Me and my feelings

Self conscious

I wish i was blind so I couldn't see my body or my face

I wish i had no nerves in my fingertips so I couldn't feel how un-smooth my body is how imperfect it is

I don't wish i was someone else i wish i was just a better me, a prettier me, a funnier me

I hate me, i mean i really fucking hate me

I spend so much time looking at me I don't know how i'm not already fixed

I can't take compliments because it feels like a lie, like you're teasing me

I have no confidence and i hunch together when around boys

It's hard to fix something you find so disgusting.

Finding myself unattractive doesn't give me motivation to try and be more attractive.

It makes me just want to hate myself

So love yourself because once you're this far in hating yourself the recovery seems so far.