play pretend | lty [IN PROGRESS]

viii | torment [may, 2018]

viii | torment
[ MAY, 2018 ]

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"so, what're you doing tonight?" sid asks she helps me pack my filming equipment away into my car.

"yuchan and i—" i start to say, but she cuts me off.

"you guys have been broken up for four months now, and you're still keeping in contact?" she asks, deadpanning at me.

"okay, i have something to tell you." i sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "we aren't publicly breaking up until his enlistment."

her jaw drops and her eyebrows furrow, "why?! that assbutt broke your heart!"

"because, the ceo offered me a salary and access to their recording studios and the practice rooms, for free." i tell her, sitting on the lip of the trunk. "that's why we were filming here today. as part of the arrangement, i have to keep up appearances with yuchan."

"gracie, why torment yourself like that?"

i snort, "torment myself? are you kidding? i'm doing it to screw with him. he's nicer now than he was when we started dating. he buys me gifts, and food. he's so worried about this becoming a full fledged scandal that he's willing to do pretty much anything to keep me quiet. which kind of serves him right, he shouldn't have cheated on me. he should've either broke things off with me or talked to me."

"aren't you, like, heartbroken?"

"i am," i admit. "i loved him. he was my first love, a little part of me is always going to love him. but he moved on while we were together, i'm going to move on now that we're over."

"fair enough."

━━━

grckwn

[tagged: bybyby ]
99,082 likes.

grckwn picnic with channie ❤

9,987 comments...

user1 y'all are so cute
user2 ugh goals!!
user3 chace for the win!
nctea cute outfit gracie
↪grckwn 💁🏻

━━━

bybyby

[tagged: grckwn ]
348,679 likes.

bybyby picnic with my favorite girl ❤

25,965 comments...

grckwn ❤️
nctea 😒
↪user1 you okay sid?
↪nctea peachy 🍑 user1
user2 aaaaaaand now i'm hungry, thanks.

━━━

"grace?" yuchan says, making me look up from my phone.

"what?" i ask, trying to keep my voice level.

i know earlier i made it sound like pretending to be with yuchan wasn't constantly killing me, especially when he smiled down at his phone or cut things short so he could go meet up with this new girl. it hurts, so much. but i refuse to allow him to know that i'm heartbroken. truth be told, edward and sid both had been suspicious of yuchan for a few months. i brushed it off, telling them he was busy in the studio.

because i'd been just as distant due to work. i'd been working on editing a bunch of videos, and helping edward with some things as well as helping sid with some song writing and audio mixing. i'd been a complete and utter mess leading up to finding out. i'd also been pissed about the birthday fiasco. i'd been ignoring him, especially after a huge fight between us.

"i know we've kind of been avoiding the elephant in the room, but i think we really need to talk about it." he says, shoving his phone into the pocket of his jeans.

"we're outside though," i reply nervously, not really wanting to talk about everything.

we're sitting on the blanket from our picnic still, as we've barely even started eating. yuchan's manager, misung, and my manager, hyomin, are standing a few feet away talking. they'll join us soon enough to eat, and moderate civil talk between us. which is honestly a waste of everyone's time, as i'm not interested in confrontation. misung was the one to tell yuchan that i found out about the affair, and from that moment on it was kind of a given that we're not together anymore.

he chuckles, "i know you'd rather avoid this, but i want to apologize."

i don't reply, and he sighs.

"i'm not expecting you to forgive me. i really screwed up, i know that. i should've just talked to you," he crosses his legs and looks down at the pattern of the blanket. "in a few months, you'll never have to see me again. i promise. just play pretend for the time being, okay?"

"chan--"

then his phone rings cutting me off, he hurriedly pulls it out and checks the screen. he looks at me with a distressed expression, and i just wave him away. he jumps up, mouthing 'i'm sorry' then walks away to answer his phone call. standing up, i walk towards our managers.

"hyominie, i'm not feeling well, i'm going to head home. okay?" i tell her, and a look of concern appears on her face.

she didn't want me doing this, she wanted me to walk away and take a break from social media and from my channel. she wanted me to go back to vancouver visit my family, and just have a few weeks to heal. instead, i disregarded her advice, and here i am. suffering through an awful breakup, under awful circumstances.

"okay, gracie. do you need anything? i can stop by later if you need--"

"i just need to take a nap. its nothing too serious." i promise, offering her a small smile.

"okay, well travel safe. okay?"

"i'll text you when i get to my apartment." i tell her, and wave as i walk toward the parking lot on the far end of the park.