30 Days with Mr. Hotshot❤ |A Shubman Gill Fanfic|

09. Sorry for 'sorry'

Sometimes, it feels like the planet she took birth on was just suppose to give her pain. Pain. All sorts of pain. Pain that doesn't seem to subside even when she tries to push it out of her mind and body. Pain that feels like, it's going to eat her up alive. The one that feels like, it will gauge out of her eyes or mouth if she doesn't talk it out to someone. She's always felt like she needed someone to talk to. But now when she's got someone who's willing to listen to her, and she knows Shubman will do it without judging her, and yet she doesn't feel like talking to him. Why?

Because her past is ugly and she wouldn't wanna talk to him about it and make her scars look so damn visible. And ugly. In all senses.

And so it has always been Karan for her. Her best friend. The one who she could relate herself to. The orphan guy at the school. And the one who didn't had many friends, just like her, but no doubt, the one's he had were the true ones. And so they all– Srishti, Kavya and Aditya became her friends too.

A big smile would always settle on her face when she'd think about how she and Karan met and how things just clicked and seemed to be falling back in place. He was literally her knight in shining armour, her guarding angel. Still is though. Just that things got a bit rough when feelings were involved. Not real ones. Or maybe. Cause why not. Feelings are complicated.

She'd remember how he'd sneak in to her room, climbing the window, when she needed him. Homework or maybe just to talk in the middle of the night. She didn't have to pretend, not in front of him, he knew it all. Just by mere look of her, he could gauge out what was going on in her life. He would know when she was upset, or angry, or sad or in love. He would know it all. It was like he knew her better than her own self. He knew who was capable of her, of her friendship, of her love.

And so he didn't find himself "capable" enough for her. He knew he loved her, he knew what he had for her wasn't what friends have for each other. Yet he just smiled and moved on, pretending he never felt "love" for her. 

Kiara, as always, was oblivious when Karan's eyes met hers last night, when he came to pick up the two little, homeless orphans. But Shubman didn't miss it. He saw how his eyes shone bright when he saw Kiara and hugged her. He saw how Karan's demeanor suddenly changed when he saw Shubman, when he realised Shubman was the potential to be husband of Kiara. Shubman knew there was something messy about Kiara's relationship with Karan. He saw how there were certain feelings involved from either of them, or maybe both of them.

But Shubman didn't want to seem as nosy and interfering so he resisted asking Kiara about it. After all, how long has she known him? Just a day.

Shubman couldn't help but wonder if Karan was the guy, Kiara lost her virginity to. Maybe they were that close? He couldn't help but wonder if Karan was really drunk while fucking her or he just pretended to be, to get under her pants. 

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Kiara's POV:

"Uff Ayesha!" I said, surprised to see her out of our house, trying to sneak in and she jumped back, scared.

"Di?" But before she could say anything else, I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"Aww, Di.. You missed me so much, hmm?" She teased, hugging me back.

"But why are you home so early?" She quizzed.

"You idiot girl, why weren't you answering my calls?" I scolded her.

"Phone's dead." She pouted, showing the phone.

"Aish, you could've texted me, come on." I let out a deep sigh. I was so worried for this girl and she's not even bothered.