BatIM Steps of the Survivor

Chapter Twenty-Three

(Content warning for: Hospitals, but really only at the end)

Ethan Hunt let out a long sigh into the distance as he felt the dregs of hope in his chest beginning to sink once again. No luck for what felt like the millionth time. The place Maybell went really must be obscure if even now, six months later, he still couldn't find a single trace of where she had gone. In fact, no one had made heads or tails of where his sister vanished off to, and even the hope he put up that she was still alright somewhere was beginning to sink into the abyss of despair, the thought of her never coming back...

No, I can't think that way. I need to have hope in my sister, even if everyone else has already given up. He quickly determined, shaking his head before any trace of sadness could noticeably set in. He shouldn't express such feelings anyway, his mother always told him that that'd chase people away from him, as no one liked seeing nothing but a sad sack all the time. He didn't want to push Jade and Boris away, he truly treasured their company, but since summer had come, he hadn't had contact with them, since he and Jade did not have each other's phone numbers.

"Ethan!" A familiar voice called, startling the teen out of his thoughts. His mother. "It's starting to get dark, come on inside."

"Coming mom!" He called in return before looking into the small patch of woods he had been searching one more time, the place Maybell always claimed that she loved to go after a long day to destress and be away from people for just a little while. She'd said there was this series of stumps that she'd always climb on like stairs, stumps that Ethan himself had never found. His sister wasn't anywhere to be seen either. With another breath, Ethan turned and followed the trail worn from many woodland adventures back to the cozy house he and his family called home.

"Took you long enough there, pumpkin!" Ethan's step-dad met him at the door and pulled him almost roughly into a tight hug, ruffling his hair with a fist. "What were you doing out there, kiddo?"

Ethan playfully swatted at the fist with one hand, holding his step-father's arm and trying to pull it away from him with the other. "Papa Ashton!" He playfully complained. "I was just... looking for Maybell again."

"Ethan..." His mother sighed in a mix of pity and disapproval. "You know how long she's been gone, if not even the police can find head or hide of where she's went, there's no way you could either. They're trained for this sort of thing, you're not. And there's basically no chance of her still being alive, anyway."

Ethan winced, looking back at his mother with something akin to desperation shining in his eyes. "I know, but I just can't give up! What would she think if she knew we all stopped looking?"

Ashton sighed. "I'm sure she'd understand, pumpkin, she may not even be around to be found anymore. I'm sure Little May would just want us to try to move on and live a happy-"

"Stop talking about her like she's dead! She can't be!" Ethan finally broke in with his interruption, feeling hot tears welling up in the corner of pained forest green eyes. "Don't you miss her? Why have you stopped believing in her?! Jade came back after months of being gone, May can too!"

The shocked looks from his parents finally registering to him sunk in what he had just done, and he quickly and furiously wiped his eyes to get rid of the lingering moisture before it escaped, desperate to follow his mother's advice. "... Sorry about that, I'll go and calm down." Before either of them could say anything, the teen turned and rushed to his room, closing the door behind him.

The vibrantly dark sky-blue walls did nothing to temper the brewing storm within that Ethan was mostly too scared to acknowledge. It had been just like when his father left without a trace. He felt so abandoned, so alone, so... hollow. And he was desperate to know why. Why couldn't he just settle this within himself? He hated feeling this sinking dread within, the one that threatened his ability to be the jolly teen his friends wanted to see. It was different from before now, though. He used to have Maybell to support him when she noticed that storm within him brewing too much, and her reassurance always helped him through the bad spells of being so unloved.