fly to the time of day//simon basset

nine

I sit outside on the swing smoking once more. Benedict joins me once again. Without him having to say anything I hand my cigarette over to him. I pull out ripped up pieces of paper from my pocket.

"I found these in the fireplace," I tell him.

"Are you spying on me now?" Benedict teases.

I laugh. "Dear brother, you'd actually have to be interesting for me to bother spying on you."

"The drawings in that sketchbook were abominable," Benedict insists. "I could not stand to look at them."

"I believe that is why they call it a sketchbook," I tell him. "It must be very difficult to want something and not be able to get it."

"Beatrice..." Benedict starts.

"If you enjoy drawing but need practice, then practice. Hire a drawing master. Find a young lady to act impressed. If you desire the sun and the moon, all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky," I tell him. "Some of us cannot. Look no further than Lady Whistledown. She possesses a huge talent for writing, and yet she must hide away and publish under a false name."

"Yes, because if anyone knew who Whistledown truly was, she'd be strung up for what she said," Benedict says.

"That is not my point, Benedict," I tell him. "Whistledown is a woman, therefore she has nothing, and still she writes. You're a man, therefore you have everything. You are able to do whatever you want. So do it. Be bold."

"Is that why you do not wish to remarry?" Benedict asks. "You do not wish to lose the freedoms that come with your statues as a widow?"

"If I am ever to remarry, brother, just know that it will be for love. Not for another reason," I assure.

Daphne has gone out with the Duke this afternoon. I am surprised when I hear her come rushing through the front door.

"Did something happen, miss?" Rose asks. Daphne does not answer. "Miss? Miss?"

"Leave me be, Rose," Daphne tells her.

I do not bother to knock on Daphne's door before entering her room. She is crying on her bed.

"What has happened?" I ask.

"The Duke," Daphne states.

I sit down beside her. "What about the Duke?"

"He has decided that we have gone through with our little ruse long enough. I now have a bevy of suitors and he has been afforded relief from mamas and daughters alike," Daphne explains.

"Maybe it is for the better, Daph," I offer.

"How?" Daphne questions.

"You know the Duke does not wish to marry. Now you can focus on suitors who will propose. Who want to marry you including the Prince," I reason.

"But what if I want the Duke?" Daphne asks.

I look at her for a moment unsure of what to say. I know that the Duke does not wish to marry her and the worst thing that can happen is them ending up in a loveless marriage.

"I do not think that is really what you want, Daph. I think what you really want is love. And for now you think the Duke is the one who will give it to you but he will not," I tell her.

"I think I would like to be alone," Daphne tells me.

I nod my head. "Of course."

I find Anthony in his office. "You shall be pleased to know that the Duke has told Daphne he wants nothing more to do with her."