The Thing About Timing (The Becoming of Elliott Goode)

Chapter 54

When Cordelia's alarm went off early the next morning, she moved to quickly silence it, not wanting to wake her sleeping daughter. She could feel the toll the previous night had taken on her, operating on only a few hours of sleep, and once Elliott was awake there was little to no hope of her settling back down.

Cordelia rolled out of bed and began to move cautiously around the room, grabbing articles of clothing from the floor and closet rather than the drawers, forgoing the heels in favor of a quieter shoe, and forgetting jewelry altogether.

The drive was silent, apart from the hum of the engine and the Supreme's racing thoughts. She gripped the steering wheel so tight her knuckles began to pop under the strain, going over and over in her head what she was going to say. The woman had never been good at expressing her emotions, a trait she inherited from her mother. Every time she would try to verbalize how she felt, it always came out cluttered and unfocused, like she was rushing to get it all out before she imploded. Nothing seemed good enough, and as the miles to her destination dwindled, the more she felt like it would be better for everyone if she just turned around.

It was strange to think the very problem she was steering her daughter away from was the one she currently had to fight. Here she was, pushing Elliott to face her demons, and she couldn't even face hers. She told the girl not to run, but it was taking everything in her to push forward. A part of her knew it was always supposed to work this way, that history had a habit of repeating itself, and that the problems you faced were the same ones you advised against, but something about it just seemed like a never-ending spiral of misery. How was she supposed to give advice she herself could never take?

Still, she pushed forward, wandering aimlessly through the swamp Misty called home until she felt it, that magnetic pull that could only be described as home. She took a step towards it, then paused, glancing back to where she came and almost giving in to the fear of rejection, that was until she felt something crawl over her foot, glancing down to see a Pinesnake making its way through the tall grass.

She shot off like a bullet, the purpose of her trip long forgotten as she wove through the brush and darted around trees. Running towards something, anything, that was as far away from that as possible.

It wasn't long until she broke through into a clearing, stopping in her tracks as she spotted the mop of curly hair she knew so well. Misty glanced up from her garden to see her girlfriend's chest heaving, eyes frantic as she glanced around, "You come out here all by ya'self?"

The Cajun witch's piercing stare was enough to render her mute, her nerves prickling as she nodded and stared at the ground, searching for any sign of movement.

"Why?" Misty asked sharply.

Cordelia could hear the hurt that laced her tone, and any speech she had prepared disappeared from her memory, her hands turning clammy and beginning to shake. "Because... well... uh..." Cordelia began, stumbling over words as she raked through her mind. She saw the swamp witch stand up, but she didn't lift her eyes from the ground, forcing her girlfriend to close the distance and lift her chin, looking straight into those ocean blue eyes that once haunted her dreams. "Because I'm crazy about you." Cordelia finally spit out, her lip worrying between her teeth for a moment until she continued, "And that makes me, uh... just crazy."

Misty's eyes softened, only a bit, before Cordelia felt the grass below brush her ankles, a field mouse running between the blades just close enough to make Cordelia shriek, to which Misty grinned and let out a chuckle. "Ok," Cordelia huffed, throwing her a look, "I guess I deserve that."

"Ya think?" Misty asked, watching the supreme roll her eyes, "Ya better finish off that apology before the gators come out."

"I'm sorry," Cordelia began, "I'm so sorry. I'm just a mess and I'm trying to be a good mom and I feel like nothing I do is ever enough and- "