The secret - an Evansson story

10

~September 2009~
The six year old held Scarlett's hand, but shyly stayed behind the woman's legs as they walked up the pathway to the brownstone apartment that towered over them.

Before the two reached the front door, an older woman appeared with a big smile, not noticing the child hiding behind Scarlett.

"Hi mom." Scarlett trembled, holding onto Aleah's hand tighter with nervousness.

The older woman stared into her daughters green eyes, which gave away the guilt and fear Scarlett felt.

It wasn't long until the woman suspected something. Her eyes lowered, noticing little pink sneakers behind her daughter.

"Who's this?" She asked, coming closer to the two. Scarlett pulled Aleah out from behind her, the little girl clinging to her side as the older woman knelt down to the 6 year old's height.

"This is Aleah." Scarlett gulped. "My daughter." Her hands became clammy as she awaited her mother's reaction.

She watched her mother analyze Aleah's face, tears balancing on the very edge of her eye.

"Aleah, this is Melanie." Scarlett said, still holding onto the girl's hand. "Your grandma."

"You had a kid?" She asked in disbelief. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I-I was seventeen, I was scared." Scarlett began. "I didn't know what to do, or how to even tell you. I gave her up but there was an accident and...I-I'm sorry."

Melanie stood up to face her daughter, anger could be seen in her eyes, but she kept calm.

"Is Chris the father?" She asked gently, already knowing the answer.

Scarlett nodded, tears threatening to fall when all of a sudden she felt herself being pulled into her mother's embrace.

"I'm sorry you had to go through it alone." Her mother's soft voice consoled her, stroking her hair as Scarlett continued to hold onto Aleah's hand as well.

"Mom, I don't know what to do anymore." Scarlett sobbed into her mother's shoulder.

Melanie retracted from the hug, holding onto her daughters shoulders and staring intensely into her bright green orbs.

"Ryan kicked me out, I still need to enroll Aleah into school, Chris is in a hotel...Everything feels like it's falling apart." Scarlett continued to sob to her mother, feeling the weight of the new responsibilities that has been put on her.

"I know, sweetie." Melanie said, guiding Scarlett into the house with Aleah still clinging to her side.

Scarlett sat down on the couch in the living room, trying to calm herself while Melanie took Aleah's hand.

"Is Scarlett okay?" Aleah asked gently as Melanie brought her upstairs.

Melanie was taken aback by the child using her daughters name, instead of mama.

"She'll be fine." She explained. "She's just overwhelmed right now."

Melanie brought the six year old into a bedroom that contained two twin beds on either side of the room. Both beds were neatly made with an old worn out stuffed animal to finish the look.

"This used to be your mom's room." Melanie said as she watched the child jump onto the bed that sat on the right side of the room. Scarlett's bed.

Aleah picked up a gray and white stuffed koala that sat on the bed.

"I like this one!" Aleah exclaimed excitedly as she hugged the stuffed animal.

"That was your mama's." Melanie smiled. She still couldn't believe her youngest daughter had a child at such a young age and never told her, but it warmed her heart to see a little six year old running around again.

Scarlett joined the two upstairs in her old bedroom as soon as she calmed herself down. She stood in the doorway next to Melanie, watching the six year old wonder around the room and looking at all the different things.

"Tell me the truth, Scarlett." Melanie started, keeping her voice at a low whisper so Aleah couldn't hear her. "Do you see yourself as her mother?"

Scarlett hesitated, watching the child look through her desk.

"Mom, it's complicated." She said finally just as Aleah sat down at the desk and began drawing something.

"It's not, you gave that kid life. Whether you like it or not, she is your responsibility." Melanie informed.

Scarlett raised her hand to her temple, knowing where this was going.

"You probably feel anger toward her, right?" Melanie asked, which caused Scarlett's head to turn toward her mother. "Because you had to go through your pregnancy alone at such a young age?"

Scarlett was amazed at how her mother guessed it. She didn't want to admit it, she couldn't. Instead she looked down at the ground as if inspecting a new scratch on the floor.

"You did that to yourself. You chose to keep it a secret and do it alone. She is six years old, she has no idea why you distance yourself." Melanie continued to try and make her daughter understand, but all it did was make Scarlett feel like complete shit.

"She distances herself too." Scarlett protested but Melanie shook her head.

"She's copying you, she's trying to gain her mother's love." Melanie stated before the little girl came running over to them.

"Scarlett look!" She exclaimed, holding out a piece of paper.

The 24 year old's heart melted at the drawing Aleah made. It was mostly stick figures, but quite good for a six year old. She definitely gets that from her father.

The picture contained Scarlett and Chris holding hands with Aleah who was in the middle. There was a house in the background and the sun at the right hand corner of the paper.

"It's really good, I love it." Scarlett praised, smiling wide. Melanie patted her daughter on the back, knowing Scarlett was going to be a great mother if she just gave it a chance.

__

The three of them sat at the kitchen table talking while they ate dinner. Aleah immediately started chowing down her chicken as soon as Scarlett had finished cutting it into bite size pieces.

"...If you're gonna be here for a while, there's the elementary school you used to go to." Melanie informed Scarlett as they tried to figure out where to send the six year old to school.

Scarlett kept eyeing the child, making sure she won't choke as she continued to shovel the food into her mouth.

"Yeah, I might send her there. It's gonna be a while until I can find a house." The 24 year old said, taking a bite from her own plate.

"Aleah slow down." Melanie instructed.

Aleah nodded and placed her fork down, chewing what was left in her mouth before swallowing.

"Chris is looking for an apartment too, but I don't know if he'd be willing to let me stay there." Scarlett continued the conversation between her and her mother.

"You and Aleah are welcome here as long as you need..." Melanie said, her voice trailing off.

The six year old could feel her tongue tingling as her breath became shallow. Her heart rate was picking up speed as the room started to spin.

The 24 year old could hear Aleah struggling, looking over she noticed the little girl's bright green eyes become glossy with tears.

"Aleah?" Scarlett questioned worriedly. "What's wrong?"