Immoral Innocence {H.S}

"It'll all work out soon enough." 5.

On Saturday I watched him comb his unruly hair.

I forgot how much I adored him. I forgot how overly obsessed I was, I forgot so much that when I looked at him untangling knots in his brown curly hair, I didn't see what I used to.

Maybe I was only so deeply fond of Harry because I'd never seen another attractive male, that is until I started school. I'd never known how many gorgeous people even existed until we moved into the new house, but now we're back here and nothing's the same- even Harry's not the same. His hair was wildly out of control, and much longer. He was tattooed and muscular- in fact I should have started being even more attracted to him- he defiantly did look more appealing.

I was knocked out of my thoughts when my mother barged into my room carrying a selection of pills.

"Take them all." My mother said pouring amounts of multicoloured vitamins and weight loss pills into my hand. One by one I tossed them down my throat, taking swishes of water to wash them down. "Could you take the rubbish outside for me Louisa?" My mother asked.

"Yes Sandra, I'll take your shit outside for you." I said back mockingly, only for mother to give me her famous eye roll and leave the room.

I gazed at Harry leaving his room before I did the same- trotting down every agonising step with a grunt.

I walked into the dull kitchen, the one I'd learnt to despise with a passion, and tied up the loose garbage bag into a double knot. I hauled myself and the grotesque smelling bag out onto the porch, swaying embarrassingly with the extra weight of the trash. With a small struggle, I'd managed to throw the binbag in the bright green bin that lived outside of the mansion we were now back to living in.

I dusted off my hands, just standing still for a while, trying embarrassingly hard not to breathe in the hot scent of rotting egg.

"Bye Harry, I look forward to this weekend." A familiar voice rang from behind me as I watched as two males struggled out of next doors doorway. Shit.

I brought the grey hood of my sweater up to disguise my face, anything for me to go unseen by Harry. We were so dear, no walls separating us from a close proximity. I hurdled my way back into the driveway, my strides only big because the thought of seeing Harry in the pure flesh might just melt my heart.

Then, it almost felt as if the world had stopped its regular rotation. It seemed as if all the oxygen in the world had been drained. Everything stopped, even I stopped. "Hardin thinks your fit." The voice I'd just about been longing to hear my entire existence was speaking to me personally. With a flick of my head my eyes were met with a pair of familiar green ones that I would regularly have studied. Everything was so surreal. His dimpled smile and his perfectly styled waves were even more irresistible without a window blurring the view. He was talking to me. Me?!?!

"W-What." I choked taking tiny steps backwards, my eyes never leaving Harry's. He bent further over the red fence that separated us- me edging further away every second. "My friend Hardin, thinks your fit." He said as a whisper although he might as well have yelled- a smug smirk arising on his face with my discomfort.

I exhaled a breath I'd been holding for seventeen years. "T-thank you?" I stuttered, talking a tiptoe back.

"Don't thank me, thank the pussy master himself." Harry grinned yanking his blonde friend's stripped red jumper.

"T-thank you Hardin." I said complying to Harry's demand. The whole situation was so wrong, I needed to escape somehow. The way we finally met was definitely not planned to begin this way. I was to bump into him 'coincidentily' and while he picked my miscellaneous items that I'd dropped he'd get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife. But somehow I always knew that that was totally far-fetched.

"It's okay umm umm..." Hardin began scratching his head for my answer but with the flood of emotions happening inside me, I couldn't even begin to fumble for the right word.

"Darlin', he's asking for your name." Harry chuckled, still grasping his friends jumper tightly.

"M-my name... Umm... Louisa...N-no it's um...fuck, LouLou." I replied shakily.

"Nice to have you as my new neighbour sweetcheeks." Harry winked cheekily, slapping away his friend before trotting off back to his door, the one that was almost identical to mine, besides the iron number hammered into the letterbox- mine being 50 and his being 52.

I mumbled a shaky "thanks" before lunging back home- the casualness of our conversation completely and utterly heartbreaking. I swung open the front door before clambering inside, closing the door and sliding down it, huddling into a tight ball in the corner of the hall before bursting into an unnecessary fit of uncontrollable tears.

He was a hopeless romantic, why was he acting as if he wasn't? I remember the way he used to caress his girlfriend and examine her physique like she was a goddess, why was he treating me like I was just a working vagina?

I just sat and weeped- my back prompt up against the umbrella rack before a set of heavy footsteps rung across the long hall.

"What's wrong Louisa? Baby, what's the matter?" My caring father asked worriedly as he bent down to my level, clutching me in a fatherly embrace.

"I feel like everything I planned for is just going horribly wrong." I hiccuped into the silk of his red shirt- my salty tears staining his shoulder.

"Sometimes plans don't always go well sweetie, but I tell you, It'll all work out soon enough." He reassured me while I continued to rage into him.

"His hair is so perfect and he just kills me when he looks into the mirror and frowns and his tattoos look so shit but they're so good and he secretly reads and it's so cute but he spoke to me like I was a piece of meat but I still want him to father my children." I sobbed, holding my father close into me.

"Is this Rueben and Angelica's son that you used to spy on?" I felt my father grin into my side.

"I-I never spied on him father, never..."

"Okay sweetiekins."

I managed to occupy the whole of my fathers free time before my hysteria died down to mere mental sadness- which was when I bid him goodbye, took my mail and headed upstairs.

I sat on my bed, two brown envelopes hugging my lap. One letter, with FootLoop dance academy written all over it was immediately scrunched up and tossed aside to gather dust but the other letter was handwritten in familiar, perfect, cursive- it was begging to be read.

I pealed away the brown paper and examined the whole page of slanted brown ink, reading from the top.

Dearest LouLou,
Needless to say the whole schools been in total shock since your departure. Auditions for Saint Lewis Highs newest Queen B have begun. Mr ArrowSmith is literally loosing all his chill and his wife has obviously left him now. Monica's gone suicidal and Damien's been endlessly crying for two weeks. You're missed so deeply, come back whenever you can. For now though, I'm gonna try climb the social ladder again since I've been a drousey mess since you've been gone.
All the love your one and only Alisha x