An Ocean of Consequences

Chapter Six - Pt. Three

(1440 words)

I tossed restlessly in my sister's bed that night. My mind was swimming in unanswered questions.

What I felt for Valin, I could not figure out. I trusted him, could talk to him about anything, I could be myself with him, always say what I felt without fear that he would judge me or run off scared. It seemed like he felt the same—admitting things he feared would upset me. I was not sure anything about him ever would.

Valin was cocky, unabashed, daring—so different from me, and so charming. But yet, around me, he showed a vulnerability that he hid. He was everything I thought I needed, while being everything I was afraid to admit I wanted. I was falling for him—I had to admit that. But love?

That was too strong a word for what I felt. As much as I knew about him, there was still so much I did not. Maybe I was falling in love with the thought of falling in love with him. Did he feel the same way? I doubted it, but maybe he did and I was being characteristically blind to it.

My mind went in circles. It was so unlike me to ignore logic to this extent. I knew there was only one I was going to get answers to any of my questions.

I needed to talk to him.

My trepidation was hard to overcome. I had just gotten over a rejection that threatened to be the end of me. I could not bear to face it again. But, there was also a chance he would not reject me at all. So I left it up to fate.

T was awake, right outside the bedroom door. Even if he had tucked himself away where he could not see me, I would have to pass by my parent's room and study on the way. If I made it to his room and he agreed to talk, I would ask him how he felt about me. If one of the multitudes of obstacles stopped me, I would take it as a sign to let it go.

I turned to find my sister fast asleep, snoring sounds filling the otherwise quiet room. Neither my shifting weight nor my lift of the sheets made her stir. Even my creep to the door and the sound of the lock gained no attention. I looked down at my clothes—the old shirt and small shorts. It was nothing indecent, but I wondered if I should change into something nicer.

Why? I asked myself. I would open the door and find T on patrol, end up making an excuse, and have to turn back.

I slid the door open and found nothing but moonlight. No lights, no T. Just an empty front room.

In my confusion, I continued toward my inevitable letdown—the letdown I needed. I padded quietly past my parent's door and down the hall, knowing when I made it to my old room, everything would go wrong. But at least I could go back to bed with an answer.

I suddenly became very nervous. My hands quivered as I slid the door open and stepped inside.

Valin was deep asleep. He stretched wide, one arm under the pillow beneath his head, and the other hanging off the side of the bed. Black markings covered his visible arm from his wrist to his shoulder. His chest was bare, the sheet pushed down around his hips, showing the top of his low-hung sleeping pants. I raked my eyes over him like he was a passage from a banned book.

I had never seen him out of his uniform. He was lean, but muscular, causing deep grooves between the muscles in his abdomen and chest. Seeing his masculine form sparked something deep within me.

I slid the door closed silently behind me and returned my gaze to him once again. I took slow steps toward him, following the soft sounds of his breathing. When I reached the foot of the bed, my breath stuttered. What am I doing? I thought.

"Valin," I say, just above a whisper.

He did not stir, his breathing never changed. I looked at the way the moonlight created shadows across his relaxed face and remembered our night on the roof. My heart squeezed at the memory.

Moving to the side of the bed, I crouched down to his level. "Valin?" Nothing. I squeezed his hand, nudged his arm. Still, he did not move an inch.

How had he not woken yet? I crawled onto the bed next to him, sitting on my heels while I tried to figure out the best way to wake him. Now that I was where I wanted to be, I did not know what I actually wanted to say or do. Seeing him this way was a distraction. I knew he had a gorgeous face, but a body to match? My mind was clouded with distracting thoughts, but I pushed them aside.

I placed my hand gently on his chest and whispered, "Valin."

His eyes snapped open and a glowing gun flew from beneath the pillow to directly in front of my eyes, humming louder as it powered up to shoot. I lifted my hands to my mouth, choking back a scream. Valin blinked off the last of his sleep and his pupils dilated with recognition.

"Keerah," he gasped, and threw the gun back on the bed. He sat up quickly and wrapped me in his arms. Fear had quickened his breaths, the same as mine. I took solace in his embrace and fought off my desire to cry. He leaned away to look me in the face. "What the hell are you doing? I could have killed you," he growled quietly through clenched teeth.

I tried to calm myself from my shock and remember why I thought sneaking up on an armed soldier ever seemed like a good idea. "I-I'm sorry," I whispered. "I should go."

When I turned to leave, Valin caught me by the arm. "Wait."

I turned back to face him. Confusion crossed his face as he took a sweep of my body, causing me to look down to see my body placed provocatively on his. When he pulled me close, I ended up in his lap, straddling him. I watched as his eyes scanned over my loose shirt and my bared thighs before he looked up again to meet my gaze. His eyes bounced between both of mine, trying to read what I was thinking.

"What are you...?" he almost repeated himself.

I placed my hands on my chest, feeling my heart beating rapidly beneath them. "I-I don't know... I just..." His eyes narrowed with confusion as I failed to explain myself. "I just wanted to—needed to know if—if you..." My words failed again. As I looked into his eyes, I feared what he might say, my heart still racing.

He only stared at me, his expression a mix of understanding and apprehension. Then I watched as he dropped his gaze to my parted mouth.

I felt my heart stop as he leaned forward and took my lips with his.

A warm, soft kiss that lingered just briefly before he pulled away achingly slow. Our lips finally separated with a delicate sound.

My body ignited in a symphony of electricity—every inch of my skin tingling. I forced myself to stop watching the fireworks exploding beneath my eyelids, and opened them to look at him again. His eyes were searching, nervous, gauging my reaction. I could not say a word, could not think. I looked at him, he looked at me, and all my questions were answered. A smile stretched across my face. His mouth twitched into a smile before he pulled me again into his kiss.

Our lips slid deliciously over each other's. I felt every fear and every anxiety I had fade away with each kiss. I reveled in the way he tasted, the way his hands felt as they slid against my skin.

After a time, he pulls away and looks at me with hooded eyes, daring me to tell him to stop. But I could not. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I melted into him, and he into me, and our kisses became more passionate, desperate. Without saying a word, we both knew where we were headed—and I had no intention of stopping.

Valin wrapped his arm around my waist, combed his other hand through the hair at the back of my head, and rolled me to the mattress beneath him.

I let myself fall.