The Valentines

XIII

It wasn't working.

Theo had hoped desperately that it would, but the reality was that it wasn't. The routine she had in place only seemed to add to her stresses, because now she not only had to worry about all the things she was worrying about before, she now had to worry about the damn routine.

Sure, some of those things like eating, drinking and showering were combined into the routine, but now she had to remember to do them or she'd be in trouble, which was the last thing she wanted.

Despite the routine only being in place for a month, meaning her dynamic with Esmé had only changed for a month, Esmé's approval had become a lifeline to her. Theo didn't want to do anything that would make her Mistress disappointed in her, that would make her look at her with regret, irritation, anger or even disgust.

Theo wouldn't be able to handle it.

So she was trying desperately to make this routine work and the harder she tried the worse it got. She was barely doing things on time and when she did, it wasn't done properly. It felt like she couldn't get a break, for every time she sat down, William would pop up, reminding her that she should be here, or there, or doing this or that.

To his credit, William was the reason Theo had yet to receive any sort of punishment for not doing parts of the routine. He would send her a text reminder, or hint at it in a conversation.

Still, even with his interference, it was a struggle.

It simply wasn't working the way it had been intended to work and Theo wasn't sure how to start that conversation with Esmé.

Clearly she had spent time and effort on figuring out schedules and shifting things around so everyone was happy and had an equal amount of time. Theo didn't want her to feel like it had been for nothing, but she didn't know if she could do it anymore.

As it was, Theo was sitting in Esmé's office at the table, textbooks spread around her, highlighters strewn across the place whilst the silver-haired woman worked diligently behind her desk.

Theo could have worked in her own office, which was only next door, but she knew she wouldn't get the work done if she was alone. Although she wasn't doing much better here.

"Theodora," Esmé's voice was a warning and Theo snapped her head in her direction, finding green eyes trained on her, disapproval written across Esmé's face.

"You came in here to work, did you not?"

Theo nodded, not trusting herself to speak, but at the raised brow and pursed lips, she knew it wasn't good enough.

"Yes, Mistress," she replied, proud of herself for keeping the quiver out of her voice.

"Then stop staring into space and get it done," Esmé's voice was firm.

"Yes, Mistress," Theo replied again. Esmé turned her attention back to her desktop, continuing to work.

Sighing quietly, Theo looked back at the table she was working at. The state of it was starting to overwhelm her more. Nothing was ordered correctly and she had bits of paper for essays with no relation to the one she was working on around her.

Standing, Theo started to tidy it up. Maybe if it was neatly organised, she would be able to think clearer. That was a thing, wasn't it? If your work space was free of clutter than your mind would be clearer and it would help you to work. At least, Theo thought it was a thing.

Gathering the pieces of paper for the separate essays, Theo neatly piled everything up, collecting what she needed for the essay she was working on and placed it neatly beside her Mac. After sitting back down, she realised she'd just made it all so much worse.