Dents

[+] Momentary Bliss

((This chapter contains drug use. Reader discretion is advised.))

Stray blades of grass peeked through the layer of frozen snow in the yard. The scattered trees in the neighborhood were bare and lonesome, stuck up awkwardly next to tightly packed townhouses covered in broken siding. The distant chirp of a songbird echoed through the empty suburban streets. Despite the chill in the air, the bird trilled an enthusiastic tune like they did on warm midsummer nights. Winter was on its way out. 

I found a pair of thinly knit gloves lying in a pile of rubbish in the basement a while ago. I tossed them in the wash and thought to make use of them today.

I made a pot of coffee, carefully measuring the grounds with a spoon and slowly depositing them in to the filter. I didn't understand how it was possible, but there were still grounds mixed in during the brew.

I was so fed up with the sheer mediocrity of the machine that I defiantly drank the slush of grounds as if I enjoyed it, not willing to give it the pleasure of disappointing me again.

When I finished the first mug, I topped it off and took it with me as I sat on the stoop outside. It was already shoveled clear of the snowfall earlier that week. While the temperature was low, the wind was nonexistent. It hardly felt cold.

It had been many months of blood, sweat, and tears since 2D announced the new album to the band.

Our progress was nothing to scoff at. We'd invested a steady flow of caffeine and sleepless nights into production. It was getting on like a house on fire. We'd be releasing it publicly soon. 2D had taken the initiative for the entirety of the project. That didn't bother the rest of us any. I think that it simply came naturally and we ran with it, no objections.

Though, there might have been one person with something to say. 

Even now, Russel and I hadn't spoken much since I snapped at him. Whenever we were in the same room, the air felt heavy and tense. It was evident to everyone that the both of us had been passively avoiding one another for some reason. 2D sometimes shot a peculiar look my way when I'd excuse myself from his company. He never asked what the issue was.

I really didn't mean for it to end up that way. The situation was about as comfortable as a nail in my side. 

I supposed I just didn't know how else to handle it. Every time I tried to apologize, my throat swelled up like it had been stung by a swarm of bees. I practiced in the mirror so that I might finally be able to spit something out. When my voice left me it lacked authenticity. If I couldn't apologize properly, genuinely, then what was the point?

After all, 2D was fine.

I pulled a crushed cigarette pack from my pocket and dug around inside of it with my index finger until I made contact with what I was looking for. I removed the joint I rolled before making the coffee and stuck it between my teeth. I lit it with a match from a half empty matchbook. The first hit tasted like sulfur. 

I watched the sun inch toward the horizon and cast a dim light upon the haze of clouds above. 

The sunrise reminded me of a faraway place buried deep within the recesses of my memory. It was a place I'd thought of a lot recently. It both distressed and comforted me. While I yearned for the peaceful plains and rolling hills of home, I also had no desire to return to my old life. I contradicted myself over it constantly. The confusion was eating me up inside.

I think what I truly wanted was for it to be the same, but different. I wanted a quiet, peaceful life with the family I had created.

Once in a while, the passing thought invaded my mind to suggest I steal 2D away in the night and run, go off of the grid or live in an RV or something. Maybe we could even fake our deaths. We could write letters to the band and catch up over the holidays. Perhaps we'd even meet up and record another album later on. Until then, 2D and I would be the last two people on Earth.

I had everything I could ever want, and now I wanted something else. My brain probably grew a few extra wrinkles from the inconsistent pining of my daydreams.

I pulled a little too hard on the joint. I tried to suffocate my coughs in the crook of my sleeve. I was quiet enough that I doubt it would have drawn the attention of anyone who wasn't already awake.

It was four in the morning. Not a single member of Gorillaz woke up that early, not even Noodle. Though she was the earliest riser on a regular basis, even she wouldn't get out of bed before the sun bothered to. I usually wouldn't either. I was already awake.

2D and I fell asleep last night in his bed watching some made-for-TV movie about zombies. We'd just wrapped up another hours long recording session for The Now Now. We were completely exhausted.

The movie itself was horrendously awful. For once 2D seemed to agree. We dozed off within ten minutes. I had only slept for about three hours total. I definitely felt it in the lethargy of my body. Yet no matter how I tried, I wasn't able to drift off to sleep again. I lay there until the sky lightened a shade from the window. I decided to give up and get up.

A sudden raw wind ripped through the air and burned my cheeks. It urged me to go back inside. The sun had risen anyway. I wanted to try lying back down to see if I might pass out again. It's not like the coffee would've kept me awake. I'd been living on caffeinated beverages almost exclusively since we increased our hours on the album. I developed a sort of immunity that was typically very inconvenient. 

In this case, however, it was ideal. I could probably knock out the second I snuggled back into 2D's slender form beneath the covers.

The front door nearly slipped from my hands with another biting draft. I had to put my shoulder into it to keep it shut.

The house was quiet. Noodle would probably be waking up soon. I decided to leave her a note that the coffee was fresh. I left it in plain view on the crumb covered countertop before I made my way upstairs.

I was finally starting to memorize which path of the steps was the one of least resistance. There were a couple that squealed inevitably. I was pretty silent over all. I let myself inside 2D's room and closed the door softly behind me.

I didn't crawl into the sheets straight away.

Instead, I looked fixedly at 2D, sleeping soundly in a heap of blankets upon the creaky mattress. He was so captivating, too perfect for this world, that I questioned momentarily if he was even truly there. His fluffy azure hair whipped around idly with the sputtering current of the space heater on the other side of the room. His eyes were slightly open, a void of blackness barely visible within. There were dark plum colored rings beneath them.

His lips parted. He breathed in rhythm with the plumes of hot air from the heater. Then he rolled onto his back and did this odd sort of cough-snort thing, and started snoring.

I had to cover my mouth so he wouldn't wake up from my giggling.

I slipped into bed beside him as discreetly as possible. It wasn't very effective. It didn't matter though, considering that 2D was practically in a coma and would stay that way for the next few hours, at least. If the decrepit townhouse ultimately collapsed around his bedroom, he'd sleep right through it.

When I inched closer to him, he flipped over and wrapped himself around me, still unconscious. His legs tangled with mine. His knee prodded uncomfortably into my hip bone. He snored even louder for a couple of minutes. I rolled my eyes.

Eventually he quieted down and snuggled into my neck. I placed a hand on his head and gently smoothed down his hair.

I fell asleep to the sound his steady breathing.