Hoe Tales

Truths

Things you can't avoid: time, taxes and the truth. The new year came in like a cold shower on an early morning, nobody was ready. Certainly not me.

Despite growing older, I had more questions than answers. What was friendship? Was it me leaving Shamoya without so much as a goodbye? Over ten years we'd been friends, we made plans together, went to school together and then I left the friendship behind just like everything else in my past. She never deserved that. Was friendship Patrice setting me up to be raped or worst? No, I didn't know what friendship was, not anymore. But that was the least of my problems I had a lot on my mind and were it not for She-She, friendship wouldn't have crossed it. Because I didn't learn my lesson the first time, She-She was in my hair again, pulling and tugging. The pain would be worth it though, my braids were growing out and I had plans for the weekend.

It was nice and cool. Januarys were always chilly like that, at least the early mornings and late evenings, it was still Kingston after all. The year was 2003, not a very eventful year for the rest of the world but I knew it would be a turning point in my life. Too much had already happened for things to be the same.

No one had seen Patrice in almost a month. I was sure she was ok though, women like her always landed on their feet even if it meant pushing someone else off theirs. Her apartment stayed closed and no one knew if she would be coming back. I can't say I was happy with the way things ended between her and I. I thought the fight would have made everything better, bring me some closure, but it left me with serious trust issues and even less loyalty than I had before. When She-She started gossiping about her, I welcomed the conversation. He knew her better than I did and maybe he would make it all make sense. 

"The one good man the gyal have yuh just tek suh!" She-She was bare-faced, to him, you called a spade a spade and a whore a whore.

"Mi neva tek him, we did a share."

"No sah, mi wudda stab yuh up, fi real real"

"Fi wah?" I didn't understand what the big deal was, I knew it wasn't nice but so what? If it wasn't me it would be somebody else. And it's not like he was her real man.

"The girl did really care bout him"

I thought about it and I could understand why she would like him, but she never really showed it. She always seemed so heartless and not in a wicked way, but in detached sort of way. Like she wouldn't allow anyone to get too close.

"You nuh know Pat, me know har and that man was the only good thing inna har life and fi months pan months she a talk seh supm change, supm nuh right. When the man used to wake har up wid a call every morning it start come every other day then every couple day and mi try tell har fi easy harself; but she was did fi fret. Supm did Inna supm fi true"

"Suh what about the other man dem?" I asked

She-She laughed "Dem wuklis man deh?"

"Which wukliss man you a talk bout? nuh pure politician and business man Patrice talk to?"

"Dats the problem wid people, you see a piece a smaddy life and think you know dem. A one bag a taxi-man an vendor Patrice sell to. Nuh mek the clothes fool yuh."

"Patrice seh out a har own mouth seh she nuh fuck poor man"

"But hear how you a defend gyal afta she set yuh up. Patrice lie, tek it from me, Patrice lie bad bad. She have some very dutty ways bout har but that man did jus seem fi really love har, and then one day him stop." She-She said.

Had I caused that? And was this a sign? Would Lee do the same thing to me?

"How did she find out about me an Lee?" Why did I sound guilty?