Baby, I'm Gonna Leave You (SQ to Heaven's Door)

2: The World We Live in is Changing

Since their success, I got less time to hang out with rest of Guns N' Roses. Half of it was because Axl didn't want me around them. He hadn't given me very much reason, dodging the question with lame excuses. The other half of it was because they simply weren't around as much as they had been. We weren't living together anymore. Today was not one of those days though. Izzy had invited me out, and I gladly accepted his invitation.

"It's been a while, Luc. How've you been?" He sipped the coffee in his hand. It was in a to-go cup since we were walking down the street. 

"I've been pretty great." I smiled. "Did Axl tell you about the house?"

The dark-haired man nodded. "He did. Congratulations on that, by the way. I'll bet he's  just dying to fill it up with all your children." I turned dark red at the comment. The fact that Axl talked me into as much intimacy as he did was fairly impressive considering, but children? That was a whole other step to take. Especially before marriage. "It's nice to see he's been treating you right. You must have quite the hold on him."

"You already know that." I twirled a strand of hair around my finger.

"Your hair is getting longer than Slash's," Izzy chuckled. "I'll bet it's real fun to brush in the morning." The guitarist had cut his hair since we'd first met. I guess he got tired of having to brush it himself.

"It's not that bad." I didn't mention that every time I'd bring up getting a hair cut Axl would totally freak on me. He'd beg me not to change it. Scared of what he might do if I went and did it anyways, my hair continued to grow down further and further. "Just a little frizzy."

"A little?" He looked at the mess of fluff coming from my head. "If you say so." He thought. "So then Axl has you wrapped around his finger too, doesn't he?"

I looked at the ground, the pace of my walking slowing down a bit. "That's personal."

"It's alright. I get it." He bumped into me a little. "Whatever keeps him in bed with you."

My mouth fell open. "It's not like that!"

"I'm sure it's not," he nodded quickly, giggling. I knew Izzy didn't believe a word I was saying. "You're a holy angel. You'd never fuck a rock star, much less before marriage. Fornication is a sin!"

I stuck my tongue out at him. Both of us knew full well that it was exactly like that. Axl had really left an impact on me that way. Of course, that wasn't the only reason I liked him, but I did enjoy the intercourse that we shared. "How's that going for you?"

Izzy shrugged. "I just haven't found myself the right girl yet. Haven't felt that connection." I felt bad. Historically, Izzy had broken down in front of me over that. Once, I was talking about Axl, and all of the sudden he just started bawling. I didn't know what to do with it. I mean, I'd never hurt that badly over not having a significant other. We never spoke of it after that. I was probably the only person in the world who even knew about it. How he felt about not having a girlfriend was our secret. "I can feel it though," he smiled weakly, a fake. "Any day now. She'll come and fall right into my arms."

I wanted desperately to play matchmaker, but I didn't know his type. Instead of pushing and making him upset, I changed the subject. "Are you guys planning a new album anytime soon? That last one was kind of a joke."

"What? Axl said you would just adore You're Crazy as an acoustic."

"He said that?" Izzy chuckled. "He didn't."

"No, he didn't. But as for the next real album. I can't tell you. It's outta my hands." He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Do you want a coffee?" He stopped in front of the café we were passing. "My treat."

I started for the door. "Why not?"

&&&&&&

Axl rarely brought me along to affairs with the band. I wasn't sure why he didn't. Tonight, he decides that he wanted me along. He bought me a little, strappy, black dress. Izzy was right though. My hair was so unruly it tickled my back and arms. "Are you ready?" Axl asked. I turned around, blinking my heavy lashes. "Fuck," he breathed, running his fingers through his hair. "You're gorgeous."

I smiled, spinning around for him. "I'm ready then." Axl took my hand, leading me out to the car. We had to walk slowly because of my heels, but that didn't seem to bother him.

"Let's go," he went right to his side. I was used to him not opening the door for me politely. So I slid myself into the seat. In Axl's world, seatbelts were optional. I'd long since decided to follow in his footsteps.

How far I'd fallen since last I was in heaven.

The party was everything I expected. Girls and booze were everywhere. You could very easily find someone doing body shots. You could just as easily do a line off of a whore's tits. I was way out of my element, and I knew immediately why Axl never brought me to these affairs. I could hear Axl's voice in my ear, his hand on the small of my back. "Don't just stand there staring at everybody. Go on." He pushed me a little. "I'll get you something to drink. Loosen you up a little." Before I could tell him to wait up for me, he'd disappeared.

I looked around the people, spying a familiar looking blond at a table. I sat down next to him, looking carefully at the buffet of cocaine he'd laid out for himself and Slash, who was sitting across from him. "Hey, Lucy," Slash smiled. "Want some?" I shrugged, sitting down and putting the straw to the powder.

Duff cheered when I came back up for air, rubbing my nose. "Look at you! Angel gettin' some dirt on her knees!"

Axl did not seem so amused however. He came over to me with my drink, arms crossed. "Why did you do that? You know you get crazy when you're high." I stood up, putting my arms around his neck. "Don't look at me like that, Angel-face."

I heard someone shout something. Everyone gasped, the room suddenly quiet. Axl froze up for a split second before grabbing my hand. "What happened?" I asked. He was weaving me out of there. "Ax, what happened?" He was scaring me.

"You don't need to see it if you don't have to, Lucy." So, I shut up. I let him take me back to the car. He gripped the steering wheel tight, not moving.

"Axl?" I asked quietly, nervously.

Axl took  shaky breath. "Angel-face, I think that the same thing might happen to Slash."

"What might happen to Slash?" But instead of answering, all Axl did in response was swear under his breath. Then we were driving away from the party.