Chapter Twenty-one

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RIGHT about time things got spiced up x


Chapter Twenty-one

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D A N E

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What I was doing was wrong. It was sick and it was wrong but I couldn't stop myself. I knew she had text me her iCloud password once before and after hours of scrolling through our text messages I found it. NatEva15. She had asked me turn off two-factor authentication for her because it always stressed her out when she couldn't get in quickly enough. And I was glad that she did because it meant that I was in. She got an e-mail which I deleted and I was in.

What was I looking for? What was I doing? I couldn't stop myself. As much as I wanted to, once I started looking I couldn't stop. There were text messages, so many messages from her friends and colleagues. There were names I didn't recognise like Jada and Emille. Those conversations were pretty much benign. I didn't bother reading the conversations with her friends because I knew how much they'd kill me. That wasn't what I was interested in anyways.

She had fucked Malachi but they seemed to have stopped but who was Julian? She had ignored his last few messages but he was obviously flirting with her. Why had she even entertained him? Who was he? I needed to stop but I couldn't. I found him on instagram. Helpfully, he was the only Julian she knew. I shouldn't have done it. But I did.

He was everything she wanted. Everything I wasn't. I didn't feel pity, I felt fury. A rage that I couldn't control. A force that violently rushed through my whole body over and over again and no matter how hard I tried to calm it, I couldn't. I wouldn't.

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A L E X

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Two weeks had passed. I hadn't heard anything from Dane. It surprised me. I had expected to have him text me at least once but he didn't and although that should've been a good thing it hurt way more than it should have. Every now and then the realisation that what we had was gone sobered me up and I found myself either on the verge of tears or just deeply overwhelmed with intense sadness. I tried to distract myself. I tried going to the gym, meeting up with Shay, drowning myself with work but nothing seemed to help.

I missed him the most in the night time when I had nobody to talk to. I missed falling asleep next to him. I missed feeling safe in his arms and listening to his heart beat whilst I lay on his chest. Even after all the pain, I missed him. The girls were supportive. Abi was the best. Her breakup with Jordan meant that she knew exactly what I was going through and always knew exactly what to say. On the second week, she came up to see me and we went out for a few drinks at a moodily lit bar in town. It was nice to be out with her. It was nice to do my hair and makeup and to dress up and in all honestly, it did make me feel good. And I guess after two martinis my mood was a bit lighter.

"SO!" Abi started as she sipped on her third drink. "I haven't told you about Miguel."

I raised my eyebrow. "Miguel? As in Malachi's Miguel?"

"Mmmmm," she nodded with a devious grin on her face.

"I thought that was just a one time thing?" I asked genuinely surprised but ready to be entertained.

"That's what I thought, he smokes a lot of weed," she said with wide eyes.

"What's gone on?"

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