Dents

[+] To Binge

Lukewarm water cascaded down my shoulders from the showerhead, drawing me out from my lethargy.

The water heater hadn't been functioning to standard over the past several days. Without Murdoc around, none of us really knew how to approach getting it fixed.

Honestly, I think the band just couldn't be bothered with it.

The news didn't hit Russel very harshly. 2D and I avoided the subject altogether. Noodle, on the other hand, was deeply rattled. She spent nearly a week alone in her room, cycling between periods of meditation and sleep, only ever leaving for water or to use the bathroom.

Recently, she started to reconnect with us little by little. There were times she appeared distant and detached. I wanted to console her, but I didn't know how to approach her. On nights where we ate dinner together, our eyes would occasionally lock over the table and she would stare at me with a knowing look.

Murdoc had dragged her out of hell. Murdoc had kept me from being dragged back to hell.

The situations weren't so dissimilar.

I lathered cheap conditioner in my hair, letting it develop as I stared down the rusted drain pipe. The water began to run cold.

I thought Murdoc was guilty of a lot of things.

He was a sick, abusive drunkard with an awful temper. He ran with all the wrong people, made every bad decision that was ever offered to him, and he didn't give a damn who he stomped on in the process. He clearly felt some guilt, but his narcissism wouldn't allow him to be held accountable for it.

Everything about him pissed me off. Yet, this feeling of contempt was interbred with a shred of gratefulness for what he had done. Even though his intentions were selfish and his methods were cruel, he had brought 2D and I together. He had kept me safe, even if it was not for my own sake.

When Russel told me rumor had it he was picked up for smuggling, I was uncertain. Something about the whole situation rubbed me the wrong way. I felt like there was more to the story. Considering the man in question, that was probably more likely to be the case than not.

I shared my thoughts on this with Russel. He agreed, adding that there was a possibility they had him for other charges as well. His source apparently wasn't completely reliable, and so we took any additional information with skepticism.

Humanz was released, as scheduled, a week after his arrest without any word from the man in charge.

Since Noodle was essentially out of commission for that time, Russel had become somewhat of a confidant for me, especially for matters concerning 2D. He was acting rather strange, lately.

Initially, 2D had indeed given the impression he was a little beaten up about what happened. He, like Noodle and I, seemed to have some complicated emotions about the matter. After the album was released, that changed. He had suddenly taken on an upbeat, confident attitude that was on all counts different from the man I'd remembered.

Though I was happy for him, it was upsetting to no longer understand someone I had previously known better than myself.

2D tolerated a lot of garbage for Murdoc. Some part of me knew it was impossible for him to not feel at least a tad distressed by his absence. It was unnerving to see him behaving so out of character. I tried to ask about it, but he would brush me off with a cavalier disinterest and change the subject.

I wrung out the remaining suds from my hair, watching lonely bubbles slide from my skin and into the shallow water accumulating in the basin around the drain. I made a comprehensible mess drying myself off. If a guest used this bathroom, they likely would have assumed we had a dog living here with us.

My energy depleted and my mind swimming with anxiety, I got dressed in pajamas and trudged upstairs. I'd originally planned to speak with Russel, though he wasn't in the common area any longer and I was too exhausted to search for him. I decided to spend some time alone instead.

I dropped backwards onto the mattress in my room, concentrating on the paper cranes overhead swaying from the draft sneaking through my window. The walls reflected non-existent shadows on the edges of my vision. I lit a cigarette, holding the ashtray on top of my stomach. The blue grey smoke spiraled up to the ceiling.

2D and I were anticipating royalties soon.

Once we'd gathered enough, we would be able to leave the hellhole of a house we'd been stuck in. Maybe we'd even end up somewhere nice. I reminisced on the floral aroma of the flat in Beirut. I got lost in the endlessly spanning corridors of my thoughts.

I could faintly hear 2D's cockney screeching from the other side of my door across the hall. Initially, I thought he was in his room. Upon a closer listen, it sounded like he was in Russel's room instead.

The two of them were spending an unusual amount of time alone together as of late. Not so unusual, surely, as they were practically brothers. Still, it was more often than what I was accustomed to. I encouraged it. Though I felt somewhat left out, I didn't express my anxieties to 2D. He hadn't wanted to discuss the situation with Murdoc, and he didn't want to discuss this either. I was working on the assumption the two were related. I just wasn't sure how, yet.

Admittedly, I brought the topic up to Russel on a few occasions. Between 2D's unexpected behavior and the long spans of time the two of them would spend in heated debate across the hall, I knew something was up. Just like 2D, he was adamant in redirecting the conversation.

I eventually stopped asking.

However, being the person I am, I never stopped wondering.

The familiar voice echoing out from my vent became increasingly distressed. Before long, Russel was yelling as well.

The only comprehensible thing I made out was 2D's insistent whimpers repeating the same series of words ceaselessly.

"I'm not, I'm not!"

The pictures on the hallway walls rattled as he slammed the door behind him.

He didn't leave his room for the rest of the night.