How Long Will I Love You?

Chapter 18 - Decision Made

                It had been a long day. It was almost two in the morning but Laura had just gotten home from her shoot. She shot a flashback scene today so she had a separate set location from the whole cast. When she got home, she found Taylor already sleeping in her bedroom. She kissed her forehead before going to the bathroom.

                After her shower, Laura went out but was surprised that Taylor wasn’t in bed anymore. She quickly changed into her sleeping robe and went down.

                She found Taylor in the kitchen preparing food. She went to her and wrapped her arms around her so that she was hugging her from behind. She then kissed her on her cheek then on the side of her neck going downwards to her shoulder.

                “Hmmm...” murmured Taylor. She smiled at Laura’s gesture. “Hi, baby. I prepared you food. I’m sure you haven’t eaten yet.”

                “Thanks, babe. But you know I prefer eating something else.”

                Laura grinned and she could see that Taylor did, too. She then slid her hands downwards, feeling her curves. She kissed Taylor on the side of her neck again, biting a little causing Taylor to moan. She slipped her hand inside her waistband and then slid a finger over her center, pressing gently. That rewarded her with a moan from Taylor as she threw her head back.

                Taylor then faced her, and Laura was caught off guard by the desire in Taylor’s eyes. “I love you so much, baby. I don’t ever wanna lose you.”

-o-o-o-

                Laura thought of that night, just a few nights after Taylor’s birthday, but it seemed like it had been such a long time ago. It had only been just a little more than a week. She threw her a big party then afterwards a dinner just for the two of them. She hoped that this might take everything off her mind for good. But she couldn’t. And everything was a lot worse now.

                Things were so different now that every moment, happy ones, she had shared with Taylor seemed so distant. She wasn’t sure how she got here, how she had become the complete opposite of the person who promised Taylor she wouldn’t be scared anymore, that she wouldn’t leave her.

                But all of her fears right now were eating her alive. She couldn’t even look at Taylor anymore without feeling terrified of what would happen if she decided that this was not the life that she actually wanted, right at the moment when Laura couldn’t live without her anymore... when she had fallen too much in love with Taylor that living without her would feel like it was gonna be her death.

                She had to get out of this before it was too late. Even if she knew that she loved her too much already, right now she could still leave. And maybe it was for the better, for both of them. Being with Taylor felt right. But so was getting out of the relationship right now. This wasn’t about whether what’s right or wrong anymore. It was choosing what’s more right of the two.

                She was waiting for Taylor. She was coming over for lunch and she thought it was the best time to get this over and done with. She had never dreaded any other time more.

                About half an hour later, they were both at the dining table. Taylor started telling this story about something but Laura wasn’t really listening. She was thinking of how to do this without hurting Taylor. She knew it was stupid to do so because she was gonna hurt her, whichever way she chose to do this.