The secret - an Evansson story

2

~September 2009~
The woman collapsed into the seat of her car, resting her head against the steering wheel. Everything felt so unreal, almost as if her whole life was only a dream. Her tears flowed uncontrollably as she sat in her best friends driveway, not wanting to go home.

What would Ryan say? She thought as she lifted her head from the steering wheel. She looked at herself in the rear view mirror, wiping the tears away.

The 24 year old made her way home and entered her house as if nothing happened. Quickly putting her things down on the small table beside the front door, she made her way down the hall to be met with the sight of her husband cooking dinner.

"Hey, I'm learning!" He laughed as he threw some diced onions into a sizzling pan. Scarlett gave him a small smile, too tired to move the muscles in her face anymore.

"I'm just gonna go rest for a little bit." She said, giving Ryan a kiss on the cheek. He nodded, rubbing her back as she dipped her pinky into a sauce that he put aside.

"You are learning." She smiled, dipping another finger in the delicious sauce before making her way upstairs.

__

That night, Scarlett lay awake with her husband sound asleep next to her. She stared intensely at the ceiling as if her whole life was replaying right there, projected on the ceiling, looking through her own eyes. Scarlett could see the pregnancy stick with the two pink lines, she could see the small bump that never grew as big as she thought, the doctors surrounding her, the baby, the papers she signed.

As quietly as possible, the woman rolled out of bed, careful to not wake her husband, and made her way to the bathroom.

Splashing cold water on her face, she tried to get the memories to stop replaying in her mind. It was all too much. Every memory throughout her pregnancy continued to flash in front of her eyes, blinding her from the real world.

Never before in the last six years has she felt so overwhelmed by this one child, who she's only met once for a brief minute. She refused to think it was true, refused to believe she birthed a child. And now that Chris knew, it was starting to feel real.

Suddenly, she could hear a muffled ringing coming from the bedroom. Quickly walking back into the bedroom to grab her phone, still careful to not wake Ryan, she answered it.

"Chris, why are you up?" She whispered into the phone as she made her way downstairs into the kitchen. She noticed the time and sighed. 4:07am. She really should be asleep but it's no use now.

"I couldn't sleep, what's your excuse?" He asked and Scarlett let out a long sigh which answered his question perfectly.

"I was debating on telling you this or not." He started, sounding skeptical.

"Okay, what is it?" She asked eagerly.

"I need you to come with me." He said suddenly after a long pause. "To meet-"

"No."

"Scarlett, please." He begged.

"I can't meet her."

"Why not?" He was getting mad again and Scarlett couldn't do anything to make him feel calmer.

"I-I just can't." Scarlett said quietly. "I can't face her, she'll ask me why and I-"

"Scarlett, she's six." Chris reminded her in a much calmer tone.

Scarlett let out a big sigh as a tear fell. God, why was she so emotional over this. She's never cried over this child, not once.

"Chris, I don't know." She whispered.

"At least meet the lady who texted me." Chris asked as Scarlett gave it thought.

Maybe he just needed her for mental support, after all, Chris had no idea he had a child lurking around in this world.

"Is she going to bring the kid?" Scarlett asked.

"No." Chris said matter of factly.

He honestly didn't know if the woman would bring the child or not. But he needed Scarlett there and he couldn't risk her not coming.

"Alright." She sighed. "But as soon as you leave to see the kid, I'm going home."

Chris sighed and reluctantly agreed. Although, he knew Scarlett's mind wasn't in the right place. It didn't seem like her to just completely ignore the fact that she had a child.

The two hung up just as Scarlett sat down at the kitchen island and placed the phone face down on the counter.

With her head in her hands, she closed her eyes tightly, trying so hard to keep her emotions at bay.

Suddenly a hand was placed on her back and she jumped out of her seat, her breathing rapid.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Ryan apologized quickly as he pulled his wife into a warm and comforting hug, kissing the top of her head. She didn't object, but the hug was not comforting at all.

"Hey what's wrong?" He asked in a whisper as he felt her body shake in his arms. She looked up at him with her glossy green orbs and shook her head.

"I-I..." It was almost as if someone was holding her tongue, forcing her to not say a thing. "I don't know."

She couldn't tell Ryan. At least not now.