My Donnie

Kiss Me

Donnie lets out a long sigh and he looks away from me for a few seconds. "I avoid whatever it is that's bothering me." He says and he looks at me again. "I distract myself and I fixate on something to the point where I obsess over it. I mean it works, when I obsess on something it distracts me from whatever it is that's bothering me. I'm not strong enough to confront my emotions- or my thoughts so I run like a coward."
I don't know what to say, I'm not good at comforting people like this. My mind is racing to find something to say that would comfort Donnie.
"I miss the city too, and I'm worried sick about Leo and Splinter and everyone else. And instead of embracing that, I've been hiding in the barn fixating on how we are going to get the city back. When I'm thinking about something that much, I'm not worried about anything else. There's nothing I can do to help Leo, and at the moment there is nothing I can do to find Splinter. I just feel so useless, you know? But when I'm out there coming up with plan, after plan, after plan it gives me a sense of worth. I know Leo is always the plan maker, but having hope that coming up with a good plan to at least help Leo come up with another plan is fulfilling." Donnie pauses and he looks at me. "Sorry, that was a lot. I didn't mean to dump that all on you at once."
"No, no it's alright, D." He sighs again and I think I get see his cheeks darkening with a shade of red. "What's wrong?" I ask and I put my hand over his. He instantly pulls his hand out from under mine and he folds it in his lap.
"I have a confession." He says, refusing to look at me.
"What is it?"
"I don't like April, I never did. I mean of course I like her, but I don't like her in the way everyone thinks I like her- like in a romantic way I mean, I like her as a friend," Donnie rambles quickly, making it hard for me to understand what the heck he just said. But did he say that he doesn't like April? What...he's been obsessing over her for the longest time-
"She was a distraction." He says, interrupting my train of thought. "And it makes me feel like crap to actually admit that, but it's true."
"What was she distracting you from?"
"God Mikey, You! S-she was distracting me from you." I freeze and to the point where I think my heart stopped beating for a millisecond. "I've liked you for as long as I can remember, it's always been me and you- and then, that day when we were training I had to mess it up and ruin everything! I was too scared to talk to you and I couldn't bare to think about the fact that it would never actually me you and me. So I discarded myself by fixating on April. And I thought it was working pretty well until I saw you there in the woods- and then it hit me that I may never get the chance to tell you how I feel, and I know you don't feel the same way but I just needed you to know Mikey. Know that I love you, and I mean more than just a brother, and I know it's wrong- and God, I'm so sorry." The pink that was in his cheeks disappeared and his cheeks turned into a consistent road for tears.
My mind is blank. No words will come to my head, but my emotions are spinning up a storm. I love him too, I always have. And that day, that day we almost kissed I got nervous. If I just would've kept my mouth shut-
"I'm so sorry," Donnie whispers again and he stands up quickly.
Somehow I manage to grab his wrist before he gets too far away and I pull him back onto the bed. With my hand still holding his I lean over and I quickly kiss him on the cheek without thinking.
He whips around and he looks at me with eyes bigger than anything that I've ever seen.
"I love you too," I say with a smile. Now I can feel my own cheeks glowing red, but they match Donnies.
"Did you just..." Donnie puts two of his fingers up to his cheek where I kissed him.
"Mhm," I hum happily and I nod. Donnie only looks at me my he can't believe that he's not in a dream right now.
"I can practically SEE you thinking D," I laugh softly and I squeeze his hand a little. "Stop thinking and kiss me."
Donnie doesn't hesitate.
He puts his free hand on my cheek and he leans towards me.
I watch as his eyes close as he gets closer, I close mine too. Then our lips meet. They lock onto each other as we share a deep, passionate kiss. It feels like all the bad things just melted away.
After about a minute we slowly pull away from each other.
He looks so adorable right now, he is so flustered. I smile at him but he just stares at me with wide eyes and his jaw hanging opened.
"Donnie, are you okay?" I take my free hand and I put my knuckle in his chin and I close his jaw.
"Y-yeah...you- a-we...?" He stutters out some words- I mean not even full words but the beginning of the words. "We?" He asks again.
"We, Donnie."
"I-I should go make diner."
"You? Last time you cooked, the lair smoked up for an hour."
"You want me to tell Raph to cook?" Donnie says and he stands up.
"I'll come help you."
"No, you need to rest, Mikey." Donnie says and he pulls the blanket up over my lower shell.
"I've rested all day," I groan. "Pleaseeee?" Donnie sighs as he looks at me.
"F-fine," he stutters and he turns pink. "Let me help you then." I throw the blanket off of me and I swing my legs over the edge.
"Could I have another piggy-back ride?" I say with a big smile.
"S-sure just be careful." Donnie crouches down on the floor in-front of me so that I can get onto his back.
I wrap my legs around his shell then I put my arms over his shoulders.
Donnie wraps his arms under my legs and then he stands up.
"See sometimes running from your emotions isn't too bad." I rest my head down in Donnie's shoulder.
Donnie pauses right before he's about to open the door.
"Mikey," he says softly.
"Yeah?"
"Please, please don't hurt yourself anymore. I'm here for you, so just come talk to me, okay?"
"Okay, D." I promise and then he opens the door.

When we get downstairs everyone is sitting either at the table or they are standing around the counter.
"Seriously, when was the last time you went to the store, Casey?" April groans as she looks through the cupboards under the counter.
"I don't know, like the day after we got here." Casey responds.
As Donnie and I approach the table, Raph pulls out a chair. Donnie sets me in the chair and then he walks into the kitchen.
"From now on I'm doing the shopping."
"Fine with me, Red." Casey smirks and he throws his arm around April's shoulders. "You just want quality alone time with Casey Jones, don't ya?"
"Casey knock it off," April groans.
"I can make mac and cheese." Donnie says and he puts two boxes of macaroni and cheese down on the counter.
"I can make it Don, go sit." April says and she puts her hand on Donnie's shoulder. I look away from them, I know I shouldn't be jealous.
I mean we kissed once...
But he's obsessed over her for years. Watching him fall for her really hurt.
"I can do it too." Donnie says and I hear someone turn on the faucet, I can hear some pans and pots clanking together too.
"Don, Casey, and I got a surprise for ya after diner, Mikey." Raph says to me, after not speaking the whole time that I've been down here.
"What is it?" I ask witch a big smile on my face.
"We'll, if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" He stands up and he walks over to me. He stands in-front of me and he looks down at my leg. I sigh and I look away from him. In the kitchen I can hear Donnie cave, he backed down to let April finish cooking diner.
"Stand up for a sec," Raph says and he reaches his hand out to me.
"Why?" I ask wearily.
"Just do it." I take Raph's hand and I pull myself up, being careful not to put any pressure on my injured leg.
Raph puts his arms around my upper shell and he pulls me close to him.
"I'm glad you're alright." He says as he gives me a big hug. "But don't you try to pull that shit again, got it?"
I laugh softly and I hug Raph back.
"I'm sorry," I whisper softly. "I won't do it again."
"Good," Raph says and he lets go of me. His hug wasn't like Donnie's. I mean, it felt good to get a hug from Raph, he doesn't hug often. But Donnie's hugs make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside- that sounded so mediocre.
Raph helps me sit back down then he sits in the chair next to me.
Donnie comes and he sits on the other side of me, and Casey keeps April company in the kitchen.
"Raph tell you that we have a little surprise for you after diner?" Donnie asks and he smiles shyly as he looks at me.
"Yeah, he did," I smile back at Donnie and his cheeks pinken a little bit. But he quickly hides it before anyone else could notice.
I wonder what their surprise is? I really hope it's ice-cream, I haven't had ice-cream in so long.