Learn to Love Again || Loki X Reader

Part Three

You

"We can learn to love again. That's what you had said, so long ago. Where did it go, Loki? Where did it go?"

"I don't know, darling. I don't know."

The suddenly ominous night sky felt like it was closing in on you. The beating of your heart was an unstable rhythm and the air around you was as if it had frozen. You lifted your hand towards your lover's face. It was trembling.

Loki grasped your hand within his own. He brushed his pale fingers over yours, soothing them with his touch.

The grass beneath you felt too soft all of a sudden. You were going to drown. You were going to sink under him, once again. That was the last thing you wanted. You just wanted to be his equal, not someone beneath him. You were too important to be behind him. You were meant to be by his side, finding the ways of life together.

You were meant to be together. And now it was slipping away, like a nightmare about to become reality. You couldn't let that happen.

"What can I do, Loki? How can we find each other again?" You stared into his green eyes, hoping to find the solution to all of your problems within them.

"I don't think we can, love." His answer diminished your hope; he blazed you to the ground.

"Not with that attitude we can't. You've always been so negative. Why can't you just look at the world with a little spirit?"

Your face told Loki that you wanted to be with him- you wanted to make things work. A second chance is what he wanted. What he felt like he needed.

But he couldn't have it. Not with you. Not with anyone.

"Because the world is dead. Have you seen how bad of a place this is? It's horrible. You can't even walk around at night without someone trying to kill you these days!" Loki shrugged off your hand with great pain.

"That's why you're here to protect me! We can make the world a better place!" You childishly stomped your foot. Loki frustrated you; he always had. Why couldn't he believe in you, in your future? Why was he always so stuck in the past?

"Yeah? A better place? That's what they all say before everything turns to ruin." Loki turned around.

He was going to leave.

As he walked away, you decided that you were going to deal with this the hard way. "Loki, you get back here this instant!"

Loki turned around again, this time to face you. "And why should I do that, my sweet?"

"Because if you leave, then you will regret it. Please, Loki. Don't leave without giving me a second chance. Without giving us a second chance."

"And why should I do that? Is it so you can have the thrill of cheating on me again? Is that it?"

You felt your eyes welling up, and tears started to run down your face. "Please, Loki- I'm sorry for what I did. I- I don't know what I'd do without you," you took a small step towards him.

"Please." You whispered. Your heart was tied into knots.

You hadn't known what had overcome you when you did it. You and Loki had been in a relationship for three years, and then Mark had come over and taken a hold of your heart. Strong, brave Mark. He had swept you off of your feet without you even realising it. But Loki had seen what the two of you had done. You had gone behind his back, seeing Mark in the darkest of places, with the thrill of danger always stepping behind you. You hadn't had that with Loki. With Loki, your heart felt content. Life was more... calm with Loki. He was always nice, always warm and gentle with you. And at the start, you loved it. You loved him.

But then you had longed for something more. Something- no, someone, who made your blood boil. Who made your heart beat faster at the very mention of their name, or the sound of their voice. You wanted a man, or even a woman, who made all of your dark fantasies come to life. You wanted to be shown the ways of the more... dangerous things in life. And Mark had given you that. He had taken away the stableness of your life with Loki and completely turned it upside down. Mark was the opposite of boring. And as he destroyed your life, you had loved every second of it. With Loki, life was easy. It was relaxed. With Mark, it was high-powered. It was refreshing.

"So now you want me back. Sweet ol' Loki, who couldn't hurt a fly. Well, darling," Loki said, strutting back towards you, "you couldn't be more wrong." He grabbed you by the face and brought it closer to his. "I'm going to show you things that you couldn't even have dreamed of. Do you understand?"

Your eyes widened. Who was this? You could only nod.

"I said, do you understand? And I want a real answer this time, love," Loki grinned his signature grin, his pearly whites flashing and his eyes showing an expression you had never seen on his face before. It was... malicious.

"Yes, Loki. Yes, I do-"

"Uh-uh, darling. You may want to save those words for the wedding," his hand moved off your face and he stepped back. "Remember, sweet, that you created this. You wanted it, and now you're going to pay for it."

All you could do was stare at him in transfixed horror.

What had you created?

You sit up in your bed, confusion written all over your features. What was that? It was only but a dream, and yet it had felt so real. The reality in the dream was not too much unlike your own, except for the glaring fact that Loki in the real world wasn't about to do a one-eighty in your life and come back as some mysterious man who sounded like he had just joined a gang. What in my subconscious made me dream like that, you wondered. You were quite sure that the dream was not going to be a manifestation or a telling of the future, that was certain. And you were also pretty sure that  Loki wasn't messing with your mind. At least, not anytime soon. He had already messed with it enough. 

You sigh and get up, heading towards the kitchen to make yourself a coffee. Maybe I can forget about this dream. You didn't want to dwell on things that weren't real and hurt yourself needlessly. The tall, dark haired man with flaring eyes and smooth pale skin had done enough. You were just going to live your life without such... distractions anymore. Maybe you would talk to Mark again. Maybe you would become abstinent. Okay, maybe not abstinent. 

A part of you hoped that Loki would show up at your door, changed (but not like a bad boy change) and reformed into someone who you could completely love. That would be nice. 

You start to make your espresso. You took comfort in simple things in life such as this, where things were routine and didn't change. You're not exactly the type of person who embraces change with an open heart and widened arms. You'd rather sit in solidarity and not take big steps of your comfort zone like that. Which was why being with Loki had been so different for you. So much change, and you had to admit that most of it wasn't for the worse.

Until the lies has crept in. Then you retreated back into your box, waiting patiently until things reverted back to the usual. 

But then they hadn't It got worse, and you became huddled in the middle of your zone, too scared to even take a step closer to the edge. And then Loki left, and you could finally breathe easier again. 

With Loki now, you wanted change in him. That scared you. So making the coffee helped. After you had your coffee, you settled on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through different movies on Netflix. 

Until you heard your doorbell ring.