Callie's POV
I had really done it this time. Pissed off my mom's to an unwanted extent. I had never pushed them that far and this was just the beginning of more lies to come.
Talk about trying to get off their radar, but after leaving the office I was in deeper even worse than when I started. In over my head. But my head was even more confused on what I was feeling. And I think that's why I got this idea, to gain control over my own thoughts.
My mind flashed back to earlier in the bathroom before Stef had found me. There I stood with the blade in my hand, hovering just inches above the skin of my wrist. I saw the old mark still a little visible from two weeks earlier after Stef had accidentally dropped a plate. I knew the previous injury was healed and Stef wouldn't bother to look at it let alone clean it because it was basically healed. That rush of uncertainty I was feeling right now, that is what made me want to do what I was about to do.
What scared me even more is I hadn't even ripped the blade across my skin, yet I felt so... something that I couldn't even explain.
That's when I knew it would happen. That I wanted it to happen. No more doubting. With my heart seeming to beat at an uncomfortable pace, I found I couldn't stop myself from what I was about to do. The blade crept closer to my skin before I felt its cool touch. A chill ran through my body, but also excitement raided me at the same time. How could doing something so bad feel so rewarding.
I pressed the piece of metal a little harder into my skin, but not enough to where it would open it. I wouldn't have to worry about any students coming in because I knew for a fact I was the only one out of class when I should have been. I realized at that moment, getting sent down to mamas office was the least of my worries.
A textbook didn't mean much to me compared to the teacher and I was hoping Lena would see that too. My mind filled with lies I could come up with. A whole elaborate yet unnerving plan was made in my mind.
It would just be one cut I told myself still feeling the heaviness of the blade sinking further more into my skin. Why hadn't I actually drug it across yet? No, this would work. If anyone saw it which I had no plans of that, I would say it's a random scrape or something like that.
My mind scrambled to think of more solutions but something else took over, realization. Realization that I had made a mark. Another realization being I had heard someone else open the door to the bathroom.
Suddenly I was consumed with regret, and panic. And it uncertainly didn't ease up once I heard who it was.
I saw my bag quickly being snatched up by the woman on the other side of the stall and realization set in when I heard her distinct stern voice.
She asked me why I was out of class. She wasn't stupid both her and I knew that. But I needed to play dumb right now for some reason. Even though I knew instantly who it was, I still asked the question. Playing dumb, remember?
"Stef?" I replied all while trying to as calm as I could. I had a few issues in front of me.
I realized I had messed up bad forgetting Stef was coming in for lunch with Lena today. She obviously ended up arriving earlier and I assumed she saw me dip into the bathrooms. Why hadn't I been more vigilant. I felt dumb but I would continue to play dumb to gain time.
Stef had taken my bag. Luckily the blade was no longer in my bag, I couldn't have imagined how that would go down. Except I faced an even bigger issue, yes Stef was a major one and she blew up my plans. But I had already acted on my plan and had to act even more fast with what I did next without being suspicious.
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𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗠𝗮𝗱𝗲
FanfictionThis story involves Callie struggling with self harm. Her family will be there every step of the way to help her get through these new unknown feelings. (A lot of similar things happened to me that are in this story. The things I write about how the...