Hail The Apocalypse

Chapter 7: Metal Machine

We happily loped through Tundratown. After a few blocks, we arrived at the Tundratown Ice Center. I was wearing my black Sabaton vest so I looked like Joakim and camo Sabaton shorts. Nick was wearing a battle vest, ripped jeans, and a HammerFox t-shirt. Judy was wearing a Mercyful Fox t-shirt, a black spiky jacket a spiky hat, spiky cuffs, spiky pants, and spiky boots. We got in line for the sold out concert.

"I recognize all three of ya," said the Polar Bear scanning the tickets, "metalheads forever!"

"FUCK YEAH!" We all responded.

We got our wristbands and went onto the floor section. The Tundratown Ice Center is the third largest venue in the city, after the Sahara Amphitheater and the Zoo2 arena. Capacity for end stage concerts is just a bit about 12,000 if no side views are allowed and 14,000 if side views are allowed. Capacity for in the round is about 17,500. However, this show used the end-stage 180 configuration. The Tundratown Ice Center is home to the Tundratown Berserkers hockey team, but is also a pretty great concert venue. About 15 years back, it was renovated in order to host good concerts with good sound and good facilities for touring acts. It has some quite good sound quality for an arena (the sound at Zoo2 is still better though). There were two tiers of seating and few ga boxes, as well as the floor section. Curtains covered the closed off seats behind the stage.

Suddenly, we saw the Otterton family with their children. Emmitt was dressed exactly like Joakim and Viking was wearing an Otters of Metal shirt. Corey was wearing an Amaranthe t-shirt and Piper was still wearing a soccer uniform.

"What's up my dudes," Viking said.

"Going to this concert for beating those fucking Slammerjams," I said.

"Same with us," Emmitt replied.

"And we are doing the same," said another voice. I turned around and saw Finnick and Duke Weaselton. Finnick was wearing a Korpiklaani t-shirt and Duke was wearing an Iron Marten shirt.

"This will fucking rip!" Duke shouted.

"Oh hell yeah it will," I replied.

The first band of the night to play was Amaranthe. They came on to a stellar performance of "Fearless" and continued for about 45 minutes. Elize, Nils, and GG6 used their triple-vocalist attack to mesmerize and maximize the crowd. Elize was looking exactly like Viking Otterton, while GG6 looked like kinda Nick Wilde and Nils looked like Duke Weaselton. They also played "Digital World" which got us right in the mosh pit, before closing their explosive set with "Drop Dead Cynical".

"Holy fucking shit!" I shouted, "another band to check off my bucket list."

"Finally," Nick said.

"That was one of the best opening sets I've ever seen!" Judy shouted.

Soon, a big curtain was draped over the stage, featuring the bands logo. My tail was wagging out of control with my excitement. I have seen the band 6 times already, but each time is even better. Plus, now they had a full arena-sized production.

Suddenly, the band's intro started to play, before the curtain dropped to reveal Sabaton going right into a highly energetic version of "Ghost Division" with massive pyro blasts. Joakim, who was also an Arctic Fox, loped out onstage (he's still not related to me. Broden is just a common surname for Arctic Foxes). He was an even better singer live than in the albums, and he and the rest of the band had so much energy. There was a giant video screen showing graphics and live footage as well as a giant tank where Hannes pounded his drumkit. The band continued as they played "Great War" and "The Last Stand". The band then played "Steel Commanders." The three of us went into the massive mosh pit as they did that, and began crowd surfing up towards the stage.

Suddenly, Joakim transformed out of his body. So did all of the other members. We all gasped. These were not Sabaton's band members. They were... SLAMMERJAMS!

All the crowd members panicked and ran away. However, we stayed right by the stage.

"YOU STUPID MORONS!" shouted the lead Slammerjam, "you really thought you could get rid of us! We are everywhere! You tried to kill us but failed! And now! IT'S TIME TO KILL YOU!"

"Oh fuck," We said, "please don't kill us, we're not that bad."

However, the lead Slammerjam pulled out their laser gun and aimed it right at our snoots.

Suddenly, a "metal" Cape Buffalo police officer drove in in a black police car. He got out and was holding a black baton. He had a black uniform that said "Godsmack" on the back of it in sharpie. He got out a weapon to fire at the aliens and they all ran away. It was... CHIEF BOGO!

"You're welcome!" he shouted, as he got back into his car.

Our jaws dropped at the site of what just happened. Finally, I was the first one to speak.

"Okay let's go!" I said.

We quickly loped out of the venue and towards the other blocks to my house.

"What the fuck!" Nick shouted, "I never knew they could shape shift like that?"

"Neither did I," Judy said.

"I guess now we don't know who to trust," I said, "who might be a Slammerjam."

"Maybe we can find someone who knows a way," Nick said, "find someone who can tell the difference."

"Or maybe," Judy Hopps said, "we can find out ourselves."

"Definitely," I said, "The lead Slammerjam wasn't doing any of the banter Joakim usually does, and when they played Swedish Pagans, they never did their whole routine. Plus, 'Joakim' was never banging on his knee too."

"You're right," Judy said, "they did seem a little suspect on that stage."

"I thought maybe they weren't just feeling it," Nick said, "also, by the way, is it fine if we stay in your house today? It is much bigger and better than ours."

"Indeed," I said, "You will be very welcome."

"Thanks," the two replied.

We got back into my house, rushed down to the basement, and got drunk to a Nightwish album. No you-know-what was involved because we are all Asexual. We then talked about who was better live; Sabaton, Avatar, Code Orange, or Iron Marten.

"Holy shit!" I shouted drunkenly, "Sabaton is SOOOO great live when they're not aliens!"

"Fuck yeah!" Judy replied, "THROUGH THE GATES OF HELL!"

"AS WE MAKE OUR WAY TO HEAVEN!" Nick shouted, when all of a sudden, Judy received a video call on her phone.

"Oh fuck it's Chief Bogo," she said, "what the hell does he want now."

She picked up the phone.

"HEY GUYS!" Chief Bogo shouted on the video, "I gave the police station a heavy metal makeover. Do you wanna see?"

He then turned his phone around to show. The walls were painted black, but there were also posters for poser bands like Skillet, A Day To Remember, and the Zootopia Undead.

"Do ya like it?" He asked. Judy Immediately hung up the call.

"What the actual fuck?" Nick shouted angrily, "he's such a poser."

"I always knew," Judy said, "fucking prep."

"Yeah just imagine how he'd feel about a mosh pit," I said.

We then got sober by eating a lot of popcorn while watching heavy metal movies like "This Is Spinal Tap" before realizing it was 3 in the morning and we should go to sleep.

"Good night motherfuckers," I said.

"See ya in the morning, shitheads," Nick said.

We went to sleep.