Aria's Story

~ Chapter 15 ~

As Hunter and I lay on the grass in my front yard, he reaches for my hand and squeezes it before putting his arm around me. I lean my head on his shoulder and watch as many cars pass by us, looking over at us and giving us a quick smile before looking back at the road. I look over at Hunter when he takes in a deep breath and starts talking, "You scared me so much just then," He looks over at me and looks me in the eyes with so much concern and compassion, "I was walking around outside when I noticed what you were doing; I didn't really understand what was happening until I saw you just standing there in the road with a car about to run into you. I ran as fast as I could and pushed you out of the way and into the grass. I put my life on the line because I love you that much and I care about you so much that I had to save you."

He shakes his head at himself, "I don't understand," I look away from him, and try to focus on something else other than this serious conversation. "W...Why would you do that?"

"I don't know," I say as I take a deep breath. I look back over at him and notice that he was looking right at me so that he wouldn't get distracted with the stuff around us. I look down at the grass, trying to fight the tears that were starting to form. "Sometimes, I just want to die."

I look over at him and notice that he's just staring at me. His eyes has pain written all over them and it seems hard for him to talk about this too. It feels as if we both know what it feels like to feel pain and to feel so low about ourselves. He reaches over and grabs my hand. He kisses the palm of my hand and squeezes it afterwards, "Oh," He says that as he pulls me closer, trying to keep me from crying. "Why?"

"It feels like everybody around me hates me and it feels like the whole world would be better off without me," I could feel tears slip down my face. Hunter reaches his hand over towards my face and wipes my tears with his thumb. He doesn't remove his hand from my face, he just keeps them in place, "I don't really think I can do this anymore."

"Aria," He says as he looks in my eyes and closes his eyes, trying to think of the right words to say, "Don't say that. It's not true, not at all."

"I've just been feeling so alone, and there's too much going on right now." The thing about pain, with me at least, is that it interrupts the thoughts of happiness and the daily activities you love to do. Every time I'm alone, I think of so much negative that it's starting to really destroy me inside.

"What happened?"

"Well, first of all," I look around to make sure nobody else was near us so that they couldn't hear what I was about to say because nobody else needed to know about my business. "The bullying and the stares at school has gotten so much worse that I don't even want to go there anymore. A few weeks ago after school when I was walking home, Emily and her new friends came up behind me and made fun of me. I was trying to just ignore them and go home but Emily got out of her car and was being mean to me. When she got back into her car, she poured her soda all of me. That day when I finally got home, Reagan was waiting for me and she told me she couldn't handle living with me anymore so she's now living with our brother."

I stop, trying to calm myself now as I feel like screaming and crying. I look at Hunter and seems to be listening to me with every detail. He nods his head and smiles at me slightly. His eyes are covered with sadness and it breaks my heart to see that. I take a deep breath before talking again, "I stopped eating again and it's been a while since I've last felt a least a little bit of happiness. When you stopped talking to me, I felt so horrible about myself and I blamed myself for everything. I just felt so alone and I wanted to die so badly at that point."

"Oh god," He shakes his head as he looks at the ground. He gets up and starts pacing around the yard, thinking about what I said and processing it into his head all at once. He walks back over to me and helps me off of the grass. He looks me in the eyes before saying, "None of that is your fault and none of that should have happened."

"It did happen, though."

"I know, and I hate that more than anything," He pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead, letting me cry on him as he tries to calm me down again. "I'm here now and I'm never going to leave you again. I promise. You're mine and I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"

I nod my head as we both pull away from each other and look into one another's eyes. "You better not. I don't think I can take it if you leave like that again."

"Don't worry, I'm not. I'm here to stay."

"Okay, I believe you." He pulls me into a tight hug as he lets his tears fall and I let mine fall too. We just stand there, not saying, and just hugging each other while crying our eyes out.

You know, I guess it's true; the people you count on so much can really change you in a way. Hunter is someone I can count on for anything and I know he'll always be there for me. He's been such a huge impact on me and on my life and I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost him. I know we're only seniors in high school but I feel so sure about this: I want to spend the rest of my life with Hunter.