My Mistake ⌲ River Phoenix

19; when the hours returned to sand

"Are you alright, Amour?" Olly asked. He sounded worried. I nodded my head from the passenger seat.

"I think I just need to get some sleep, is all," I said groggily, but I knew what I really had to do.

Once they put me to bed, in the guest bedroom of Carmen and Asher's house, I laid there and listened to their muffled conversations.

"Oh god... It had to have been him!" Jo exclaimed.

"No, I don't think so... why would he be there?" Olly asked frantically. I heard them also pace around the room.

"Shhh! she's gonna hear us... she can't know," Jo spoke quietly. "It would just ruin her." I dug my face into my pillow, trying to figure out a way to get back to that damned cafe. I even waited for an hour, staring at the ceiling. At that point, they had already gone to bed.

It was probably around 3 am. I knew Asher and Carmen were fast asleep before we even got home... they're old now, so it's a given. And soon, when the hours returned to sand, I had to get back before it was too late.

I pushed myself off the comfy bed and looked in the mirror. By now, I felt fully sober, so I knew I could drive alone. I snatched Jo's keys from the front door shelf and tried to be as quiet as possible.

~

Once I arrived at THE BLUEBIRD CAFE I looked around for him. He has to still be here, right? I walked up to the bar. It was empty - the whole cafe looked practically empty - to my surprise. However, the bartender was still there, cleaning up. I made my way up to him.

"Ah, you again," he joked with a slight smirk. I scrunched my nose at him - not appreciating the attitude at this time of night. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for someone, you were talking to him a few hours ago... he had a bluebird tattoo on his hand."

"And who's asking?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Why do you care?"

"I don't owe you an answer then," He recoiled and I took in a deep breath. I was not in the mood to play any of his games.

"It's Amoreena."

"Like that Elton John song? Do your parents hate you or something?" He let out a loud laugh.

"Yeah, they do. Now, can you tell me where he is?" I said with a deadpan attitude. He went quiet for a minute after that.

"If you mean River, he's over there," He pointed over to the corner of the building where no light shined. You could barely even tell a tall man was slumped down there. "He's been there for a hot minute now." I peered over and eyed the unconscious Rio on the floor.

"Why did you just leave him there?" I began to raise my voice and the bartender took a step back.

"Woah, princess. Just because you are some crazed River Phoenix fan doesn't mean you can start yelling," He argued, and at this point, I just decided to ignore him. I trudged my way over to Rio.

He looked sad, real sad. His hair was long and dark, combed back with some sort of gel. It looked really shiny. His cheeks were sunken in, undereye circles more prominent than ever. Poor boy. At least he was breathing.

I sat down next to the unconscious boy and pulled some hair out of his face - pushing it behind his ear. He reeked of alcohol - it was distasteful. But, I couldn't just leave him here like this. I knew when I heard his voice earlier in the midst of the crowds that it was him... as much as my drunk self didn't want to believe it.

"Hey, Rio," I spoke softly, watching as his breathing became steady.

"I'm gonna... get this tattoo removed - I can't handle it." I'm not sure who he was talking to but I just sat and listened.

I was more of a thinker than a talker so I just listened to him babble about random shit - it was oddly calming. I sat in complete and utter awe at the way his calloused hands fiddled while he talked and how his gentle green eyes would retreat back and forth from the ceiling to the floor.

He paused in between his inaudible sayings - probably expecting my input, but I just stood there as quiet as a mouse. He even told me about some random recurring childhood dream that was terrifying at the time but sounded like the most ridiculous thing in the world now. I didn't just hear what he was saying but rather, I truly listened.

"How did I fail to give her all the love she deserved?" He asked me, finally turning to me where our woeful eyes met. That's when his glossy eyes widened - in which I'm assuming the surge of realization had finally kicked in. He looked completely stunned.

"It's nice to see you again," I chuckled. He went as red as a tomato and tried to push himself off the ground. It was almost as if he became completely sober after acknowledging I was right there next to him.

"I'm dreaming, this is not real... How much did I drink?" He asked - frantically glancing around.

"How about you come with me, we can go in my car and relax," I spoke slowly, hoping he wouldn't make any rash decisions. I grabbed his wrist and led him outside, not forgetting to give the bartender a rude face on our way out. I sat him down in the car and sat next to him. He slumped over onto the window.

"You saved me the way I used to save you..." He muttered. I looked up at him and giggled.

"I wouldn't say that," I told him. He let out a faint laugh. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Shooting a movie... I could ask you the same thing."

"Carmen and Asher bought a house here. Someone at her work made her believe she could be some sort of singer," I joked as he rubbed his weary eyes.

"She can be whatever she wants to be," he said with a beatific smile.

"I wish I had that sort of mentality. I've gone absolutely no where with my art. It's like I've lost all inspiration..." I let out an audible sigh. He moved his shaky hand over to my shoulder and turned to me. That's when I noticed something gleam on the ring finger of his left hand.

"You're... you're married now?" I stuttered - feeling like a knife was stabbed and twisted right into my heart. He shook his head.

"It's an engagement ring. Sam made me wear it while I was out in public... so not yet."