dirty thoughts and sweet feelings - larry johnson x female reader

chapter 2 - chapstick and cigarettes

A/N: This chapter makes mention of abuse and panic attacks. If those trigger you, I'd advise you to not read on further. But if you still want to know what happens in this chapter, i'm more than happy to give you a summary in the comments! :)

Word count: 5647

Your P.O.V

Black. Black is all I could see. I darted my eyes around the deep abyss to find help, security, comfort, anything. Yet, It was just me. Me standing alone in this dead silent void. Suddenly, I heard footsteps. They were heavy like angry stomps. They sounded like his. My hands began to quiver as I had no idea where his footsteps were coming from so I couldn't shield myself from whatever he was plotting to do to me this time. The footsteps grew into fast sprints. I decided to scream out for help. The man causing the footsteps still wasn't anywhere to be found though I felt like he would appear any second. I yelled for help into the endless pit I was swallowed in through my snotty tears while the rapid, inhuman footsteps echoed all around me like some sick joke to scare me. Then, it stopped. Not slowed down, but stopped. Like the man running just disappeared. I felt like there was a presence behind where I was standing, yet I couldn't move. I couldn't even lift a muscle. Then, he put his hand on my shoulder firmly, grasping it hard enough to bruise. "Thought you could get rid of me, huh?" he chuckled a threat like a sadistic in my ear, making me tense up. Then, I woke up.

I shot up from where I was laying, panting heavily with copious amounts of sweat trailing down the skin of my face. I was still in Larry's apartment. Before I knew it, tears began streaming out of my eyes uncontrollably like a waterfall. I sobbed loudly into my palm. I thought the dreams of him would stop, I thought things were getting better. Was that dream a sign he was coming back for me?

Suddenly, Larry came bursting out of his bedroom door with an expression like he's seen a ghost. It looked like I just woke him up too, as his hair was a little scruffy here and there and the only thing covering the entirety of his body was a red pair of boxers. He paced over to me and sat down next to me in a hurry.

"No, no, no...Y/N, what's wrong?" He asked with pure fear in his voice. I held him close like he was the only thing left to me as I bawled into his shoulder. Well, realistically speaking, Larry was all I had right now. He rubbed my back gently with the tips of his fingers to ease my sobbing.

"I...I had a n-nightmare...I-" I struggled to breathe through my overwhelming sobs, I felt a panic attack approaching, which he caught on to that.

"Shhh...You don't have to explain yourself, sweetheart. Just breathe with me, okay? Can you do that for me?" He lowered his head that was resting gently on top of mine to look deep into my eyes. The sight of his own eyes began to calm me in itself, yet I nodded.

He inhaled deeply, making hand gestures implying he wants me to to the same, which I did. I inhaled deeply through my slightly blocked nose and held it for a few seconds, waiting for Larry to exhale so I could follow up with the same.

Eventually, he exhaled all the air he desperately sucked into his lungs through his mouth, which I did after him. The tears pouring from my eye sockets eventually slowed down streaming, until they stopped completely after taking a few breaths with him. I felt more content, and that tight feeling in my chest was now non existent. Normally when I have panic attacks, I suffer through them myself, and end up smoking a cigarette and downing a few glasses of whiskey in hopes it would ease me. So, having someone actually help me through it was refreshing.

"Thank you, Larry..." The corners of my mouth curled up into a soft smile. I cant remember the last time I had support like that. It was a rare feeling to me, in which getting that support from my favourite person right now made me feel happy. Happier than i've been in a while.