Dear Sputnik

III

- BEOMGYU -

A honk of the car horn outside startled himself from gazing in the mirror at his reflection. Beomgyu had been off all morning, ever since he realized that it truly was the first day of school. He had been dreading this day since the very first day of summer vacation. He never liked school, not a single bit. Beomgyu would love nothing more for school to be a social hour, so that basically is what it turned into for him. He had made some good friends, no one closer than Yeonjun, though, and spent his time at school either talking or drawing in his notebook.

His grades weren't the worst, but they certainly weren't the best either. He never really thought about his future, but he really needed to consider that now before he got too low on his grades. His mother and father encouraged him to do better in school, but he had told them that he just wasn't passionate about school subjects. They let him be most of the time. Beomgyu wasn't even sure if he wanted to go to college yet, which would be a major blow to his father's pride if he didn't. His father spent over ten years in college and other training requirements, as he was a lawyer at one of Seoul's biggest law firms. He would want nothing more than for Beomgyu to follow in his footsteps and get trained as a lawyer as well. Unless something changed in his mindset within the next few years, Beomgyu knew for damn sure that his father's dream wouldn't come true.

The honk of the horn jolted him again from his daydreaming, causing Beomgyu to drop his backpack to the floor. He quickly picked it up, zipped it, and slung it around his shoulders. Yeonjun had always picked him up for school in the morning ever since he got his driver's license. Soon, Beomgyu would be trying to pass his test, as well.

He checked his appearance in the mirror one last time before walking out of the door, locking it on his way out. Yeonjun was blasting some song with a heavy beat and soft vocals. Yeonjun had a good taste in music, and he was always suggesting songs to Beomgyu that he enjoyed.

As he walked across the grass towards Yeonjun's car, he noticed him checking his appearance in the mirror. Beomgyu wanted to tell him that he didn't need to worry about what he looked like. Yeonjun always looked perfect in his eyes, even on days when Beomgyu could tell that he was emotional or hadn't gotten enough sleep.

A pang of hurt struck him suddenly as he remembered back to the unrequited love Beomgyu had expressed at the party. Since then, Beomgyu couldn't fully meet Yeonjun's eyes since then without feeling the hurt he experienced then. The day after the party, then two of them talked on the phone before deciding that they needed to talk in person. So, the two of them went to their spot in the park in their neighborhood where they had so many memories together.

Beomgyu had originally planned that he was going to tell Yeonjun his feelings in sober state of mind, but the conversation shifted and Beomgyu couldn't admit his true feelings. It changed into a conversation of how crazy people get when they're drunk. Beomgyu had to pretend that he wasn't thinking straight and that he really didn't understand what he was doing. That would've been all fine and dandy if only it was the truth. He had the chance to admit that what happened at the party was actually his true feelings, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want to risk the friendship that he and Yeonjun had built for so long. He didn't want anything to happen between the two of them. Yeonjun's reaction to the kiss had told him all he needed to know. He thought it was a mistake and that meant that Beomgyu needed to see it that way too. Maybe someday he would be able to admit to him that it wasn't it mistake, but that day wasn't anytime soon.

"Hey, I was about to text you, I thought you were still sleeping," Yeonjun said, flipping his mirror back up as Beomgyu opened the car door.