Hoe Tales

Big Things

In 2005 you couldn't turn the TV on without seeing or hearing O. He was constantly playing on the radio and was arguably one of the biggest performers on the island. Through him, Sham and I were going to parties with Bounty Killa and Beenie and basically all the greats at the time. Times were obviously different, simpler; you couldn't just pick up a phone, record people and expose them on social media. The artiste were less guarded and on any given night you could have a conversation with anyone from Sizzla to Vybez Kartel passing through with his crew. Maybe if I had known that Kartel would become the 'Worl Boss' I would have tried a thing, but at the time mi neva frighten fi no artiste.

Everyone knew you had to accept bun when you were dating someone with a name. They were not going to be faithful and Sham was ok with that at the start. It was no longer ok when the media got involved. People talked about O as much as they sang his songs. His personal life was as big a topic as his chart toppers. Sham didn't like the fact that O was always pictured with other women or that he refused to claim her (or anyone for that matter) in his interviews. Even if Sham and O were pictured together the caption would be non-descript, no one would take up the gleaner, look in the party section and think she was anything more than a fan. And that killed her.

Sham was pressuring O for a commitment but they wanted different things. Sham needed a ring, or at at least the promise of one. O's idea of commitment was getting Sham pregnant and adding her to his growing list of baby mothers. Nothing said permanence like a child, nothing said forever like becoming a family.
The problem was, Sham didn't want to have a child, not yet. A child would come after marriage, nobody was going to get her pregnant and leave her to raise it alone. And if someone did, she was walking away with half of everything they owned.

I cemented myself in their life. Me and O never spoke about the night we spent together and we simply went back to being friends. There was no discomfort or awkwardness between us, there couldn't be, not if I wanted to become his confidant. I knew that everyone needed someone on their side, even when they're wrong. For O, I was that person. He told me everything, and I listened and agreed with him, it really was all Shamoya's fault. Between the two of them coming to me with their problems, I knew their relationship inside-out and I knew exactly what it was missing.

When O showed up at my apartment at 10pm on a Tuesday it was obvious that he and Sham had an argument. Any other day and I would have sent him away but enough time had passed. I had played the slow game, earned his trust and now I was ready to go in for the kill.

"D mi feel fi just guh ova and nuh come back."

"Wah gwaan now?" I opened the door wide so he could walk pass me and enter the apartment.

"Mi nuh know weh Sham want, mi a artis, girls all ova aguh want mi, weh mi fi do?"

Ignore dem? It was that simple, he didn't have to sleep with everyone that came his way. By his logic, Sham should have been sleeping around just as much as him, men chased her as much as women flocked him. But I couldn't say that.

"Mi cyaa even imagine weh that must be like, fi always have people a run affa yuh, but everybody know the lifestyle and know weh it come wid."

"Yuh zimi? It's all a part a the deal" O sat down in the settee, leaned back and got comfortable.

"Sham should be greatful, you treat har so good and you make time fi har. I think she might fraid fi lose you. A muss dat"

"No sah, fraid fi lose mi an run mi fram har place?"

"She just vex, yuh know how woman stay."

"You nuh stay suh, dat mi like bout yuh, yuh humble. Yuh nuh mek nuht'n too bodda yuh."