It's been awhile since I've met the guys. I've got to know all of them so well. There all great. I've got to know each one of them personally. They all watch me and each know little things about me. I miss my friends a lot but I call them every week. I've also talked to Blaze. I feel bad he's still living with Steph and Todd.
Darry is definitely the adult of the group. He told me if I've ever needed anything or someone to talk to he's there for me. That meant a lot to me. He's like another adult friend. Then there's time I can't stand adults. Darry has a hard time because he has to work a lot to support Ponyboy and Sodapop.
Ponyboy is very smart for his age. He reads me and Johnny books. I go out and watch sunsets with him. I think there beautiful.
Johnny is very shy. Johnny I've learned has his own personal problems going on at home. His parents abuse him. I've become close to him. He is the only one that's known I've been abused a lot by my aunt and uncle. He told me he's glad that I left that house.
Sodapop is close to me. I hang out with him and Steve at the DX. Sodapop thinks he's stupid but I keep telling him he's not. Soda tells me that Darry and Pony fight and he feels like the middleman in a tug of war. I listen to him because it's good for him to get it out. Keeping things bottled in aren't good.
Twobit and me are very close. We are so much alike. We tell jokes all the time. We're like the court jesters of the group. Twobit is very understanding person though. Most people don't know that. He's also very protective. Another thing ng is he drinks like me. I don't drink as much though.
Dally and me still have come to terms of being friends. But I think I made progress. We went out for a drink once. He's not my enemy but not my friend. I have a feeling were going to have a problem.
I'm currently at home in my room. Steve is at work ands going to pick me up on my lunch break which is soon.
I grabbed my shoes putting them on and went downstairs. I sat on the couch and waited for Steve to come pick me up.
The phone rang so I went into the kitchen and picked it up.
"Hello," I said.
"Ray it's me?"
"Oh hey Jade."
"I gotta tell you something," she sounded serious which makes me nervous.
"Yea."
"Anna is acting up again. I didn't want to tell you but it's getting out of hand. Bella is upstairs currently with her keeping a eye on her."
"What to you mean out of hand her depression is getting bad again?" Now I felt terrible for leaving.
"Not only her depression. That's what's causing this but she's drinking, her parents the ones who don't care are wondering about her saying she hasn't come home, she's started to smoke, she dyed her hair black, and she's just not Anna." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Right than I heard the door open. Steve came in and I gave him give me a minute finger and continued to talk.
"Well depression makes you do crazy stuff sometimes."
"Shes screwing herself up though. I don't know what to do. Her body is full of new scars. All she's wearing is big sweaters now. I saw her shirt ride up the other day and there were cuts all over her stomach. She's not eating. I don't want her to get hurt." Hearing this about a her hurts. I've always thought of her as my sister.
"Whats she smoking?"
"Cigarettes, at least a pack every two days, weed, I don't know who she's getting it from." I shook my head
"Put her on the phone now!" I want to talk to her to help her. I might not be there but I will sure as hell try. I heard her scream for Anna and Bella through the phone.
"Helloooo." I've been with them drunk and they all are high functioning drunks.
"Anna what are doing what's going on with you?"
"I can't do this anymore!" She sounded like she was in tears.
"Don't give up on yourself please. Just stop. Your beautiful and I love you like a sister get yourself some help or call me. No more of this bullshit."
"Okay."
"You better work yourself out. Can you put Jade on the phone please?"
"Yup!" I put the phone on my shoulder.
"Steve you can leave. I'm not going anywhere today."
"Alright bye Ray," Steve said.
I put the phone back, "Hey Jade sorry."
"Its fine. So what did you say?"
"I told her to get her act together. Watch her don't let her out of sight if you do she's going to go the her dealer. And tell Bella I said hi and ill try to talk to her again soon."
"Alright talk to you later Ray."
I hung up the phone and went back upstairs. With that my day went by with me thinking. I couldn't stop thinking about how bad Anna has gotten. I'm worried. I don't want her to get hurt.
After a long time of thinking I grabbed some paper and began to right songs.
When Steve came home he came up to my room.
"Hey Ray you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"What happened on the phone?"
I sighed, "One of my friends is having a rough time with life. I use to help her but now I'm here." I just layer on my pillow.
"Oh. Are you hungry?"
"No not really."
"You never eat!"
"I eat sometimes. I've learned not to eat a lot it's a bad habit. I use to never eat now it takes time for me to get back to eating."
"Oh. Hey Ray I have a question?"
"Shoot," I was staring at the ceiling.
"Do you have depression?"
"Steve most people do have depression it's just some people don't have it as bad."
"Oh."
"Why do you ask?"
"Nothing its nothing." Now I know it's not nothing.
"What is it Steve just tell me."
"I don't want to upset you." This is why I hate telling people about it because than the do that.
"Ugh!" Now he mentions it and I want to know, "Just tell me. It's fine." Nothing's fine.
"Well sometimes your bracelets move around and you can see the red lines and some other ones. Even some of the guys have asked before about it." It's not easy to hide scars on your wrist.
"Listen I'll tell you something it's not easy to stop. It's an addiction. Just like your guy's smoking. The red ones are more recent but it helps me sometimes and the guys can come to me. Who asked?"
"It doesn't matter."
I just signed I had nothing to say. I lyed down and cuddle into my pillow with that Steve got the hint to leave so you got of my bed and left.
I didn't think Steve has ever been the nice to me. Usually he's a jerk but a jerk you can talk to.
