Spartan OC Red vs Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles (On Hiatus)

A Slightly Crueler Cruller

Donut stands on top of Red Base in pink armor.

Donut: Dude, this is sweet! Command was so happy that I got the Blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!

Grif Matthew and Simmons look at each other.

Grif: Uh... hey, Donut?

Donut: What?

Simmons: Um, about your armor...

Donut: What about it?

Simmons: How do I put this... Your armor is, um... It's a little, um... Grif, uh, you wanna help me out here?

Grif: It's pink. Your armor is frickin' pink!

Simmons: Yeah, that's it. Pink.

Donut: Pink? My armor's not pink!

Matthew: (smirks) Yeah it is.

Grif: PINK.

Simmons: Yeah, definitely pink.

Donut: You guys are color-blind. Why would they give me pink armor?

Matthew: (laughs) Either it's more appropriate for you or they just ran out of other colors.

Grif: Hey, don't ask, don't tell.

Simmons: (over Grif's laughter) Heh, that's not funny.

Grif: (laughs a little more) It's a little funny.

Donut: Look at it, it's not pink. It's like, uh.. a "lightish red".

Grif: Guess what? They already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's called? Pink.

Donut: I hate you guys.

Matthew: Feelings mutual.

Sarge: (running up the ramp with Lopez in tow) Well morning, ladies. (Looks at Matthew and salutes) Sir!

Matthew: At ease, Sergeant.

Sarge: ...and a fine hello to you, madam.

Donut: It's LIGHT red.

Sarge: Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie. Do you have a package for me?

Donut: Yes sir.

Sarge: Excellent.

Donut: (holding up a mechanical unit) They said this speech unit should work with Lopez.

Grif: Speech unit?

Donut: (handing the unit over to Sarge) Here you go.

Sarge: Affirmative. Command was fresh out of speech modules when I started building Lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to. ...No offense, Simmons and Matthew.