9 - Important To Me

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Day 89

Days passed and we stayed in the house. Waiting for the return of my brother and Jin. But it didn't happen. and with each passing day, I lost hope of that happening at all.

Hoseok and the others didn't ask us about the plan, they didn't pressure us to go anywhere. I had the feeling that Yoongi felt guilty for not trying the plan with the stones initially. He was even more distant than he had been since the Others arrived.

I think we both didn't have the energy anymore after what happened. I couldn't even cry, or feel anything. I was completely numb for days. I stayed in my room for most of the time and when I was among the others I wasn't really present. Soobin tried to talk to me but I wasn't very responsive and Hoseok looked after me to eat properly, as he was doing for Yoongi.

On this day Hoseok took the others out to search for more food in nearby homes. Not me and Yoongi though, we were exempted for the moment.

It was this particular day that Yoongi seemed to have set his mind on training. He had knocked on my door and it was surprising to see him in front of me. He had this certain determination.

       'This house has a fitness room and I think it would be a good idea to practice some self-defense with the swords' yoongi suggested and I nodded. It wasn't as if I had a reason to protest.

We were fighting and repeating the exercises over, and over again. At the start I was happy to train, it was a way to release stress and my anxiety but at some point, I felt myself getting tired.

Yoongi struck the sword out of my hands yet again and I was getting really annoyed at this point. 

     'pick it up' he said and I shook my head

      'I am done for today, we trained enough.'

       'no you're not, pick up the sword' his voice was commanding and without any compassion

       'I'll decide that for myself' I replied, I was ready to walk past him towards the door, but as I was next to him he put his sword near my neck.

       'Yoongi what the hell!' I shouted

        'You have to be able to defend yourself. Out there you don't get breaks either'.

We stared at each other intensely. I was so angry and so was Yoongi. I took the sword with my bare hands, pushing it away and I felt how the blade was cutting into my skin.

       'y/n what are you doing?!' he exclaimed as I let go of the sword and he lowered it.

I left the room while my hand was still bleeding. 

I sat on the bed in the room I had claimed as my own, or well I slept in the living room but I sometimes retreated back here.

Not long after the argument Yoongi came in with some bandages. I rolled my eyes at him.

      'y/n let me take a look at your hand' he said, this time with a softer voice.

       'it's fine' I said which was a lie as there were clear cuts visible. Plus it hurt like hell.

He sighed and bent down to his knees to sit in front of me 'just let me take a look'

I showed him my hands and he sighed again while he started cleaning it and putting a bandage around it

       'Why did you do that? Are you crazy?'

I shrugged 'I don't know why you were so angry. You changed Yoongi, and I miss how we were before.' I just let it all out, so suddenly.

He looked up at my face

       'I am sorry. I just need to protect you. I promised your brother.' 

       'I can take care of myself plus if something happens then I can accept death. I mean what kind of life are we even living now?'

       'Don't ever say that again' he said sternly and surely startled by the tone he used

       'I won't know what I'd do if something happened to you' his voice was now sadder

       'you can go to Jeju by yourself without this annoying person' I joked trying to lighten up the mood

        'y/n don't you understand how important you are to me?'

He paused

        'and not just since this all started' the lastpart he mumbled a bitbut I was able to understand. 

I felt my cheeks fluster.

Was he serious? Were all the signs I saw not just in my head?

      'Yoongi?' he looked into my eyes waiting for me to ask my question, his expression was showing me he was nervous. I guess that was understandable considering he just confessed to me.

       'kiss me' I said and he didn't say anything he just looked at my lips and slowly leaned in closer and closer.

The kiss was careful at the start but my arms soon wrapped around Yoongi's neck to pull him closer and intensify the kiss.

My heart seemed to combust byit.

We laid next to each other on the bed, as we had so many nights lately but there was something different. The air around us was different. Yoongi had a soft smile

      'What?' I asked shyly

       'I don't know, I haven't felt this happy since this all started.'

It was conflicting, happiness filled my body knowing that Yoongi felt the same way as I did but there was also sadness and an emptiness that I thought of my brother and Jin.

       'What is it y/n?'

I sighed deeply 'I feel the same way but it feels wrong to be happy'

and for a moment it seemed to be too much and tears filled up my eyes. Yoongi scooped closer and he softly took me in his arms 'I know what you mean'

Though, it seemed that being like this was like a medicine that could heal my pain. 

Yoongi suddenly sighed

      'what is it?' I asked

      'The group returned'

       'That's not a bad thing is it?' I asked confused but at the same time hoseok shouted from downstairs

        'Hey we are back'

Yoongi lifted my chin 'I'd rather stay like this a bit more'

There they were again, those butterflies

I kissed him shortly on the lips 'tonight' I said referring to the fact we had been sleeping in the same room for some time now so we'd be alone again.

Yoongi murmured and let go. We got up from the bed and walked towards the hallway. 

As soon as we stepped out together, someone clapped their hands

       'It finally happened? You finally acknowledge your feelings?' Hoseok shouted amused.

We both froze as we hadn't expected him here.

       'Hoseok' we simultaneously hissed and we immediately looked at each other and smiled.

      'I guess that answers my question' Hoseok said.

       'Will you now come down so we can all eat together?' he asked right after. 

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