nude • taekook [English]

Chapter 15

JIMIN stares at his face like he's memorizing every mole that Taehyung has, but the truth is that he cannot find words to speak to him when he heard those words from his best friend.

"W-what?"

"You heard everything right."

"How? What do you mean Seokjin didn't reject you? And you did? I don't understand, Tae. You've been crying to me because of how to hurt his rejection was. And... even Seokjin admitted that. So, what- what are you saying?" Jimin asked and he's still holding his spoon while leaning against the table.

Taehyung covers his face and trying to think how can he explained him the truth to him because it has been years since the last memory he had in Seokjin that made his first heartbreak.

"Hyung has been so kind to me and he's the boyfriend material that everyone dreamed of. And you know how much I admired and liked him for years, Chim." Taehyung tells the story and continues, making Jimin understand, "... He buys me stuff and took me to dinner sometimes, he's the coolest man I've met. He even paid my electrical bills once and it made me angry. But as days had gone by, I realized that I've fallen for him while keeping my condition hidden. Because who would like me, right?" Taehyung looks down and fidgeting his fingers without even touching his food.

Jimin looks at him and understanding every word that he's saying, he heard every story before and maybe, repeating those memories he made with Seokjin would make Jimin understand it more.

"I got scared. I'm thinking that, if I open my heart to someone and... bring him into my life, which includes my whole self, my past life, how my childhood was, no one would understand and accept me, Jimin. I mean, you are different because we've been together for years and you understood my situation compared to others. We are gays, so, definitely, you would understand. However, in hyung's case, it's different." Taehyung says and wets his lower lip, trying to process the story that he will tell to Jimin.

"I know he's straight. But when he confessed to me how he felt the same way, I was so happy, you don't know how much it made me happy. I'm so overwhelmed that every part of me felt pain. Because, I know that even if I accept it, what would happen? I can't even get someone to touch me. It's different when I'm the one who initiates. I rejected him, Jimin, on that night when I had my nightmare again, I rejected him." Taehyung adds and looks over his plate.

Taehyung didn't cry. He just felt so bad about making Hyung felt so guilty and bad for himself. Because Taehyung turned the tables and blamed Seokjin for everything.

"Tae." Jimin softly says.

"... then, Hyung and I had a drink, it was after I rejected him because he couldn't believe in everything that I've said to him. So, he challenged me. We had a drink and, while he's drunk, I opened his phone and set up the rejection that he had on me. Just to make him avoid me."

"I didn't know." Jimin says and looks down on the floor, "I'm sorry."

"Hyung texted me and called many times, but I ignored it. Until he found me working at the bar, and since he and Yoongi were friends, I don't have a choice but to see him again. Until now, I felt so bad about it. Because I was a coward and foolish." Taehyung says.

The bell rings indicating that it's time to go, and their class will start soon. Jimin pats his back and says, "Tae, I understand and I won't judge you or Seokjin. But, I am your friend here, so, I want you to do the best thing."

"I know."

"You need to meet him."

Taehyung looks at him and he knew that it's his fault, he doesn't want anyone carrying his blame, so that is why he wants to take this opportunity to make things right.

"YOU NEED TO MEET SEOKJIN."

Taehyung quickly looks at Jimin who is laughing by himself and turns his head because Jungkook is just behind them and walking towards the counter while bringing his tray back.

"Park Jimin," Taehyung says in a deep voice which left Jimin laughing for more.

•••

[Shit. I forgot about the schedule today. And it's our club day. It means, Jungkook is here and we are partners.] Taehyung thought as he's already seated in their usual seats.

When Jungkook came in, he's about to wave at him, but forgot that they are on good terms. Taehyung can't even look at him straight in his eyes. Jungkook sits beside him, and the professor came inside, starting the class.

"We've been understanding the human body and how it affects our mind in every aspect of our daily lives. Now, let's dig deeper into it and close our eyes..." The professor says.

[Great.] Taehyung sarcastically thought and closes his eyes.

"Now, think about yourself naked."

[How amazing is this?] He thought once more.

"Then, think about someone naked. But don't put malice on it. Please. Let's concentrate on this. Think about someone who you think is a perfect example of art." She says.

[Think about someone. Think about art. Then why do I think about Jungkook's body all of a sudden? But I don't even saw his naked body, it's just... imagining it. He has a big body and abs, and all. Fuck. I don't want to put malice on it. No malice. I mean, Jungkook is like a little brother to me. I should think about that more.] Taehyung says, panicking and moving his legs, alternating it and crossing together.

"Alright. Now, open your eyes." The professor says and everyone is quiet, it's like they didn't do anything and they are acting professionally about this. Taehyung who is known for being noisy in his class became quiet. Even the professor is waiting for him to say something but ignored it once he didn't.

"We all know that everyone and every part of our body is an art, but sometimes, people tend to forget how to appreciate themselves. Now, we need to appreciate the beauty of it, we have to dig deeper into our souls. And into the souls of others to better understand them. Because art is an expression and expresses how people perceive things in life. And art that shows how expressive our body is. Have you thought of wanting to wrap around your arms to someone without thinking of anything malice?" She asked and they agreed.

[Yes.]

"Have you ever expressed your emotions to someone because you are worried or concerned for them?" She asked again.

[Yes.]

"And have you ever expressed your emotions to someone without having to say a word?"

[Yes.]

"I think your answers to these questions are yes. Because our body can do anything that our soul wants us to perform or to long for, it can tell us so much more about its meaning than language can." The professor concludes.

Taehyung looks at the students surrounding them, and they all agreed with the professor and he thinks that this is the only lesson that he appreciated art. He learned a lot.

"Now, our topic today is nude." She says and looks around the class, checking if everyone is paying attention. Then looks at Taehyung, which he raises an eyebrow.

"Mr. Kim, tell me if you see a nude person what would be your expression?" She asked.

[Why does it always me? I mean, I'm not even saying anything or doing naughty. What are we, high school?] He thought and he just made an expression where everyone laughed.

"Right. Prepared your nude painting for me with Mr. Jeon here, alright?" The professor sarcastically lectured him, and Taehyung just sighs.

[Now, how would I do this with him?]

•••