Amelia sat at Jawn and Daphnes dinning room table, zoning out to the fullest extent. Half listening in the conversation to add in a laugh when necessary or a simple nod to make it seem like she was present with them even though her head was a million miles away.
"Melis you good in there?" Daphne asks curiously, and Amelia blinks a few times regaining focus nodding quickly hoping that no one would ask her anymore questions.
"Okay in where?" she asks Daphne, playing it off like she had been listening the entire time.
"Okay in your head, you've been clutching that glass of water so tightly we were afraid it was going to shatter in your hands." Jawn says simply, and Amelia sighs pursing her lips together tightly.
"I'm sorry, that's rude of me. I'm okay." she assures them, and gets a knowing look from the both of them.
"What's going on?" Daphne asks curiously, and Amelia wonders if either one of them have any idea that Awsten came to her apartment the day before.
She wonders if she should even mention it, or if this was another thing that Awsten wanted to keep private between the two of them. All she knew was that she couldn't stop herself from overthinking every single second of what had happened.
They hadn't spoken since he left her apartment late last night, neither one of them really knew what to say to each other.
"Awsten came to see me yesterday." she says with a sigh, and by the look on Daphnes face she could tell that she had no idea but it seems to Amelia like Jawn had known this.
"You knew." she says, her attention directed at Jawn and he nods slightly.
"I was at his apartment when he had the lightbulb moment to bring you your sweater, I'm assuming it worked and you let him in? he asks her gently and without meaning to she lets out a laugh that leaves a confused look on both faces.
Amelia has never been one to drink, in fact it had been years since the last time she had a sip of alcohol but talking about this story right now made her wish that she had a glass of wine in her hand.
"You could say that." she says sarcastically, taking a sip of her water and the look on Jawns face lets her know that he is dying for more information.
"Did you talk?" he inquires, treading lightly because he doesn't want to pry too far into what went on between the two of them.
"If by talk you mean throw fucked up insults in each others faces that neither one of us meant, until we had sex and then refuse to talk about the fact it was probably a major mistake. Yeah we talked." she tells him as Daphne half spits out the drink she was sipping on.
"You did what?" she half yells, as Jawn stays silent.
"Yeah it was a great time, then when he was leaving I cried because I didn't want to watch him walk away again. 10/10 healthy coping, might recommend it to my clients this week in their sessions even." Amelia says sarcastically, putting up a front due to not wanting to say how she's really feeling.
Jawn and Daphne stay silent for a minute, not really knowing what to say or how to even proceed with the conversation that they never thought that they would be having.
"Are you okay?" Jawn asks, knowing that it's a stupid question but not really knowing what else to say.
"I wouldn't of let him go over there if I had known it was going to go that way." he adds in at the end sincerely and Amelia waves him off.
"You know Awsten, he had his mind set on it and he was going to come over no matter what you or anyone said. As far as the rest of it went, we are two consenting adults Jawn. I made that decision I just have to figure out what the hell is happening now." she says honestly, and is met with a nod.
"Well what would you like to happen?" Daphne asks her softly, and Amelia sighs shrugging her shoulders.
"I don't know Daph, even if we were to talk things out how am I supposed to know he won't just leave again? I mean he moved out while he was halfway across the globe without telling me." she says exacerbated.
"And I know he was just trying to protect me, I get his reasoning behind but I just don't understand how he couldn't see that he was just hurting me more by disappearing." she adds in before quickly stopping.
"Jawn I'm sorry this isn't fair of me, he's your friend I'm sure you don't want to hear me shit talking him." she tells him sincerely and Jawn shakes his head.
"He is my friend, but so are you. He's a fucking idiot for the way that he acted in the UK and I told him that every single day Amelia. I don't agree with anything that he did, you're allowed to talk about your feelings with us. It's a good thing you're being so open about it all." he tells her sincerely.
It's an odd feeling for Amelia knowing that she went from having no one in her corner before she met Awsten, to having this amazing group of friends that has her back no matter what. It meant the world to her to know that even though they had spilt up, they were there for her.
"I don't really know what my feelings are towards him right now are, seeing him was weird. What happened was even weirder, but I still just feel so comfortable around him and it makes me mad because I feel like I should hate him." she admits.
"I didn't like the Awsten that I knew when he was on tour, it's like because he had an audience he was just arrogant." she tells them sadly.
"I don't think you should hate him." Daphne says matter of factly, and it takes Amelia by surprise.
"You don't think I should hate him?" Amelia repeats in disbelief and Daphne shakes her head.
"You two were literally Magnetic to each other, when one person moved so would the other. When we would all hang out together and Awsten heard your laugh he would scan the room to find you just to see you smiling, and you would do the same for him. You were and probably still are drawn to each other in the best but also the worst ways." Daphne tells her and Amelia takes a second to think about this.
"It's like I'm magnetic to the things I hate the most." she says bitterly.
"I think both of your best bets right now is sit down, and reflect back. See where you went wrong, and see if you can fix it. It's obvious the chemistry is still there between the both of you." Jawn says matter of factly and Amelia knows that he's right but doesn't feel like it's as easy as he is making it seem.
"What if he doesn't want to sit down and talk?" Amelia asked shyly.
"Despite his mistakes, that boy would go to the ends of the earth for you Melis. He'll sit talk to you, you just have to ask." Jawn reassures her and she nods.
Now all she had to do was figure out how she was going to ask him, and hope that Jawn was right,
