The Epic Tale of Cregan

Chapter 17: Safety Over Comfort

He's falling once again.

He watches the cliff edge grow smaller and smaller as he descends to the fog and mist of the darkness and when he looks over, he sees that Regan is once again falling with him.

He watches them both become ensnared within the smoke of the void, awaiting the ground that's inevitably going to sneak up to them.

But they don't hit the ground.

Instead, as they reach the bottom, they are submerged underwater.

Cree is able to breathe just fine, but fear strikes through him as he recalls how Regan can't swim.

He searches and searches, panic and desperation taking leave of his senses as he pushes himself through the water until he eventually grabs hold of Regan.

He returns to the surface and sees that Regan is alright. He's breathing and conscious.

And he has a confident smile on his face.

They make it over to the face of the cliff and together, they begin to climb.

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Cree wakes up as the sky is still dark and Regan and Reela are still asleep in the room of the inn. The room does have two beds, but he opted to sleep on the floor beside the one Regan and Reela are asleep in. After what happened between Reela and her father, she shouldn't be alone. She has instantly taken a strong liking to Regan as he strangely fills such a 'motherly' role in her life over just the short amount of time they've known each other.

Cree doesn't know who he is to her, but it doesn't matter. He's here for her no matter what and will do whatever it takes to protect her. Not just her, but Regan.

He's still very uncertain of how exactly he feels about Regan. He wasn't wrong when he said that while Cree may not be 'heartless', his emotions are probably the one thing he struggles to cope with. He just doesn't understand how he thinks he feels compared to how he thinks he's supposed to feel.

So when he thinks about how he feels about Regan, he can't tell if the emotions are what he's really feeling or if it's his mind telling him how he should feel.

Maybe there isn't a right answer. He will always be ashamed of the way he's treated Regan over the years, but most of all since they've been in Aramora. If Cree hadn't considered how Edith would feel, he probably would have killed Regan that night in the forest.

Thinking about that, and as much as he wishes he could deny it now, he knows it's true. So maybe his emotions are not only conflicting between his heart and mind, but also his conscience. Maybe there's this subconscious part of himself that prevents him from admitting how he feels because deep down, he knows that he doesn't deserve Regan. Not after everything he's done to hurt him.

With Regan, there's this part of Cree's mind that has been trying to force himself to act a certain way. Maybe it's out of his own insecurity or just the overall fear of defaulting to his 'Tyrell' state of mind again. Maybe both. He wants to change for the better, but he's starting to think that 'forcing' himself to change isn't the best way to go about it.

He sets those thoughts aside as best he can. It's probably always going to linger at least a little in the back of his mind, but he can drown them out enough to focus on what's in front of him.

His back feels stiff and sore from sleeping on the floor and leaning back against the edge of the bed, but since it was for Reela, he doesn't mind. He still doesn't know how the girl managed to creep into his heart, but she has. He typically doesn't like kids, but she's surprisingly tolerable.