gets boring," I say.

"You could go see Audrey if you want," Dad tells me.

"Too late. She's probably busy with her friends," I move my controller to avoid a zombie. He sighs and pats my head.

"Hey, I know Mom isn't around and you've felt..alone? We could plan to do something tomorrow or just play games here," Dad suggests. I shake my head. I'll be taking him away from Sarah. I'll be fine by myself.

I might get my birthday present revoked if Sarah's mad at me. My birthday is in eleven days from now. I'll be nine by then. Every single birthday I've had is never gone without celebrating. We have Mom and Dad decorate. Sandy would cook or order food. While I make the party bags. That's how it's always been. Things have changed so much since then.

A pack of fruit snacks is unopened on my bed. Mom and dad never seem to talk things out. Everyone's a bad version of themselves at some point. Except, me. I have stayed the same person. Same old Max for eight years. My friends say it's okay to be you but, being myself isn't making me happy.

So, who am I? Am I someone like the superheroes in movies or the person superheroes save? The answer is, I don't know.

I have a lot of growing up to do still. I play again. I'm back to where I started. I try again. I walk around the obstacles to hide away from the monster in the game. It works. I guess I wasn't doing it right before.

"It's okay if you don't have any friends. I was a loner as a kid," Dad confesses.

"No, you weren't." I put my controller down and wait for the next level. I look at him.

"No, I wasn't. I thought it would make you feel better if you didn't look so sad without Mom around. Everyone's missing her," dad says. He takes a seat on my other side with one of my stuffed animals in hand. It sways from his right hand to the left.

"I'm not alone," I look at his big beard and overgrown hair.

"Okay, if you say so," Dad smiles sadly. The window in my room has a tree whipping its branches harshly. It makes a thud every few seconds. The humidity is high today.

"When is dinner?" Dad gives me a know-it-all look.

"In an hour or two."

"Sarah's not okay." Dad looks at me skeptically.

"She's always with you and that anxiety attack. I saw the attack every time you guys walk past her," I feel my eyes burn with unshed tears. How could they not see?

"I know. I told her to eat more. I told her she should take her medication. What more can we do? Son, I am using what's left of what I earned that was supposed to be Sarah's scholarship money. Sarah's grown and judging by her actions, can figure it out herself. You are young, do things in life the right way." Dad agitated bringing her up.

"Would you rather she get hurt?" I look at him.

"That's not what I'm saying. Sarah can handle her problems because she's strong. I know that she is capable of getting better on her own. It's just a phase. Don't worry," Dad says.

I jump down from my bed and walk out of my room. What he said doesn't sound right at all. But, what do I know? I'm just a kid.