The Nerd Has A Boner 2: Summer Deeds

Chapter Eleven

"I think you're made for me. Do you want to know why? I don't think you are ready to know. It's just too much love to handle at once."-Anonymous

Sarah Hill

The time is Four-fifty four. My anxiety attack has been done for a while now. My throat is My nose is congested. I want to sleep desperately. This attack has drained me like no other. They're so apparent that it's happening but ending shorter.

I need Oliver. He's a call away but a drive far. College should get me used to that.

Your significant other faded away like a memory you had to let fly. It's how every breakup ends when college starts. The hidden test to prove distance can't hurt.

Can we make it work? Will we work out?

The doubts I have. My hand pathetically reaches for my phone. It unlocks. I call Oliver. To my surprise, he picks up the call.

"Hey, Can't sleep?" I hear the drowsiness in his voice. I feel bad for what I'm about to say.

"Will we stay together in college? What if we break up?" I hiccup. My knee tucks up to my chin. The headphones plug into my phone. I place it in my ear. Another hitch of uneven breathing makes me aware of my heart beating fast.

"Sarah, trust that we will stay together," Oliver's honeydew voice breaks me. He feels pity that I called him. That has to be why he sounds so caring.

"I know and it's morning. You have to work and get enough sleep. I'm sorry," I cry. There are loud creaks in the background of his end.

"Don't feel bad. I think it's time I talk to you about this. We are a couple for a reason. We do things together." A sound of an engine warms my heart. I love him with all my heart.

"I'll be there, baby. No doubt or worry, I'll be there. Butterscotch, find Sunny. Then, count for me, okay?" Oliver speaks between the sounds of his truck. I grab Sunny from behind me and hold him tightly. I plop my head on a dry pillow. I feel like I'm cold sweating.

"Be safe. I'll be counting," I whisper. The call ends after that. The counting is keeping me busy and not thinking as much. My body is still shaking. The beating of my heart is loud in my ears. I am at number sixty-eight.

Does he want to talk about how bothersome my anxiety is to him?

That one thought breaks the chain of my counting.

On cue, the slight tap on my bedroom door makes me want go to open it. Oliver's face hid in the darkness of the early morning with a Nintendo in his hand. A folded blanket is over his shoulder. I can only tell it's him because of his green eyes that stand out in the night. I trudge and trudge before lifting the window. The slight breeze shivers the branches. Then I open the door for Oliver.

"Have you been counting?" He steps through the doorway.

"Yes, all the way to sixty-eight," I sit back on the bed. I leave the window open for the air to free me of the suffocating feeling. The first thing Oliver does standing this close is to kiss my cheek. He's careful of every move he makes. The other side of my cheek isn't left without a kiss too.

"You're okay. Trust me. Nothing will happen. I'm here." He puts my mind to rest when it's busy. My hand folds over the other in an attempt to contain my emotions.

"My anxiety attack stopped. I just have doubts that college will be harder for us," I said.

"It's probably just like going to High School. We're not breaking up as long as we both don't want to."

When I hear about anxiety and depression in books, they never dwell on what happens when you're alone. Such as being in public and nobody caring to help. You can also feel alone and can't muster the courage to ask for help. That's exactly how I feel now.