The Viper and The Demjin

The fog in Kaz's eyes

The Kaz Luc knew when they were children was straight forward, quiet, and had crystal clear visón of himself and others..after Jordie's death, and Luc's disappearance, his vision slowly fogged up.

Kaz didn't know what was theft, murder, driving himself into the ground or not working hard enough..all he knew is he had to do it, for Jordie.

Luciels POV

I've seen Kaz come home bloodied, wet, beaten, crying, I've seen him come home with injures the normal eye couldn't see from Kaz's deceiving mask..but he always wore the same expression after every job, every piece of information he gets from the Dregs about Pekka Rollins, every angry breathe after another failed attempt at Rollins men, every time he came home bloodied with blood that wasn't his after a failed interrogation...his eyes were clouded with guilt, guilt for Jordie's death, for MY disappearance..he blamed himself, blamed himself since he was a 9 year old boy.

One day after Kaz had gone out in the early hours of the morning and came back in the darkest hours of the night...he came home in a silent angry wave of energy, she could tell by the way he limped faster then usually, he saw the light in the room off and declared I was sleeping, before he sat at his desk running his gloved hands through his hair..his annoyed breathes as I quietly crept to the doorway peeking my head around the corner, I could tell the lead on Rollins hideout was a mislead, I thought he was going to stay mad and stay up all night like he did most nights..u tk I heard him say.

"I'm sorry Joride."

That's when I knew tonight was another night of guilt driven insomnia, one that I would wake up under the covers without Kaz ontop of them, the layer separating us from any skin to skin contact, the burier that got thicker and thicker by the day.

I stepped out into the moonlight making sure my presence was known as not to startle him and get a knife to the eye, he looked up at me his eyes wild before he scanned my figure his eyes going straight down to his desk his hands still in his hair.

"What is it Luc? You should be sleeping."
His raspy voice more pronounced as he tried to speak quietly as to not wake Amadeus.

"So should you..I heard you come in."
I said coming over sitting at the edge of his desk.

"Yeah..the lead was a mislead.."
Kaz said as his eyes were looking back and forth obviously thinking...that was the best Kaz could come to a apology.

"I can tell, what did the Dregs say?"
I asked already knowing Haskell wouldn't be happy.

"...that I shouldn't be chasing ghosts."
Kaz said his jaw clenched as he looked away to the door.
"Haskell wants to put me into..restful leave until my mind is clear.."
Kaz said his hands now resting on his desk pulling at the leather on his wrist, causing the familiar strain of the fabric making a slight sound.

"Kaz...that's..he might be right..but he could be wrong.."
I said  my eyes reading his face the best I could.

"He's wrong."
He snapped before finishing
"Why do you say he could be right?"

"Because you ARE chasing a ghost..I know how much you loved Jordie, but Kaz you NEED to remember that this isn't just about Jordie..and it isn't your fault."
I said as my voice got softer as I went on, I saw his jaw clenched and his fist tightened his eyes avoiding anything but me, the telltale signs that he doesn't want to and won't talk to me about this..not now.

"Goodnight Luciel.I'll be gone before you wake up I need to run some errands."
He said as he stood up from the desk making his way to the tattered couch against the wall in the living room, he wasn't coming to bed.

"Didn't you say Haskell has you on leave?"

I asked raising a eyebrow.

"Who said I was on Haskells business?"
He said back.
Street business..of course
I thought as I said

"Ok..goodnight Kaz."
I said as I stood up and walked to my room, I looked back just enough to see Kaz tugging his gloves off by each individual finger until the glove finally came all the way off, running them in the water basin filled with warm water, I saw the line of scar tissue that covered across his knuckles from the street fighting, the other glove came off with ease as the water ran soapy with a tint of red from the busted knuckles on the other hand.
I rarely saw him without his gloves, but when I do it feels like a blessing..and I save those moments in my brain under lock and key. And I promise that I will get Kaz to FINALLY..see clearly.