If I'm wrong, I am right / Severus Snape x reader

(how are you true) you need love

(First of all thank y'all so so much for all the support <333 ly )

The holidays were over and the day had come- the first day of school. Your roommates  arrived a few days earlier to prepare themselves for the upcoming week. You spend the whole holiday's in bed, reading. Reading the book who was supposed to be a present for him. Everyone seems to be exited to have school again and usually you would too but not now. Not after everything changed. You suppressed the thoughts of him as well as possible but now there was no way around it - and even worse...you have to face him and pull yourself together and cover up your feelings. All the anger and disappointment.

A big group of well known but also new student gathered in front of the potions classroom. He wasn't there yet and for a second you thought he might be sick but that's the most unrealistic scenario someone could possibly imagine. Even if he were sick, he still would come to teach - or better said torture his students. It would not occur to him in a dream to skip an hour. He calls it discipline, which most people probably don't see as that, especially not the students.

,, Morning." said his voice which send shivers down your spine. His voice sounded strange and not like always. Maybe it was just imagination because you haven't heard it in a while. He opened the door and made his way straight up to his desk to sat down. As he passed you, you could swear there was a smell of alcohol.

Everyone sat down and then he began to split up the tests you wrote before the holidays and no one else seemed to notice the smell. He didn't looked at you as he gave you your results but then there was the smell again, stringer than before. You looked around to see what the others have before you dare to look at your test, it was an O.

,, If anyone as questions feel free to ask me and now be silent. Today we're making Veritaserum. Read the instructions in your book and don't mess it up." He said already annoyed.

After he finished speaking, you immediately lifted up your hand.

,, Excuse me Professor, I have a few questions may I speak you in private?"

He rolled his eyes and gave a sign to follow him in front of the door.

,,Y/n I don't have any time to talk about-"

,,Severus , have you been drinking? Because I smelled it when you passed me even even when you were 2 meters away from me." You said carefully so no one else would hear it.

,, That's none of your concern." He answered and pointed a finger at you.

,,I just want to help you. You're not in the condition to teach a class, go home and sleep away your intoxication or drink coffee. "

,,I said it's none of your concern y/n. You're so obsessive , do you know that? It's impossible for you to let people go."

,,That's the alcohol speaking. Please go home otherwise I have to get an other teacher involved, do you want that? Fine."

Before you could walk away he grabbed your wrist with a firm grip. It almost hurt.

,,No. I'll just sat down on my desk and do nothing. Tell no one."

,,Now you're you literally beg me to help you but where were you when I needed you the most? A right, I remember , you left me with a panic attack!"

He wasn't able to speak for a moment.

,,And you don't know how much it hurt me to do that. You have not the slightest idea y/n." You could see he told the truth because of his eyes, they always told the truth.

,,Still, you left me and you broke out promise. You hurt me in so many different ways, and now you really expect me to help you?"

,,Please y/n I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve any of your help but still, please." He couldn't look you into the eyes.

,,Only if you promise this won't happen again. Never. And please keep it this time."

,,I promise y/n. Thank you. Thank you so, so much." he said and stumbled forward, directly into your arms. You couldn't tell if he wanted to hug you or if it was because he want able to stand normal. This hug didn't felt comfortable. It felt forced and inappropriate.

,, Before we go in again, I need you to answer me this question, you owe me that so be honest. Why Severus?"

He took a deep breath before he answered.

,,It her. She's never satisfied no matter how hard I try to make her happy. After I - I left you she said it was my fault that she reacted like that. And I almost never see her."

,,Why do you stay with her then? Why do you obey her?"

,,Because I love her." And then he opened the classroom door again. He did as he promised- sitting down at the desk and do nothing.

The time passed more slowly than ever until class was finally over.

,,Class dismissed. Y/n stay for a minute I need to speak with you."

The classroom emptied in a few minutes. It was like a deja vu, the last time he wanted to talk to you here he you alone , without a light sobbing and screaming. Screaming for him.

,Are you serious? First you leave me, then you beg me for help and now? Now are you abusing your power."

,,I wanted to thank you again y/n. Really."

,,Fine. If that's all I'll leave." You walked away but then his voice spoke again.

,,Stop."

You turned around and you took a few steps towards each other.

,,What do you want?"

,,I wanted you to know, that I would never have wanted it that way."

,,Then you shouldn't have just pushed me away like that. Good day."

And with that you left him standing still  drunk and alone in the now empty classroom. It was shocking to see him in such a bad shape. God knows for how long he's been drunk already if he shows up like this at class. Someone needs to help him and that's one of the things his wife should normally do ,,for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,".All the happiness had disapeared , been taken away from him. Severus needs a person to talk to, a person who's able to help him and tell him ,that Alena is not good for him. Things can only get worse.

This person must be his friend, his best friend which he treated badly.

(No proofread, please excuse my mistakes. The next chapter will probably take a few days but I'll update asap)