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I could barely see when I woke up the following morning. My eyes were blurred in a darkened mascara haze as the lids slowly peeled open to the painful sight of daylight. Strands of my hair had caught themselves in my lips that were cracking from dryness. And my mouth. I couldn't feel my mouth. It was so dry it felt numb.
I dared not move, for every inch my body twisted, my stomach twisted with it, crying for my fingers to be stuck down my throat to release the turmoil that was building inside of me. Was the pain worth it? Again, I didn't know, as just like the morning I found myself in bed next to Josh, I couldn't recall anything from the night previously. You think I would learn my lesson and stop torturing myself like this, but it's just so hard to tell yourself that when your neck deep in vodka whilst dancing to ABBA at 3am in the morning. Life's a crack then.
But not now. Now, I felt like the devil was trying to drag me down to the dark depths where I probably belonged.

I eventually climbed out of my pit to the villa alive with people, all except Amelie and Jordan...not that I wanted to see them anyway. Traitors. They could barely call themselves friends anymore after the number of times they had ditched the rest of us. I blame Amelie more than Jordan though. It was probably her that instigated their departure. She was really starting to show her true colours, backstabbing cow. She clearly knew I liked him, I had made that obvious from the moment we met him at Copper Yard. But here she was, galivanting around Bali with him, forgetting the reason why we had travelled here in the first place. How the tables had turned.

The rest of us, the loyal group, were off to the beach for the day to cure our hangovers that were the product of a wild evening in Gili T. Although we may have been feeling it, the day wasn't going to be a complete write off, but instead a chilled vibe with only a few drinks and mellow music - think Nissi Beach if you have ever been to Ayia Napa, just cooler.

Everyone was relaxed as they lay on the white sand listening to the soft waves of the sea blended with the beats of chilled house. Nothing seemed to matter anymore in this moment. Not Jordan. Not Amelie. It was my recovery day...even if I did have a Strawberry Daquiri in my hand. Mads had set herself up next to Mike and appeared to be reading something. It was unlike her to read, she never read anything when we were at school, so it was weird to see her so intrigued in paper, especially a booklet of paper which didn't appear to have anything on the cover. It wouldn't be long before she left her towel and made her way to the bar to replace her empty cup with a cocktail. That would create the perfect opportunity to find out what it was ...maybe it was the next best thing to Fifty Shades to inspire her evenings with her sugar daddy, in which case, I wanted a copy.

The moment came not long after I had anticipated it would. I wasn't sure why I was so intrigued, especially as it was just a book, but her intrigue had captured mine. I slid across to the sand and picked the bound pages up from the towel before beginning to read the first lines on the page that Mads had left it open on.

Bitch.

Mads returned back moments later, clearly noticing me with the book in my hands whilst at the bar.
''Was you trying to keep this to yourself?'' I asked her through a grimace.
She had either kept it a secret to try and finish it before any of us got hold of it or was trying to hide it from us in order not to ruin our day.

''I kissed Jordan. Or Jordan kissed me? Maybe both. Either way, it was just a kiss. Most likely a kiss that was a mistake, but now what,'' I read from the pages to the group.

It all made sense now, but it didn't make me any less furious. Of course Jordan didn't kiss her. She must have forced herself on him, something I didn't do, which is probably why he was now with her and not me. Not out of choice, but out of pity.

''Of course, it was a mistake. Why would someone as free spirited and good looking as him go for anxious Amelie?'' I laughed.
''That's enough of that Frank,'' Mads said, quickly swiping the book from me. ''Give us another round of quotes in the morning.''
I didn't see her problem; she had been thoroughly digged out by Amelie, so why did she want me to keep it from the rest of the group.
''I look forward to it. We could write our own book in response,'' I replied. 'I'm just going to make some notes first''
I wasn't even joking. I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine and see how she liked us writing our thoughts about her.
I picked up Mads phone from the table that rested beside our towels and before making any notes, proceeded to text Amelie. I couldn't control my aggressive impulse. I wanted her to know we didn't need her, but also wanted her to recognise we were annoyed. I may have been drunk, but I was never too drunk for passive aggression.

I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but I wanted to just let you know we're having a great time here on Gili.

I may as well have just text don't come back.

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