How Long Will I Love You?

Chapter 33 - Coming Home

                Laura went home immediately after Peter had left. Everything that Peter told her was just too much to handle all at once that she felt a very familiar swirling inside her head when she reached her place. It was that same feeling when she couldn’t decide whether to break up with Taylor or not. It was that same feeling so many months ago that’s making her head spin again today.

                She wondered how long it was gonna take for her to get past this. Sure, she had accepted the fact that she was always gonna be in-love with Taylor, but she didn’t want this constant nag within her to come with that package. It was exhausting to be thinking too much all the time and she hated it.

                Guess you really couldn’t always get what you wanted.

                This was supposed to be easy. The woman she loved also felt the same for her, still. After every mess they had gotten themselves into, there was still that inevitable pull towards each other which they couldn’t fight, the never-ending longing to still be together even after every pain they had caused each other. Never in her life would Laura have compared her relationship with Taylor to that of Alex and Piper’s, but thinking about it all now, maybe it’s time to change her stand on that one.

                But why was it so hard? Why was it coming to a point where it almost tormented her to even just navigate through it all, to see where all of this was supposed to be headed, and to come to a decision on whether she should just walk away from this, or go back running to one of the very few things that scared her to her cores?

                Thinking back, she thought of how scared she was back then, scared of something that hadn’t even taken place in the first place. She was scared that Taylor would leave her, so instead she was the one who left. She felt sick to her stomach thinking back to that day, and to everything that had happened afterwards, because it was all her fault. She was the one who ran away and she was the one who gave up.

                And maybe, just maybe, it was time to take those all back.

                She thought of Taylor, and how she made her feel. She thought of how contented she felt whenever she would wake up and have her beautiful face the first one she’d see. She thought of how she could make her feel better every time she felt bad. She thought of how everything just seemed perfect with her even if every imperfection in this world was right in her face.

                And how all of that went away when she turned her back on what they had.

                And how much she missed all of that every day since, up until this very second.

                And how the constant voice in her head was starting to get louder and louder, screaming at her to just step the fuck up and win the woman she loved the most back.

                And how she’d finally decided... it was the time to stop her fear from getting the best of her.

                It was time to get her home back.

-o-o-o-

                “Wow, I’ve told you, oops no, nagged you about this a million times, and you never agreed with me. Now this guy tells you this one time and this is how you react?? Can’t say I’m not offended, Prepon.”

                It was Natasha. She and Laura met up at a bar after both their shoots ended. Laura just told her everything that Peter told her, and how this had finally made her realize about what she should do, about what she really wanted to do.