play pretend | lty [IN PROGRESS]

xxxv | my side of things [febuary, 2019]

xxxv | my side of things
[ FEBRUARY, 2019 ]

+

i take a deep breath, pulling my legs up onto my chair, crossing them under me. i look up at my camera, and sigh. this all feels so foreign to me. i haven't sat down and made a video in a long time, let alone one where i actually sit and address things.

"uh, hi guys," i then laugh at how awkward i sound. "okay, so, the thing is i haven't filmed anything in a couple of months. the videos i've been uploading over the last few months— the dance covers, challenges, and whatnot were all pre-recorded and stashed away incase i needed a break. maybe that's apparent, maybe it's not, who knows.

"i just wanted to get my side of things out there because everyone's been asking, and normally i'm pretty good at answering questions and getting back to you guys about things. however, the last few months have been a whirlwind of emotions and trying to piece together my feelings, and myself." i push my bangs away from my eyes, and take another deep breath.

"so, onto what everyone's been asking about. the yuchan situation. um, super long story short, in october of last year, news broke of yuchan cheating on me. that's true, he did cheat, but for you guys, we decided to continue to pretend to date. we officially broke up in january of last year. there was a leak, which i still i don't know for sure how it got out there,

"but um, i wasn't going to share this—but my manager has told me i should share it. but in january of this year, well— i guess it was technically december because it wasn't midnight yet— anyway, on new years eve i had a few friends over, uhm, mark, sid, sora, doyoung, eddy and taeyong. yuchan showed up drunk out of his mind, stormed in and nearly killed me. he uh, tried to strangle me. if it weren't for the boys quick thinking, i likely wouldn't be here... someone needed to speak out about yuchan before now, and unfortunately miyoung and i both didn't have the strength. uh, it kind of hurts that it took a leak for people to start fighting on our side.

"however that being said, i can kind of understand the point of view of those looking in. many fans don't want to see the bad in their idol, and when i was younger i probably was the same. i just hope you guys find someone better to idolize. i'm not going to slandering his name, when we were dating, he was very sweet. the way we were in our videos was an exact reflection of how we were in real life.

"anyway, that being said, i really do hope you'll refrain from spreading any kind of hate towards him, and the situation. i just wanted you all to hear my side of the story. i'm going to take a bit of a break, and i'll be back in april. i love you all, and thank you for watching my video. this is grace, signing off."