Our Hearts Are One

Calm Before The Storm

Y/N pov

As I am put back into my body I see I am once again on the Quinjet, with my family. Yet I have never felt more alone.

Bucky takes my face in his hands, "What happened, all of a sudden you began screaming and crying. Then you just stopped."

I shrug and stare off into space, knowing nothing will be the same.

No one tries to ask any more questions, because they know it is a lost cause. All I manage to do is sit in my seat and caress my neck, where I saw Thanos hold Loki. Also the same spot I felt a tightening when I lost connection with Loki, that must have been the exact time that ... it happened.

We are ten minutes out from the Wakanda border when I feel someone sifting through my mind. I look to my right and see Wanda is focused and her hands are fidgeting. Before I can tell her to butt out, she launches into my most recent memory and replays what happened on that ship. 

Just before the end of that scene, I use my own powers to physically force her and myself out of that memory. I launch myself at her in rage before being restrained by Steve and Bucky.

I continue to struggle in their arms even though it is a lost cause, "What was the point of that, huh? Did you just want to rub it in! Or were you all too curious to wait for me to tell you?"

Wanda is breathing heavily and avoiding my eyes, "I am really sorry, I was just trying to see if anything happened to anyone. So I could think about how to support you."

"How can you support me!" I scream.

"What happened sis?" Bucky urges once again.

I am still blinded by rage and denial about the entirety of what happened on that ship. "Heimdall is dead, along with most of the Asgardian citizens. And guess what? Thor is probably dead too because the ship exploded with him on it."

I bitterly laughed, "But that's not all, because when is it. Before I lost touch with Loki and everyone else I was informed that both Odin and Frigga have passed away, how I don't know. Thor, Heimdall, Odin, Frigga all dead. But Thanos couldn't stop there could he?! He had to go ahead and choke my husband to death. Leaving me with an upcoming baby, alone. And Thanos was so kind that he decided to put me out of my misery and replay the scene of Loki dying for my personal torment out of spite."

"So don't sit there and ask how you can support me because you can't! Even if you could I don't want any of you too." I look at each and every tearful face. "The only way that I am still standing right now is because I have a locked-off part of my mind and heart. If I open up that flood gate then I am not going to stop and I can't do that to anyone." I state matter of factly.

Bucky advances to me and softly and takes my face in his hand forcing me to meet his eyes, "It's ok to feel it, and to say it," he tells me gently.

My eyes start to tear up and I can feel my heart damn begin to crack, "He died. Loki," I choke on his name, "Loki is dead."

With that final statement I collapse onto the ground as Bucky catches me, I sob and I wail into his chest for what could have been forever. After five minutes however I know we are about to arrive, and that a big threat is coming, so I dry off my tears and pick myself up from the ground. Knowing I will continue this process of grief another day.

I put on my cheery face that everyone knows so well as we step out of the Quinjet. I give T'Challa a friendly embrace before we go into the lab where I see an all too familiar genius. 

"Y/N Barnes?!" She yells as she runs at me and tackles me in a hug. I hold my ground without collapsing, even though I wish I could, and give her a loving hug.

"It has been too long," She says until she notices a tiny bump on my stomach, "Clearly longer than I thought. Judging by our phone calls I am assuming this is Loki's doing," she laughs.

She looks around and see's everyone's faces drop, she picks up on the message but I change the topic before she can inquire. "It has been way too long," I agree.

 We then get to business and come up with a game plan for when Thanos arrives. I am caught up in my thoughts the entire time so I don't pay much attention not that I care. I see Wanda looking at me with regret, my temper has died down so I head over to her to smooth out the argument we had on the jet, "Hey, I'm sorry for snapping at you on the jet. I get you were just trying to help, I just did not enjoy having to go back on that ship."

She is quick to follow suit in apologizing, "I'm so sorry too, I should not have invaded your privacy like that, I won't do it again. Are we ok?"

"Ya we're ok," I state as we share a hug and go back to the conversation.

Once a game plan is put in place we all spend the remaining time with our loved ones while preparing for the battle. Nat and Bruce are getting adjusted to their weapons, Bruce is hilarious in that Iron Man Hulk suit. Shuri is talking with Vision and Wanda while she works on extracting the mind stone. Steve and Bucky talk to each other as they look at the view while Rhodey and T'challa talk about the best lines of defense. 

Sam and I always had an amusing relationship, we both enjoyed teasing Bucky however we sometimes did bonk heads similar to siblings. "I just wanted to say that I am really sorry for what you are going through," Sam tells me as we sit together outside, "But I just wanted to let you know that even though you may think you are alone. I know for a fact you have at least one person on your side," He says as he puts a friendly arm around my shoulders.

"Thanks, Sam," I respond before I remember something I have been meaning to tell him. "Also, I never got around to thanking you for being there for Steve when Bucky and I weren't. I just wanted to say on behalf of Bucky and me, it means a lot that Steve had a friend when we were not with him."

"What about me being lonely?" Steve enters the conversation with a joking tone.

"Bird brain come on I need to have a chat with you too," Bucky says as he and Sam go to talk.

Steve sits down where Sam was before, "How are you feeling?" 

"As good as can be, how about you?" I question.

He thinks for a moment before responding, "As good as can be expected. I just wanted to ask you something before we go into this battle. If Thanos was to succeed and wipe out half of the population. If I was part of that half and you are not alongside Bucky, please just keep an extra close eye on him for me," he says with a worried expression.

"You don't even have to ask," I re-assure him. "But if we are setting our affairs in order, I would have to ask the same for you."

"Of course," He replies as he gives me a hug.

We sit there for a few minutes together before Sam asks Steve to go with him leaving Bucky and me, "I feel like I'm speed dating." I joke which makes Bucky laugh.

He puts an arm around my shoulders and I rest my head on him, "Let me guess, you are here to ask me to keep an eye on Steve if you are part of the half that would die, should Thanos succeed," I say.

Bucky is left flabbergasted, "I'm guessing Steve had a similar talk with you?"

"Yup," I sigh. "I feel as if everyone is about to change, even if we do win the future is not going to be the same," I admit as I put a hand on my stomach.

"But whatever happens just know, I will always love you," Bucky says as he kisses my head.

I ruffle his hair like I did when we were growing up and I would braid his hair, "I love you too."

Before we can talk anymore, T'Challa comes running out to tell us that something has entered the atmosphere and is heading for Wakanda.

I stand up and use my powers to change into a battle outfit. With one final deep breath looking at the sun I head out to the battlefield with all of my remaining family, "Let's go kick some Thanos ass."

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I am not ready for the next chapter :( Hope you are enjoying it. If you have any requests for future plots or new stories please tell me!