Broken Promises

• T W E N T Y - T W O •

~ k h a l i d ~

I walked towards Zayna's room, prepared to apologize again. I don't know what had gotten into me. I never let my anger get control of me and start a full-on fight. I'd always take a breath and calm myself down. This time I didn't.

I reached her door when I heard crying. Not the quiet kind. The painful, gasping for air kind of crying.

I slowly opened the door and what I saw made me feel even guiltier. Zayna was on the floor, her knees to her chest and her face hidden between her knees. Her shoulders shook with every sob. Her hands were gripping her joggers below her knees as if she wanted to rip them apart.

My eyes traveled to the album, disc, and laptop in front of her. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I thought Mama hid those well.

"Zayna?" I called out softly to her. Her head snaps up, and she stops crying. She wiped her tears with trembling hands. I carefully walked in and closed the door after me. Tentatively, I sat in front of her on the ground. "You found them," I noted, looking at the album and disc. She nodded quietly, most likely still upset with me. "Zayna I'm sorry for-"

"Don't apologize," she cut me off weakly. "I'm not mad. I was just shocked."

I sigh in relief but stay quiet, not knowing what to say. I watch as Zayna's eyes travel across the open album in front of her, and almost immediately, I can see her eyes start watering. "Zayn?" I said softly.

She looked up at me with wavering eyes.

I opened my arms out to her, and she leaned into my embrace. "Let it out," I whispered into her ear. "I'm right here." It stayed quiet for a few seconds before she broke down, only causing me to hold on to her tighter.

She screamed, punched, and sobbed. I let her do her thing. Her cries were filled with so much bottled-up frustration, and pain that it made my vision blur. She gasped for air as she sobbed harder. "Argh!" She yelled, her voice muffled into my shirt. I kissed the top of her head, ignoring the tear that slid down my face.

The problem with Zayna was that she bottled up her pain, which resulted in this. Since she was a kid, she never liked expressing her pain. She'd rather stay quiet and suffer in silence. At least then she had Ali to keep her together but now...

I heard the door behind me open, and I turned my head to see a shocked Baba and Mama. I hid Zayna's face with my arm so she wouldn't see them. Not that she would notice over her own crying.

I could see Baba's eyes travel to the album on the floor and the disc. For a slight second, his eyes flashed with guilt, but just as fast as it came, it went. Mama beside him had a hand against her mouth as she stared wide-eyed at Zayna. I couldn't blame her, she's never seen Zayna like this.

"Arghh!" Zayna wailed and threw her fist weakly against my chest.

"It's okay." I cooed softly. "Let it all out 3ni, all of it."

This time Baba didn't even bother hiding his guilt. He looked at Zayna with pained eyes.

I don't want to say this is entirely his fault, but he played a major part. If he'd at least controlled himself and left Zayna and Ali alone until Ali fully recovered, maybe Zayna wouldn't have to hold half the guilt and pain she held.

On the other hand, I know it was also my fault. If I hadn't gone into the whole older brother mode, she wouldn't have to be guilty about today. I knew today was the day that everything had gone downhill, yet I still made Zayna avoid him. If I'd just let her do her thing and trusted her, she wouldn't have to go through what she went through. She wouldn't even have to have a bruise on her cheek.