To Have & To Hold [All JunZhe Ships]

Like I do (Angst/Smut)

Summary: Zhou Zishu cheats on Wen Kexing and tells him about it. (Explicit sexual content, Top ZZS/Bottom WKX, mentions of suicide, graphic depictions of violence & mature language. Heavy angst, happy ending)

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It was not a quiet night, at least not for Zhou Zishu. Nothing was quiet about it, not Helian Yi's loud threats, not the deafening music in the private underground strip club, not the man moaning under him, and not his phone ringing non-stop with Wen Kexing's calls.

His phone kept ringing up until the moment he stepped foot into the luxury penthouse where he and Wen Kexing spent their stay. Of course, it wasn't Wen Kexing who paid for it, he didn't even offer, not like Zhou Zishu would ask anything of him anyway; but he still insisted to come along and accompany Zhou Zishu on his unexpected 'business trip', a request which Zhou Zishu could never refuse.

Zhou Zishu has never talked in detail about his work, he'd usually just mention trade and exchange, but never the type. However, Wen Kexing wasn't naïve and definitely not new to this industry; he knew everything, if not everything then more than half, but never uttered a word to Zhou Zishu.

It's only been a few months since Wen Kexing felt the warmth of A-Xu's open embrace for the first time; months and months of longing preceded that, until A-Xu finally yielded and confessed back. Wen Kexing had tried a thousand ways to gain A-Xu's affection, starting from flirting to jealousy to clinging and then ignoring, none working as he'd thought they would. But then one night after wine, when the lights in the red room dimmed and the music slowed, A-Xu had suddenly and out of the blue taken Wen Kexing into his arms, tasted his drunken lips, admitting everything with tears, as if he'd been holding the words back for years.

Wen Kexing never knew why A-Xu changed his mind after he'd locked him out of his heart for so long, but he never complained about the long wait. Being who he is, never in his wildest dreams did Wen Kexing think that A-Xu would reciprocate his affection; it was already too overwhelming that he accepted him as a lover rather than a toy. So he chose to take whatever he received with no questions asked, no doubts raised, no steps back; even if it were only breadcrumbs of what he dreamt of, hoped for, wished for... Night after night.

It was half past four in the morning; the penthouse was still brightly lit and Wen Kexing wasted no time in jumping to the door when he heard the long beep. A whiff of cigarettes and foreign perfume splashed over his face as soon as A-Xu passed the threshold, sending a tinge of fear down Wen Kexing's spine.

"A-Xu!" Wen Kexing smiled, welcoming but uneasy. "You've been out all night, I was so worried. Where were you? You didn't answer any of my calls."

Zhou Zishu panted, hysterical; the earlier dread in his chest almost sucked the air out of his lungs, and as soon as he saw Wen Kexing, he took a deep breath and exhaled a longer one in relief. His shoulders relaxed and his dark eyes hued into a warm brown, inspecting Wen Kexing from head to toe, making sure he's untouched and unharmed.

"Did anyone come here while I was away?"

"No..." Wen Kexing furrowed his brows, "Only room service... Why?"

"So no one came? Nothing happened?"

"What could happen, A-Xu?" Wen Kexing shook his head, "I just miss-"

"I'm tired." Zhou Zishu interrupted, dismissing him with his hand. "Go to sleep."

"Did something happen?" Wen Kexing tried to touch his arm but A-Xu stepped away. "A-Xu..."

"No." A-Xu spared him no glance, "I'm tired. Go to sleep. I'll take a shower."

Wen Kexing didn't hold him back, but there were some splinters of glass gathering in his heart. It's not the first time A-Xu had come back reeking of cigarettes that he never smoked, but it was surely the first time he came back with another man's perfume smeared over his skin, so cheap yet so heavy that Wen Kexing almost coughed. He thought of the worst, but he discarded the feeling and went to wait for A-Xu in bed, and by the time A-Xu finished, Wen Kexing hadn't yet fallen asleep.