I busied myself around the house for the next two days. Cleaning, reorganizing, anything I could do to stay busy. Everything was sparkling, and yet, I kept cleaning, and in the moments I was not cleaning, I was cooking. When I sat still too long, I would get restless and anxious to the point of making myself sick.
I was scrubbing the bathroom floor, smelling bleach, and had to take a moment to breathe. A wave of nausea came over me, and I ended up vomiting into the toilet. I felt clammy afterward and knew I was doing too much. I made my way out to the front room to try to relax. Sitting on the sofa, I ran my shaking fingers through the damp hair at my scalp, taking steading breaths to calm myself.
Only one day left. One day until they would be back and I would have to face them, with a smile, and pretend everything was fine, just like before. My parents were getting freed, and I felt like I was the one now serving their sentence.
"You don't look so good, Keerah," T said as he sat next to me.
"I'm a little nervous," I admitted, looking down at my trembling fingers while I twisted them together.
"Could you use some fresh air?" Valin asked. I looked up to find him leaning against the opening of the wall beside the kitchen. "You won't be able to get out much after today." My stomach turned again, and I had to keep from gagging.
T stroked a hand against my back. "It would probably do you some good. You can go while I collect Serah from school."
Was everyone really that naïve to what was going on between Valin and me? I looked at him and I only felt worse. Not only would it lock me away with my parents, but it would also lock me away from him as well. That thought was more unbearable to me.
"Yeah," I agreed. "That would probably help."
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When it was time, we split from T to go in opposite directions. The fresh air helped me feel better, but the weight of the situation did not leave.
"Do you want to take a ride again? We can go to the other side, smell the flowers?" Valin suggested.
"Yeah, that would be great." That was exactly what I wanted, but it was not what I needed. It was only a matter of time before we got caught. An amount of time that drastically decreased the minute my parents returned home. I could not come up with a painless solution on my own. "I think we need to talk, Valin," I said with apprehension.
He looked at me with confusion. "Why does that sound like a bad thing?" I did not respond. Instead, I tried to convince myself it was a good thing.
We reached the bike after a silent walk. He tilted one up and started it. I climbed on behind him and put on my helmet.
"I'll go easy this time," he said before placing his on as well.
We rode much slower than before. We thought it best to avoid the Plateau, so I pointed him towards an alternate route—a long, grassy path that trailed to the tapered end of the island's crest. From there, it was just a short hill over to the other side, followed by a gradual decline into some crop fields. I had made this trip many times, though it took considerably less time on a bike.
