Best and Honor

Chapter 11

Sophie

I can see the dark silhouette down by the lifeguard tower on the beach in front of me. My head is still a little foggy from the earlier drinks, but seeing Evan in the distance has a very sobering effect on my body. I turn around, looking over my shoulder to get one last glance at Andrew as he walks down the barely lit strand. If he turns around I might lose my nerve to have this conversation and beg him to take me back to the safety of my hotel room. He doesn't turn around.

My sandals sink into the sand beneath my feet and I stop for a minute to take them off and dangle them from my finger. My stomach is queasy and my heart is pounding as I approach Evan. He can hear the crunch of the sand and turns around to face me as I continue to close the distance between us. Unlike at the bar, Evan smiles at me and opens his arms to invite me in for an embrace. I look back to where the lamps shine down on the strand, but can't spot Andrew in their orbs.

"Hi, Sophie." His arms wrap around me and I feel myself tense. He must sense it because he releases me and takes a small step back.

"Hey, Evan." I brush my bangs to the side and tuck them behind my ear to help keep them from blowing with the warm breeze that is drifting in from over the ocean. I can smell the salt and feel the moisture in the air around me. This time of the evening in Florida might be the only thing about this place that I will ever miss.

"Thanks for meeting me." He tucks his hands into his pockets and pulls his shoulders back preparing for my words.

"Of course." I wonder if he can see in my face how badly I have wanted to have this conversation. While I have a lot to say, I want to hear him out first. It's been four long years since I've been alone with him face-to-face and I feel like this confrontation has been a long time coming.

His right hand moves to rub the back of his neck like he always does when he's feeling nervous. I guess there are a few things that four years has not erased. I can still remember his mannerisms and feel the slight pull to reach out and to sooth him like I had done for the years we were together. Instead I curl my hand into a fist and let it stay safely at my side. He looks around for a minute before focusing on me. "Look, I know this is horrible timing. We should've had this talk years ago, but I guess I just wasn't ready." I nod my head eager to hear the rest of his thought. "I think I made a mistake. I miss you. I know this isn't ideal and that it could really screw things up, but I need to tell you how I feel."

I shake my head and turn into the breeze again to help keep calm by letting the air sweep over my features and push back against the tears I feel burning my eyes. When I don't speak he continues. "I needed to grow up. We were just moving so fast I got scared. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

I turn back to his face so he can see the concern in my eyes. "What exactly are you asking my forgiveness for? Do you even know what your actions and choices have done to me? How they've changed my life?" I know he can't, but I want him to try. I need him to search his soul for the apology I deserve after giving him those precious years of my life.

"I shouldn't have broke up with you. We should've talked about it. I shouldn't have forced you to walk out of my life." His nervous rubbing has stopped and his body stands tense in front of me.

"Breaking up is part of life. It's the risk you take every time you enter into a relationship. I don't hold our break up against you." His lips curve up into a sly smile and he takes a step towards me. I instantly retreat a step away from him and watch his smile fall. "I don't hold that against you Evan, but your next move I will never understand. Of all the girls in the world, of all the women who crossed your path after you broke my heart, why did it have to be her?"