Pancakes for dinner - JJPOPE

Chapter six

There's a warmness within Sarah's home, a nice wave of heat that hangs in the air, somehow easing JJ's ever growing anxiety. The group was all seated around the living room, laughing and sipping at their bottles of beers, bodies buzzing, heads thrown back.

Everything is flowing as usual, their humour pinging off of one another, and yet, panic still weaves its way through JJ's tight chest, making it harder to breathe. No matter how much fun they were all having, JJ knew he would have to interrupt it sooner or later to let out his secret.

It had to happen tonight. It just felt right to JJ, doing it while everyone was around, only their group and nobody else to overhear. For if JJ were to do it at school, it was more than likely for other people to overhear and JJ did not want to have to go through all of that just yet.

Gossip in OuterBanks went around like wildfire. The students at school are able to spread it around both sides of the island, making it extremely likely for adults to overhear the information. And if JJ's dad's work buddies found out, there was no way in hell he was going back home and being ignored.

Looking up from his beer, JJ can see Kiara watching him from her place on the couch beside Cleo and Sarah, her head tilted slightly, a concerned expression on her lips. The look in her eyes is questioning, as though silently asking JJ if he were okay.

JJ forces a smile, sipping once more at his beer, even though right now, he despised the taste of it. How bitter it was, how much it was burning his dry throat. If Kiara was sensing that something was up with him, that then meant in no time everyone else would catch on and turn the night into an intervention.

Shifting his eyes away not so subtly, JJ catches John B's gaze and he knows without even having to think what he was meaning. He wanted to know if JJ was ready, if he needed to shut everyone up. Letting out a deep breath, a shaky one at that, JJ nods. It was now or never.

"Hey, uh, guys?" Whispers JJ, voice cracking at the edges, heart pounding, hands shaking.

Nobody seems to hear, conversing loudly, almost a shout. "Oi!" John B calls out, clapping his hands.

All attention turns to him, an airy silence hanging around them.

"JJ," John B nods, smiling in reassurance.

JJ forces a smile.

"Um.. I have something to tell you guys." JJ finally says after a few moments, clearing his throat. His hands were rubbing up and down his thighs anxiously, legs bouncing. "Something that's taken a really long time for me to accept about myself and I feel it's time for me to be honest."

Nobody speaks, smiling at JJ, waiting. He sucks in a deep breath once more, running his hands through his hair, then dragging them down his face, and finally letting them rest in his lap, clasped together. "I.." pausing, JJ bows his head, eyes falling closed, before meeting everyone's gazes once more. John B leans over, places his hand over his own and squeezes, smiling encouragingly. "I'm gay."

Dropping his eyes, JJ can't bear to see the looks on everyone's faces. It's silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop. JJ holds his breath.

"Oh, wow." Sarah breaks the silence, and at the sound of her voice, JJ knows she was smiling. "That's great, JJ."

JJ lifts his head. Everyone was still smiling, still looking at him kindly.

"I'm proud of you for accepting yourself," voices Kiara.

"Thank you for feeling comfortable with us." Says Cleo.

JJ looks over at Pope, biting his lip. He smiles at him. "We all still love you, JJ. Nothing will change that. Thank you for telling us."