Bad Question

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 "It's getting dark, hurry up."

I tread up the mountain, following close behind Michael. I heave the humid air in and out. It was starting to get cold.

He turns around to look at me for a second before turning back around.

Climbing up the rocks on the steep hill was no easy task. My feet were sore, my chest was burning. I had almost no energy left to make this trip back.

Soon, we made it back to where he had set up the camp.

He drops a gallon of water alongside my 2 gallons. "Ok, this should last us probably 2 or 3 days," he shrugs. I breathe heavy, my hands leaning against my knees. It felt like my lungs were collapsing. He had made us walk up the hill for an hour.

He stares at me, his jaw clenched. "Your heaving is pissing me off. Can't you fucking do that somewhere else?" He shoves my chest, knocking me back a little.

I breath through my nose, trying to silence it. He scoffs. "What a bitch," he growls under his breath.

The sun was setting against the vast area of trees. I lean down to sit myself. I had caught my breath by now, but I was freezing. I hear Michael rummaging through wrappers.

I turn my head to the sound. He was walking back to me with a bag of chips. He throws it at me. I quickly get the bag and pop it open before he could sabotage it. My mouth salvates.

"I think you deserve this. You've been a good girl today," he says. I felt like a wild animal, and I looked like one too. I shove them into my mouth as he watches. I finish the bag quick.

He bends down on one knee and starts a fire. The warmth hits my face, overpowering the shrill coldness of the wind. I shiver and chills cover my thin arms.

I wondered often what had happened to Jacey. Where did she go? Why isn't she here? Did he leave her in his house to starve to death? The questions ran a marathon through my head everyday. I had to know. I wanted to ask, but I don't know what it would cost me. It could trigger him.

The silence calms my ears. It had gotten dark. The crickets chirped and the fire cracked. The only thing ruining this moment was Michael. He scoots himself close to me.

I gulp, continuing my focus towards the fire. I was fearful to look at him in any way.

Suddenly, I feel his hand run up and down my back. His lips come close to my ear. My chest tightens.

"Go into the tent. I expect to see you ready for me in 5 minutes. If you're not ready, I will hurt you" he says quietly. I keep my eyes forward, nodding slowly.

I stand up slowly and walk barefoot against the cold dirt and pokey rocks. I could feel his stare burn into the back of my head. A lump arose into my throat. I hate these nights.

I zip the tent open slowly. I wanted to use as much time as I could before he came in. He hadn't used me like this in a long time.

I sit against the floor and start sliding my dirty pants off. I start taking everything off until I was naked and cold. I hug myself for warmth.

I felt weird in a way. I was embarrassed and I felt low, but not as much as I used to. I had let myself go. I knew there was no end to him or anything he does to me. There was no point in hoping for anything to happen because he wouldn't allow it.

My thoughts go blank as soon as I hear the tent zip shut. He was towering above me. I close my eyes as I feel his hand slide across my face in an affectionate way. I hear his pants slide down his legs. There's no hope for me.




"We're running low on food. You shouldn't expect to be eating for a few days. I can't waste it on you," he snickers.

I look at him. I was numb to this. I always felt like shit. He never made me feel like anything more than nothing. I almost forgot what being loved felt like, how happiness and kindness made me feel. I didn't even feel human anymore.

Jacey spins through my head again. I had to ask. It was eating me up. I had to know if she was ok or not. 

I gulp. "Where's Jacey?" I stutter. I look to the corner of my eye just to see him staring at me intensely. My breathing picks up. He growls.

His feet come quickly at me. I flinch and cover my eyes as I feel his fist pound into the back of my neck. I let out a gasp. He hadn't hurt me this bad in so long. I fall to my knees, cradling my injured neck.

"Don't you fucking speak of her! She is nothing to us anymore!" He yells. I cower once again at his booming voice. I didn't look at him, but I could sense the anger coming from him. I knew he was furious. Why?

"I-I'm sorry," I say quietly.

"Oh, I know you'll be."

He stomps towards me, tightly grasping my wrist. I let out a surprised cry. He drags me against the dirt and gravel, stomping angrily. I kick my feet, trying to contain my balance, but with failure.

He drops me near the trunk of his car, towering above me. I cradle my now hurt arm. At least it wasn't the hurt one.

I breathe heavily, the pain from everything he had done starting to combine. He bends down to look at me.

"You're such a disrespectful brat," he says lowly. I stare into his eyes. "I did everyone a favor. No one will ever have to deal with you again." He spits on my cheek.

I had nothing to say, nothing to think. He was right. I was awful. I deserved this somehow. It just wouldn't be fair it it were anyone else.

Just as soon as I thought it was over, he rips me from the floor. His hand were tightly grasping my legs. I was being dragged against the ground once again.

"Please, stop!" I cry out, confused. He keeps going as if he didn't hear me. He throws my legs down roughly. I let out another cry.

He turns around and walks away behind me. I had no idea what he was doing.

Suddenly, his trunk opens. My heart drops. What is he going to do to me?

I hear it slam as his feet tread quickly towards me. I could hear the anger in his steps. His fury bellows through his heavy breaths. 

He turns to face me. I see his rope. My eyes go wide.

"Please!" I beg for him to stop, not knowing what he was planning. He wraps the rope around my ankles tightly, almost making me lose blood circulation. I knew my feet would be going numb.

I kick as hard as I can, trying to loosen the hold. He doesn't budge.

I wriggle around. My body had taken over. I had finally felt the freedom of being able to move my limbs. I couldn't have that being taken away again.

I scream in frustration, cries coming out at the same time. But there was no use. The rope was tied and he was done.

Through all the fighting and trying to wriggle free, I hadn't noticed how much more angry I had made him. His eyes stare deep into me. Every part in my body was ready to be hurt by him. I turn my face sideways.

His fist slams directly into my chest. I let out a gasp of air as it was an unexpected spot to hit. He slams into me again. This time the air was knocked out of me. I felt dizzy, I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was being hit by a car.

He throws his fist into me one more time, near my stomach, with what felt like every muscle in his body. I had gotten so underweight, and it felt like a direct punch to it. I let out a groan, my stomach turning. I felt like I was gonna pass out. My ear rings, I felt out of my body. I was in shock. Nothing had ever hurt that bad.

I start losing focus in my eyes as I began feeling nauseous. A black haze of stars covers my vision. I close my eyes and lose consciousness.

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