𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎

4. 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲

Callie's POV

I had really done it this time. Pissed off my mom's to an unwanted extent. I had never pushed them that far and this was just the beginning of more lies to come. Talk about trying to get off their radar, but after leaving the office I was in deeper even worse than when I started. In over my head. But my head was even more confused on what I was feeling. And I think that's why I got this idea, to gain control over my own thoughts.

My mind flashed back to earlier in the bathroom before Stef had found me. There I stood with the blade in my hand, hovering just inches above the skin of my wrist. I saw the old mark still a little visible from two weeks earlier after Stef had accidentally dropped a plate. I knew the previous injury was healed and Stef wouldn't bother to look at it let alone clean it because it was basically healed. That rush of uncertainty I was feeling right now, that is what made me want to do what I was about to do.

What scared me even more is I hadn't even ripped the blade across my skin, yet I felt so... something that I couldn't even explain.

That's when I knew it would happen. That I wanted it to happen. No more doubting. With my heart seeming to beat at an uncomfortable pace, I found I couldn't stop myself from what I was about to do. The blade crept closer to my skin before I felt its cool touch. A chill ran through my body, but also excitement raided me at the same time. How could doing something so bad feel so rewarding.

I pressed the piece of metal a little harder into my skin, but not enough to where it would open it. I wouldn't have to worry about any students coming in because I knew for a fact I was the only one out of class when I should have been. I realized at that moment, getting sent down to mamas office was the least of my worries.

A textbook didn't mean much to me compared to the teacher and I was hoping Lena would see that too. My mind filled with lies I could come up with. A whole elaborate yet unnerving plan was made in my mind.

It would just be one cut I told myself still feeling the heaviness of the blade sinking further more into my skin. Why hadn't I actually drug it across yet? No, this would work. If anyone saw it which I had no plans of that, I would say it's a random scrape or something like that.

My mind scrambled to think of more solutions but something else took over, realization. Realization that I had made a mark. Another realization being I had heard someone else open the door to the bathroom.

Suddenly I was consumed with regret, and panic. And it uncertainly didn't ease up once I heard who it was.

I saw my bag quickly being snatched up by the woman on the other side of the stall and realization set in when I heard her distinct stern voice.

She asked me why I was out of class. She wasn't stupid both her and I knew that. But I needed to play dumb right now for some reason. Even though I knew instantly who it was, I still asked the question. Playing dumb, remember?

"Stef?" I replied all while trying to as calm as I could. I had a few issues in front of me.

I realized I had messed up bad forgetting Stef was coming in for lunch with Lena today. She obviously ended up arriving earlier and I assumed she saw me dip into the bathrooms. Why hadn't I been more vigilant. I felt dumb but I would continue to play dumb to gain time.

Stef had taken my bag. Luckily the blade was no longer in my bag, I couldn't have imagined how that would go down. Except I faced an even bigger issue, yes Stef was a major one and she blew up my plans. But I had already acted on my plan and had to act even more fast with what I did next without being suspicious.

I heard my mom ask a question but I didn't really hear it with my mind feeling fogged over. Plus trying to come up with quick thinking while a trickle of blood now seeped through the open wound wasn't the easiest of tasks. I had caused this and I had a plan on how to get myself out of it as I found myself still with the blade being tightly clutched in my right hand. In one swift move on my end, I shoved the blade into the side of my bra before quickly rolling my sleeve back down. I was praying it wouldn't seep through my clothes but I had a feeling it wouldn't since I had a dark top on. I hadn't even planned on wearing it, as I had grabbed the blade last minute this morning.