"Come here," his voice is gentle again.
She gives in, placing her small hand in his. Lifting the cloth, he sees her blood spill out from her palm. He inhales sharply through his teeth and presses the rag back down. They sit there like that for abo...
The clock strikes six in the morning several days later when Keanu finally strolls back onto the lot. He is right on time, again, which continues to concern Sandra, who is used to him perpetually arriving early for anything with an arrival time. The gravel crunching under his motorcycle boots as he walks is deafening compared with the silence falling around him as he moves.
No one is sure what to say or whether they should say anything at all, and his behavior didn't combat these fears, becoming more solitary and withdrawn than ever before. It was hard not to stare at the handsome, sullen figure, as if it were ever easy before, but he became even more striking in his despair, though no thinking person would ever admit as much. There is something behind his eyes apparent to those he lets in to any degree, something that makes you want to wrap your arms around him, hold him, find out all of his secret thoughts.
Sandra spent that first day, after learning about Jude's death, sobbing for hours in his arms. When she thought she didn't have a drop left in her, she'd pause for a moment, drinking the water he held for her, even eating a bite or two of food when he'd insist on it. Then something would be said or done and her sorrow was triggered again. Still, he remained next to her, unflinching, allowing her to drench his shoulder without a single complaint. So when he walks by her that morning, as she is making small talk with Dennis and the rest of the bus cast members, she follows his every step while trying to feign attention to the conversation.
The actor playing Stephens calls out to Keanu, welcoming him back on set and waving him over. She watches as he did his lateral wave she's seen him do so many times before. He waves but keeps on walking, not making eye contact with anyone in the crowd. Dennis is going on about his next project after this and she's nodding her head in agreement but can no longer pretend to be invested in the conversation. When his voice morphed into that of the teacher in Charlie Brown, she finally can take no more and breaks away from the group, leaving Dennis mid-sentence, wondering where she is going.
"Uh, excuse me, I've gotta go, get...I'm sorry." At least she attempted to ask for forgiveness before making her exit. She cuts across the lot diagonally, her long legs not quite long enough to cover the gap between them, but she's trying. She reaches the step in front of his trailer just in time for him to close the door behind him.
She makes her way up the steps.
Rap, tap-tap, rap tap.
There's no answer.
She tries again, not expecting him to light-heartedly complete her door-knocking jingle, but hopeful he'd respond.
Still nothing.
"Keanu?" she calls out for him, her voice a little unsteady. When even that is ignored, she turns away, defeated.
Inside the trailer, he is sitting on his loveseat, staring at the wall. Behind his eyes, scenes fly through his mind: him and Jude in Portland with not a care in the world, in various garages, jamming on their guitars while Jude would create lyrics on the fly, laughing between takes, messing around. He faintly hears the familiar Shave and a Haircut knock he has attached to Sandra's arrival anywhere, but ignores it.
The shriek of his alarm notifies him that it's time to return to the set to film Harry's death scene. Jan offered to push it back further, but he didn't see the point in that. Whether it happened today or in a couple of weeks, it was gonna be a challenge and he'd rather rip the bandage off. It takes all of his energy just to rise from his seated position and leave the trailer.
