The long, beautiful white dress felt as emotionally heavy on her body as it did physically with each step down the isle she took.
"White is a virgins color."
Her inner guilt plagued her, these feelings suddenly intensified by the holy feeling of standing inside of a church.
She forced herself to focus only on Simon, before her guilt wracked and still slightly hungover brain could even grace the memory of Iolas's hands on her body just last night.
What had she been thinking kissing him like that, or rather, not thinking?
She let out a small exhale of relief when she took her place beside him, her flushed face hidden from him by the veil.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." The vicar launched into his speech, but not for a lack trying, Adelaide could not entirely pay attention. The sensation that something was amis flooded her, and her thoughts soon began to crush out his booming voice.
I should be happy, over the moon actually. She thought.
The war was over, her beloved, a man who had claimed to love her since childhood, was practically back from the dead. Miraculously and against all odds, Simon was standing here by her side. The Barbarians were locked away, and had already begun to pay for their war crimes, and her people were once again safe.
After explaining the legal bonds of marriage, the Vicar next began to speak of love and devotion, and for the first time since entering, Adelaide looked up at Simon. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn't really caught his eyes, but when she looked into his big blue eyes, blonde stray hairs framing them, instead of warm memories of love, and its experiences that they had shared, she found herself glossing over an entirely different set altogether.
Instead of their first meeting as children, where he had practically ran her over in the royal stables while carrying a stack of hay much to large for his 10 year old arms, she saw flashes of of red hair gleaming in the sun Iolas first stepped onto the shores of Aelford, and how her heart had caught in her throat the first time she had lain eyes on the devilishly handsome Prince.
Where she should have been seeing Simon kissing her for the first time, she instead was swept with memories of being unceremoniously carried back to her room after exhausting herself.
Instead of the happy moments she'd shared with the handsome, kind man beside her, she could only think about everything she had shared with another, even the sad and painful memories. Being comforted in the arms of my mortal enemy as she finally broke down from loss. The fear she felt as he threw himself at impossible odds just to keep her alive and protect her honor. The pain she'd allowed herself to share with him, and him with her. But it wasn't just fear, empathy and pain that they had shared. There was an incredible passion as well.
Her mind raced to that night they had shared together, the one that made her feel guilty for wearing this white dress.
The Iolas she knew now isn't the man she had first met. He wasn't a greedy, spoiled boy, he was a man, and a good one at that. The way he had gently taken her, swearing his love and devotion to her the whole time, and binding himself to her honor; he was no longer just nobility, but actually noble. Not just a officer, but a warrior and leader. He had changed. Though still as arrogant as ever, this arrogance was now mirrored by compassion and honor. He had changed, and watching him him change had changed her.
The loss of what little family she had had ruined her. Took everything from me that made her Adelaide. Her innocence and naivety, the sunshine and roses outlook on life that she knew in her heart was Simon's favorite thing about her.
She closed her eyes and gripped Simon's hand tighter. Waiting for that familer warmth to shake all these traitorous thoughts away, to reassure her of her incredible love for him.
He loved me. Before the war, before any of this chaos. He loved me.
But to her suprise, his hand felt only lukewarm.
"Into which estate these persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man or woman can show any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let them now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold their peace."
She opened her eyes to look at him and in that brief pause, that short moment of perfect silence in the church. The Queen was struck with a crushing realization. The girl he had fallen in love with, that girl was gone.
This wasn't fair to him.
Here he stood willing to give up his whole life and serve dutifully and wholeheartedly at her side when she couldn't do the same? She was not the girl she knew he loved before, the girl she knew he needed. Sweet, and innocent. That girl was killed in the war. Honestly, she couldn't even give him her whole heart, which is the very bare minimum to ask for in a marriage. Here she stood, literally at the alter having thoughts about another man. Her hand in his, yet she was yearning for red hair and arrogance, fire, passion and childlike over dramatization. How could she spend a sweet, quiet life with this good natured man when she wanted to be annoyed by another until the point she considered violence.
True it would be so unfair to break his heart, to leave him hear at the alter, particularly after he had loved her so long, and had done so much for her, but the true crime would be to love him half-heartedly. He deserved better.
Perhaps it was her time to be the evil dragon of the story.
"I...." Her voice came out shaky and course, barley legible throughout the huge cathadrel. So much guilt ransacked her for what she was about to do, choking her to the point that she could barely speak, but she knew she had to, or forever hold her peace.
She swallowed hard, gently removing her hand from her betrothed.
"I object."
YOU ARE READING
A Thorn In The Ice
历史小说"I fully expected you to say that I was the sort of Prince whose story would involve going into cahoots with the dragon, rather than slaying it." Iolas smiled, but their was a level of seriousness to his statement. "That is where you are wrong, de...
