Learn to Love Again || Loki X Reader

Part Five

You

"I know you've read Norse mythology stories. You must think that you know some of my stories already," Loki looks down at his hands. It's an action he does when he's nervous or trying to think of an answer to a complicated question that requires insight and speculation. This time you believe that it may be both.

"I'm guessing that those books are wrong." You look to him, trying to meet his eyes and see what's beyond them, but he doesn't look up, instead continuing to gaze at his fingers.

"Yes. Most of the stories in there that depict me are entirely wrong. Some contain symbolism of what I have done, but it is mostly false, as is usual with mythology. For example, Thor is not my nephew. He is my brother. I still don't like him very much, however. You see my point?" This time, after he finishes his sentence, Loki returns your gaze, letting you see the emotion beneath. You know for a fact that he is not lying, as his eyes contain no sparkle. They are, in contrast, dull and unexciting.

"Yes, I do," you breathe, starting to lose yourself in the wallowing intensity deep within his abyss.

"Well, I used to live a moderately simple life," Loki smiled at his words, remembering the times before. "Thor and I would play around in the gardens of the golden palace, and we would have a good time. Just me and him. I used to favour the world then, though I had no passion for it. I, the great God Loki, had no qualms back then. I believed the world to be good." Loki takes a deep breath in, and you can see that the words that come next out of his mouth will affect him. You take a hand and put it on his, soothing him by grazing your fingers slowly in circles on his palm. It's a small action, but it works in removing some of his anxiety. He smiles at you and continues.

"I found lies shrouded in a heavy fog of secrets. Odin had been lying to me for so long- that I was adopted and not his true child. It compelled me to find answers about myself, and when I did, life took a turn for the worst. My whole history unravelled in front of my very hands in the form of Odin, who explained to me my true nature. That I, Loki of Asgard, supposed God of Lies and Mischief, was, in fact, a frost giant that Odin saved during a battle when I was just a mere babe. The truth shocked me to my core, and Odin then cast me out, to never return to the place I once called home. Then Odin sentenced me to live on Midgard, or Earth as it's more commonly named here. After some time, I started to find women who had spirit. I wanted to crush that spirit so much, just like how Odin did to me. He crushed my soul, my entire being using his words, and I wanted others to suffer just as I did. That is why I lied so much. All I wanted was for you to accept me in your heart so I could hurt you. And I am sorry for attempting such a thing. All the things I did was with an end goal in mind- to hurt you, but then I caught feelings for you, darling. Genuine feelings. I never thought that it could happen. Not anymore, not after what Odin did. But I found you, and you light my heart, show me something other than lies and darkness, and I took that for granted.

"I'm back now because I want to make things right with you. I want to show you my true self, and I want to see myself with you for however long we live. I've realised the terribleness of my actions, and I am ready to face any consequence you may have for me. I'm ready to make things right with you," Loki ends with watery eyes. Is he going to cry? You take him into a hug, one that lets out all your emotions. You want to grieve for him, you do, but find that you are incapable.

"I'm sorry, Loki," you whisper into his shoulder, "but I don't know if I can forgive you." You lean back and take his hands into yours, staring intensely at them as if they were the only thing in the world. Loki flinches like your words were a physical attack on him. He must have expected you to take him back with open arms- but you couldn't, not after what he had done to you. You didn't forgive easily, and you weren't about to start changing your habits just for a man (well, God).

"I... see," Loki tightens his grip on your hands, but you don't mind. He swallows, and you see his Adam's apple bob, and you know that he knows your reasoning. If he were in your position, he wouldn't have taken someone back so quickly either.

"I think maybe you should go for now," you loosen your grip on his hands and stand up, walking towards the door. Loki sees your intentions and sighs but doesn't argue.

"I'll be back. You'll see, darling- I'll make things right." He catches you off guard and quickly presses a kiss on your cheek before letting himself out. You hold your hand where he kissed you, a meek smile showing on your face. Maybe he wouldn't be so bad after all. You were surprised with Loki's willingness to change, and you think that maybe, just maybe, he does love you.

Maybe, just maybe, he wants to make things right.

You couldn't help but smile for the rest of the day. 

Loki 

He wouldn't call it a success, but he wouldn't call it a fail either. He had gotten to you, he could feel it- small tendrils of what can be are running around in your mind as of this moment, and he was grateful. Though Loki did know that his small unannounced trip had not been enough. Far from it, in fact. 

It was a quality that Loki admired in you. Stubbornness. Never in a million years would you be won over like that, with only a few words and a loving look. You desired more than that. You wanted to be treated to akin a queen, and Loki was more than happy to give that to you. If you would give in, he would love you better than anyone else. Better than any mere mortal. 

The word mortal then made him think. You were a Midgardian, not blessed with the lengthy life of your Asgardian counterparts. Loki would have to find a way to grant you near-immortality, so you would not be ripped from him so soon. There was only one item that would grant that- an apple of Idun. 

But how was he to get one? Apples of Idun were only given to Asgardians. 

Loki then shook his head. What was he thinking? He was the God of Mischief and Lies, and absolute master of illusions and magic. He could steal one. Idun wouldn't even have to know. 

Loki grinned. He'd get you that apple, even if he almost died trying to accomplish it. 

But first, he would have to find a way back into Asgard. Maybe Heimdall could possibly help him with that.